Self Help

Protect Your Peace - Trent Shelton

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Matheus Puppe

· 21 min read

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The passage describes Trent Shelton’s experience of burning out from lack of boundaries while on a 32-city speaking tour in 2015. He shares a memorable experience in San Francisco where he felt empty after his talk, broke down crying backstage, and was noticed by an unhoused man.

The man turned down Shelton’s offer of money, saying he sees Shelton as missing “peace” despite his external success. This conversation led Shelton to reflect on the importance of protecting his peace. Since then, he has pursued establishing boundaries and disconnecting as needed.

In the book, Shelton plans to discuss setting boundaries, recognizing one’s worth, and disconnecting in order to protect one’s energy and peace. He notes that people often struggle with boundaries due to worry about others’ perceptions and feelings of guilt. However, caring for oneself is also important. By flipping the script and prioritizing personal needs over others’ expectations, one can subtract stress from their life.

The passage discusses the balance between having boundaries for ourselves and not isolating others. It argues that having strong principles and knowing what is important to us helps us determine when to say no to things that don’t align with our values.

Boundaries do not need to be walls that keep people out, but can instead act as bridges that allow the right people in on our own terms. The key is communicating boundaries respectfully while still inviting important relationships to continue.

The author shares his own experience of setting boundaries after his football career ended. He realized partying excessively was not serving him and stopped those behaviors internally first. Then he had important conversations with close friends to continue the relationships while changing that lifestyle.

Overall the passage promotes having clarity on one’s own priorities and values in order to say no in a thoughtful, bridge-building way - subtracting stress by adding appropriate boundaries for ourselves and our relationships.

  • The passage describes how the author developed their RehabTime videos and social media content focused on health and wellness as a way to help themselves heal after difficulties.

  • It started small by filming short workout videos in their parents’ house and posting online. They began spending time at the gym instead of clubs and reading insights from others who had overcome similar challenges.

  • Over time, the author came to realize that self-care is about making choices that help you become your best self. It’s about situations that support your energy and peace of mind. This allowed them to better understand their own needs and principles.

  • Setting boundaries is key to maintaining peace. Saying no when needed, even without justification, is an important way to set the tone for your life and instruct others on how to treat you. Consistency with boundaries also leads to more respect from others.

  • Boundary setting can be challenging with family, but communication is important to clearly set expectations while still honoring relationships. Prioritizing your own needs first allows you to be there for others who depend on you.

So in summary, the passage discusses the author’s journey to health and wellness after difficulties, the importance of self-care and setting boundaries, especially with family, through clear communication. It’s about evolving to your best self through maintaining your energy and peace of mind.

  • It is important to set boundaries and say no sometimes in order to avoid enabling others and becoming drained. Helping once in a while is fine but not enabling long-term dependence.

  • The author shares an example of setting a boundary with his son by teaching him responsibility for his own breakfast and outfit choices. This gave the author more free time and taught the son valuable life skills.

  • Setting boundaries may be difficult at first but is necessary for protecting your own energy and well-being. It’s okay if some people don’t understand at first.

  • Choosing yourself by setting boundaries is important. You have to listen to your own needs even if others don’t agree at first. Happiness and peace are choices.

  • Focus on your core values like relationships, honesty, etc. and set boundaries accordingly with people as needed to stay true to your values.

  • Connecting with sunrises, nature, people who energize you is important for perspective. Make sure your connections are with things that fill you rather than drain you. Choosing intentionally is important for your well-being and life.

  • The passage encourages disconnecting from external distractions like social media and instead focusing on inner peace and purpose. Things like scrolling mindlessly on phones first thing drain energy.

  • It recommends daily practices like meditation, prayer, and affirmations to stay connected to one’s true self and higher spiritual nature. These practices can transform mindsets and unleash positive energy.

  • Nature is presented as hugely important for healing and invoking a sense of serenity. Being in nature helps the author feel like a different, primal version of themselves and tap into ancient wisdom. Daily activities like running trails are emphasized.

