Self Help

CONFIDENCE Confidence Training - Become A - Moore, Robert

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Matheus Puppe

· 9 min read

Here’s a quick summary of the book:

  • Confidence is often misunderstood as hubris or chutzpah. Hubris is excessive pride and chutzpah is excessive boldness. Confidence is a positive trait in the right amount.

  • Confidence allows you to point out issues without arrogance, name drop when necessary, interrupt conversations politely and ask bold questions appropriately. Hubris and chutzpah involve doing these things excessively and rudely.

  • Having the right confident mindset involves believing in yourself, focusing on your strengths, learning from your weaknesses and mistakes, and maintaining an attitude of continuous self-improvement. The wrong mindset involves self-doubt, self-pity and not taking responsibility for your life.

  • Strategies for building confidence include:

  1. Positivity - Replace negative thoughts with positive ones, express gratitude, smile and make eye contact.

  2. Improve your body language - Stand up straight, make eye contact, smile, use hand gestures to engage your listener, and dress well.

  3. Look the part - Dress in well-fitting, stylish clothes that you feel comfortable in. Take care of your hygiene and grooming. When you look good, you feel good.

  • In conclusion, confidence is a learnable skill that involves cultivating the right mindset, using positive strategies to build your self-belief, and continuously improving yourself. Mastering your confidence will transform you into an alpha male.

  • Confidence is not arrogance, aggression or insensitivity. Those traits show excessive self-belief and disregard for others. True confidence is believing in yourself while also being respectful of others.

  • Wrong mindsets can undermine confidence. Two harmful mindsets are:

  1. Perfectionism: Believing you need to be perfect to be confident. No one is perfect, so this mindset makes confidence impossible. Confident people like Michael Jordan and Novak Djokovic accept they will make mistakes.

  2. Believing mindsets are permanent: Thinking you cannot change your mindset and destiny. While experiences shape mindsets, your thoughts and choices also influence them. You can choose to adopt a confident mindset.

  • The right mindset for confidence includes:
  1. Accepting yourself: You are enough. Avoid comparing yourself to others.

  2. Focusing on growth: See mistakes and setbacks as opportunities to learn. Evaluate yourself based on your progress, not by unrealistic standards of perfection.

  3. Limiting negative self-talk: Notice negative thoughts about yourself and reframe them into more constructive ones. Your self-talk influences your self-image.

  4. Taking action: Do things that boost your confidence like pursuing your interests, engaging in self-care, and accepting challenges. Taking action reinforces your confidence.

  5. Accepting uncertainty: Learn to feel comfortable with not knowing or being in control of everything. Life has unpredictability - a confident person learns to adapt.

In summary, the right mindset and actions can build true confidence from the inside out. But it starts with understanding what confidence really is - and is not. A confident person believes in themselves while also showing respect, empathy and compassion for others.

The statements “I’ll possibly die in one too.”, “This is who I am and I can’t do nothin’ about it!” and “Once shy, always shy!” reflect the belief that everything in one’s life is permanent and can’t be changed.

This is an anti-confidence mindset because:

  1. It doesn’t provide hope that you can become confident. Without hope, you won’t put in the effort to change.

  2. It leads to consistently rejecting efforts to improve yourself. You may try for a while but will eventually give up, believing change is hopeless.

Achievements don’t necessarily lead to confidence. Many confident people achieved success because they believed in themselves first. Achievements without self-belief are accidental or circumstantial. Self-belief leads to achievement, not the other way around.

To uproot wrong mindsets:

  1. Starve the mindset by not feeding it through constant rumination. The less you dwell on the mindset, the more it weakens.

  2. Challenge the mindset through self-interrogation. Question its validity and benefits to establish reasonable doubt. Do this regularly to gradually uproot the mindset.

  3. Spend time with confident people. Experience is a great teacher. Observing confident people in action can help uproot your wrong mindsets through their experience.

To sow confidence mindsets:

Use positive affirmations or self-talk to reprogram your mind. List your wrong mindsets, then write positive affirmations to replace them. Post the affirmations where you’ll see them often and read them aloud regularly to soak your mind in confidence. Keep practicing even after the new mindsets take root to avoid reverting to the old ones.

• Positive affirmations are most effective when used with the help of trusted others who can give you honest feedback. They can help catch negative thoughts before they become habits again.

• Surrounding yourself with confident, successful people helps transform your mindset through exposure and modeling their attitudes and behaviors. Simply spending time with them can help you “catch” their confidence.

• Aim for excellence, not perfection. Give your best in the areas of life that matter to you. Excellence is achievable and builds confidence, while perfection is unrealistic and damaging.

• Continuous self-improvement is key to maintaining confidence in today’s fast-changing world. Reading, taking classes, and learning from experts in your field help you stay on top of your game.

• Positivity involves acknowledging negative events but focusing on their potential benefits or lessons. It is more realistic than a “Pollyanna” attitude that denies any problems. A positive mindset leads to greater confidence and success.