  • Finding purpose is positioned as crucial for well-being and fulfillment. One’s purpose cannot be defined by external factors like career or relationships - it’s an internal quality to align with through self-reflection and tuning out distractions.

The overall message is about vigilantly protecting one’s energy, peace of mind, and connection to spirituality by disengaging from draining influences and engaging in replenishing daily routines focused on the inner self, purpose and nature. These practices are presented as transformative for well-being.

The author finds being in nature to be mentally healing and calming. It helps them feel centered, at peace, and disconnected from problems. During the COVID lockdown, they made nature their office by recording podcasts outdoors.

They imagine recording in even more dramatic natural settings like an outdoor “studio” in the middle of a trail. They emphasize that being in nature helps them feel tuned into their inner wisdom and inspiration. People connect with their nature-related social media content and find it inspiring.

They acknowledge that nature isn’t for everyone, especially those not traditionally connected to it. However, they encourage giving it a try by using apps to find trails and going with knowledgeable companions. Most people experience beneficial mental health and clarity effects.

Environments can hold positive or negative energy. Work situations sometimes drain energy, so it’s important to disconnect from stress and reconnect with oneself. Wise sayings from grandparents remind them not to let external factors determine self-worth.

Life has a “running clock” that can’t be rewound or paused. It’s easy to waste time on distractions instead of purpose. Connecting to loved ones and dreams today is important since tomorrow is not promised. Major events like losing family members make mortality very real. The goal is to move forward from grief in an intentional way that would make loved ones proud.

The passage discusses the importance of disconnecting from things that drain your energy. Some key points:

  • Energy is expensive and limited, like water in a bottle. We need to stop wasting it on unproductive connections and environments.

  • Start your day by disconnecting from your phone and negative influences for an hour, to replenish your soul and power up for the day. Don’t let comparisons and negativity weigh you down.

  • Say no not just to things that don’t serve you, but also to opportunities that are merely “okay” or “average”. Only pursue things that excite you and feel like a “hell yeah”. Settling for less means regretting not reaching your potential.

  • View your life and energy like soil. Bad or toxic influences are bad soil that will prevent you from flourishing. Disconnect from them and connect to healthy, nourishing environments and people instead.

  • The example of disconnecting from phones for an hour each morning and evening is given. Replace that time with meditation, prayer, or time in nature to replenish your spirit. Disconnecting regularly is important to protect your peace.

  • Your inherent worth comes from who you are, not what you have or don’t have. You were created to be a light and have purpose.

  • Knowing your worth allows you to stand firm even when external circumstances are unfavorable. It’s important to discover where your self-esteem comes from.

  • The first step to understanding your worth is self-acceptance - fully accepting who you are now with both positives and negatives. This allows you to accept your past and control your own future narrative.

  • True confidence comes from knowing your worth, not seeking approval from others. Your circumstances shouldn’t determine your self-esteem.

  • External status like achievements or relationships can be fleeting, but your inherent worth given at birth cannot be taken away. Don’t chase status over worth.

  • Perfection is unrealistic. Share your real, imperfect self authentically rather than comparing to unrealistic social media images. Mistakes are part of growth. Own your experiences to empower yourself.

The key message is to focus on discovering and embracing your inherent worth and purpose rather than basing self-esteem on fleeting external factors or unrealistic ideals of perfection. Self-acceptance is the foundation for confidence and controlling your own narrative.

  • The passage discusses the importance of walking through pain and doing the healing work to heal from past hurts. Many people avoid healing because it’s hard, but living with pain is even harder in the long run.

  • When you choose healing, past experiences can build you and make you stronger. Mistakes can be turned into lessons. Major setbacks can lead to comebacks.

  • Your true worth and potential comes from within, not by trying to live up to others’ definitions of success. Comparing yourself to others will only hold you back from achieving peace and purpose.

  • It’s important to stop seeking approval from others and instead demand your own worth. Visionaries got that way by tuning out limiting voices and listening to their inner truth and calling.

  • To find your worth, you must identify what or who has been controlling you externally and making you dependent on outside factors like relationships, jobs, money etc. Through self-reflection you can separate your inner worth from outer influences.

  • By connecting with your inner worth, you stop chasing fulfillment and attract the right opportunities and people into your life through positive energy. This allows you to live fully in your potential and gifts.

  • Chasing worth and trying too hard will leave you feeling empty inside. Rather than chasing, focus on tapping into your inherent worth and living in your potential. When you do this, things get easier and you attract rather than chase.

  • Many people try too hard to impress others by filling out their social media profiles, but this leaves them feeling empty. Instead, recognize that we are all experts in life itself through our experiences. Your life experiences have taught you more than any classroom education.

  • To magnetize abundance, stop chasing worth and accept yourself. Develop confidence in who you are and your worth. When you do this, you will stop chasing and become a “magnet” that attracts opportunities and people. Living generously and in gratitude helps shift from a mindset of scarcity to one of abundance.

  • Simply be your authentic self. Serve others and connect to your inner truth. Rely on internal work like healing and self-acceptance rather than external validation. Have faith in your vision and don’t let others diminish your worth. When you find your worth, you gain a confidence and presence that cannot be taken away.

  • The author started pursuing a vision of speaking, writing and sharing their message, but people thought it was crazy since they were a football player, not a speaker or writer.

  • It’s hard to explain your vision to others because they can’t see it as clearly as you. They will react with discomfort, see it as blurred and respond with doubts about your abilities or chances of success.

  • When you share your vision, others may project their own fears and limitations onto you. This can cause you to doubt your vision and see things through their negative lenses instead of your own.

  • There are three types of lenses - past lenses seeing through mistakes/regrets, pleasing lenses focusing on impressing others, and power lenses seeing your own greatness.

  • Be very careful who you share your vision with. Close friends/family may be biased and stuck in seeing your past self, not who you want to become. Share cautiously with proven sources of support who have achieved similar success.

  • Too-close people are often not the best to get true feedback from, as they are used to the old version of you. Bring your vision to new people without preconceptions who can identify with and support it.

  • The passage encourages putting yourself in others’ shoes when they share a new vision or dream with excitement. It warns against unintentionally crushing others’ dreams by not being open-minded or doubting they can achieve it.

  • It advises making room for loved ones’ dreams and remembering that great achievers were once dreaming big goals that seemed far off. Allowing them to pursue their dreams will help them learn, even if they don’t fully achieve it.

  • It suggests that if one has faced doubt from close ones about sharing visions, to focus on quietly creating and proving things to oneself rather than trying to prove things to others. One should be their own top priority and motivation.

  • The overall message is about being supportive of others’ dreams instead of dismissive, and focusing on being one’s own hero and source of motivation rather than seeking approval from outside skeptics. It’s about empowering oneself and others to chase big goals and visions.

  • Finishing what you start is important, yet many people quit too easily when things don’t go perfectly. Sticking with your vision through challenges and setbacks is key to completing it.

  • Distractions are rampant in today’s world and make it easy to abandon your goals and vision. Social media, games, and other entertainments take people away from focusing on what’s important.

  • Guarding your focus is a major responsibility. Entertainment distractions keep people stuck in mediocrity instead of moving forward. Having morning and evening routines helps maintain focus and momentum.

  • Why you live and what purpose drives you is important to define, otherwise distractions will fill your mind and soul. Small changes over time can improve focus on your vision and bring your greatness to the world. Being aware of distractions gives you power to redirect your life.

The key messages are about the importance of finishing what you start, protecting your focus from endless distractions, and living purposefully with a clear vision and goals rather than just doing random, distraction-based activities. Making gradual improvements to your focus and routines can help you stay on track.