• Body language is a powerful communicator of confidence. How you carry yourself physically impacts how others see you as much or more than what you say. Practice confident body language like good posture, eye contact, and a smile.

The key strategies for building self-confidence are: surround yourself with successful role models, aim for excellence through continuous improvement, maintain a positive mindset, and use confident body language. When combined, these techniques can transform your self-belief and help you become the confident person you want to be.

  • Your body language and posture communicate confidence more than your words. Slouching, fidgeting and hurried gestures undermine your confidence and leadership.

  • Confidence comes from within but is reinforced by your actions and behaviors. Repeated confident actions and postures can strengthen your confidence and mindset. For example, NBA star Stephen Curry’s consistent practice and hard work reinforces his self-confidence.

  • Key confident body language includes:

  1. Eye contact: Looking people in the eye shows confidence. But don’t stare, glance away periodically.

  2. Posture: Stand up straight with your shoulders back and chest open. Have a slight arch in your back. Don’t overdo it.

  3. Facial expression: Smile genuinely, but not too much. Have a relaxed, composed expression. Avoid looking startled or overly perky.

  4. Head position: Keep your head level. Avoid looking up or down too much.

  5. Hand positioning: Have your hands at your sides or in your pockets. Avoid crossing your arms which shows defensiveness.

  6. Walking: Take long, purposeful strides. Avoid short, hurried steps which show anxiety or lack of confidence.

  • Dressing well enhances your confidence and makes a good first impression. People judge based on appearances, whether consciously or not. Dressing well boosts confidence from the outside in.

  • Study confident role models like James Bond to see these confident behaviors and postures in action. Adopt what you can into your own style.

-In summary, build your confidence from the inside out by maintaining an positive mindset and practicing confident behaviors and body language. Your posture, expressions and style can all support and strengthen your internal confidence.

• Gaining confidence requires social validation and interacting with others. You can’t be confident in isolation.

• Making a good first impression by dressing well can increase your confidence and status. How you look affects how others perceive and treat you.

• Dressing in stylish, well-fitting clothes projects an image of success and authority. It brands you as an alpha male. Dressing poorly diminishes your confidence and status.

• To dress well, start with the basics: well-fitting jeans and t-shirts, a blazer, and versatile shoes. Keep your style simple and avoid trying too hard. Simplicity is sophisticated.

• For the best fit, your clothes should rest comfortably on your body. Shirts should fit well in the shoulders, and pants shouldn’t be too tight or loose. Ill-fitting clothes make you look insecure and diminish your confidence.

• The way you dress significantly impacts your self-confidence and how others view your status and authority. Focus on versatile, well-fitting staples that make you feel confident and project an image of success. Keep building from there to develop your own personal style.

• Ask others for guidance on how to improve your style. Hire an expert consultant if possible, get advice from fashionable friends, or study style resources. An outside perspective is helpful when you’re first developing your fashion skills.

• Make improving your style an ongoing process. Start with small changes and build gradually as your budget allows. Replace the worst items first and you’ll gain confidence along the way.

Does this summary accurately reflect the key points about dressing well for confidence? Let me know if you would like me to clarify or expand on any part of the summary.

  • Have an ideal-sized wardrobe - not too much, not too little. Too many clothes leads to waste and confusion. Too few leads to lack of options. Find the middle ground.

  • Periodically get rid of ill-fitting or faded clothes. This frees up space and budget for newer, better options.

  • Have diversity in your wardrobe for confidence. Wearing the same thing daily reduces confidence. Have different colors and styles. For shoes, have at least 3 pairs - casual, formal, athletic.

  • Applying what you’ve learned is key. Knowledge is only part of the solution. Practicing and acting on it builds real confidence.

  • Review and practice the lessons on mindset, strategies and fashion in the book. Apply them to become the confident alpha male.

  • Leave a review of the book to help other readers and allow for future upgrades.

  • Check out the author’s other training books on related topics like body language, eye contact, voice, communication skills, overcoming social anxiety.

  • The message expresses an understanding of the pain of feeling ignored and lacking social connections.

  • It claims the author used to be shy but discovered how to unleash one’s inner charisma to attract people and overcome challenges like social anxiety, shyness, and depression.

  • The book Social Anxiety - Social Skills Training promises to teach readers how to become charismatic, gain social skills, land opportunities, and become leaders.

  • Benefits of following the book’s advice include becoming instantly acknowledged by others, no longer fearing conversations with groups, opening up opportunities, and becoming the center of attention in social situations.

  • The email promotes the book on Amazon, providing a link to purchase it. It also offers a free bonus book on understanding women and seduction.

  • The overall tone is one of empathy, motivation, and promising life-changing results from following the book’s guidance. The email aims to sell the books by appealing to people’s desire to improve their social lives and overcome challenges like shyness or anxiety.

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About Matheus Puppe