In summary, the quote suggests that becoming more intentional and focused on the present moment, rather than distracted by phones and other technologies, can lead to a profoundly improved quality of life. By embracing presence, one gains an appreciation for life’s fleeting moments and more meaningful connections with loved ones. This shift in perspective and habits can “lead to a whole new life.”

The passage discusses the importance of perspective and how it can either empower or limit you. A healthy perspective is one of the most important factors in well-being, more so than external circumstances.

It emphasizes that you have a choice in how you view your life and experiences. You can see them as imprisoning you or empowering you. Those with a “power perspective” own their past struggles and use them to grow stronger, while a “prison perspective” keeps one defined by past negatives.

It talks about how the author has experienced both perspectives and now works to catch himself when slipping into negative thinking. He recognizes the importance of taking ownership over his own life and choosing an empowered view.

The core message is that perspective is hugely influential on our lives and happiness. By actively shifting to see past hardships as strengths and opportunities for growth, one gains a healthy outlook and lives empowered rather than feeling limited by past difficulties. Choosing to heal from past wounds allows one to utilize struggles as fuel rather than distractions.

  • The passage discusses how to shift from a “prison perspective” to a “power perspective” when facing negativity, pain, loss or setbacks in life.

  • A prison perspective involves blaming others, feeling like a victim, and believing circumstances control you. This can multiply negative thoughts and feelings.

  • A power perspective involves taking ownership and responsibility for your choices, perspective and future. It means asking “What is this going to mean?” rather than staying stuck in problems.

  • Healing does not happen automatically with time. You must make a choice to heal by consciously rejecting the prison perspective and focusing on growth and solutions.

  • Shifting perspective from “Why me?” to “Why not me?” using the question “What’s it going to mean?” can spark intentional healing and move you from a rut to realizing your power.

  • Worry is poison that holds people back. The passage encourages identifying and disrupting negative thought patterns like worry that prevent growth and doing the work of healing.

In summary, it advocates taking control of your mindset by shifting from victimhood to empowerment in order to heal from life’s difficulties and realize your potential.

  • Worry can drain your energy and keep you stuck, as we spend so much time worrying about things we can’t control or that never happen. Worry takes away our focus from appreciating what we have.

  • The author uses the cue “It could be worse. It will get better” to help overcome worry. The second part about it getting better is most important and should be meditated on.

  • Believing it will get better creates more confidence than just hoping it can get better. Giving worries to God can help as well, as our burdens are His to carry.

  • The author challenges the reader to be a “disruptor” in their own life by disrupting unhealthy patterns, routines, and lifestyles that aren’t progressing them.

  • It’s important to identify non-negotiables like how we raise kids, protect peace, and standards/values and not compromise on those. Doing so protects peace and prevents mediocrity.

  • Strengthening perspective takes daily work but shifts it from a “prison” to a “power.” The reader is asked to identify areas of weakness and strengthen perspective over time.

  • The chapter introduces the “Fountain of Youth” - four forces of intentionality, creativity, mobility, and spirituality that propel soul happiness when engaged with daily. These are explored further in the full chapter.

  • Realizing that you are more than just your physical body can bring a sense of inner peace. Focusing on your non-physical essence and qualities like your spirit, mind, values etc. rather than just the physical can be soothing.

  • This realization stems from understanding that while the physical body is temporary, aspects of ourselves like our purpose, lessons we share with others, and the impact we make continue even after death. When the author’s mother passed away, finding comfort in her non-physical gifts like love and life lessons rather than physical possessions helped with the grieving process.

  • Accepting that our purpose lives on after death through those we influence can multiply our positive impact and give our lives deeper meaning beyond physical possessions or achievements which are fleeting. Coming to terms with this perspective brought the author inner peace during times of loss.

The passage discusses the importance of mobility and movement for both physical and mental well-being. It talks about how movement is not just physical but also involves the mind and spirit. Getting into a “mobility mindset” through activities like going to the gym allows one to change environments, awaken the mind and soul, and shift perspective towards clarity and peace. Even limited movement through stretching and meditation can help release tension in the body and reconnect one to their inner self.

The key message is to make intentional moments for mindful movement and mobility part of one’s daily routine, even if just for a few minutes. This includes reflecting on thoughts, feelings and sensations while moving gently or meditating. Approaching it with playfulness and curiosity can help explore new forms of movement and challenge oneself. Mindful movement provides benefits beyond physical like gaining self-awareness and tapping into creativity through connecting body, mind and spirit. Making mobility a priority allows one to nurture overall well-being and potential.

  • The passage discusses the importance of internal alignment, which is being in harmony with one’s inner self and intuitive guidance. This allows one to make decisions that are personally fulfilling rather than seeking external validation.

  • Some areas the author focuses on for internal alignment are intentionality, creativity, mobility, and spirituality. strategies are suggested for strengthening each area on a daily basis.

  • Examples are given of times when the author succeeded by trusting his internal guidance even when externally it did not make sense, such as leaving his NFL career for public speaking.

  • Betting on oneself and internal alignment is recommended rather than always seeking external validation or approval.

  • Specific internal strategies mentioned include prayer, meditation, walks, breathwork, and asking one’s soul for guidance to stay aligned.

As for daily happiness, simple practices suggested could be gratitude journaling, spending time in nature, acts of kindness, nourishing relationships, creative hobbies, laughter, pets, and disengaging from toxicity/news. Focusing on the present moment also enhances happiness.

  • The author suggests 3 strategies for developing internal alignment: 1) daily prayer for wisdom and discernment, 2) practicing reflection and learning from past decisions, and 3) checking-in on one’s level of inner peace when making decisions.

  • Journaling is recommended as a tool to help apply these strategies, such as writing down pros/cons of decisions and tracking one’s peace level before and after.

  • It takes time and practice to tune out external pressures and listen to one’s inner voice. Developing patience is important.

  • The analogy of gardening is used - it takes patience to plant seeds and trust in the process as fruits are harvested later, not immediately.

  • Having faith that one’s dreams will come to fruition even when unseen helps sustain the journey through challenges over time.

  • Consistency, discipline and finding fulfillment in the process rather than outcomes helps develop endurance to see things through to completion.

  • The strategies are meant to help achieve internal alignment and make decisions from a place of inner peace and wisdom gained from reflection on past lessons.

Here are some specific ways I could internally align and practice living in fulfillment:

  • Make a list of what/who matters most to me and rate how I spend my time on each on a scale of 1-3. Review this regularly and adjust my schedule as needed.

  • Set aside dedicated time each day/week to spend quality time with loved ones, doing activities we enjoy together like cooking, games, outdoor activities, etc.

  • Practice gratitude daily by reflecting on the people and blessings in my life, especially during challenging times.

  • Make faith, spiritual growth and service a priority through regular prayer/meditation, scripture study, attending services or acts of service.

  • Pursue hobbies and activities that feed my soul like art, music, being in nature, volunteering causes I care about.

  • Say “no” to extra obligations that take away from my priorities and self-care without adding value.

  • Have regular check-ins with myself to ensure my schedule and choices are still aligned with living according to my deepest values and what really matters most. Adjust as needed.

  • Setting boundaries is important for protecting your peace and reducing stress. Boundaries should act as bridges rather than walls, allowing for healthier relationships.

  • Disconnecting from phones, social media, etc. regularly is vital to manage energy levels. Being mindful of the environments you expose yourself to can impact your peace.

  • Understanding your self-worth is essential. Do not settle for less than you deserve in relationships or situations that drain you. Make room for people and things that uplift you.

  • Taking care of your physical, mental and emotional well-being through practices like exercise, meditation, reflection is necessary self-care. Prioritizing rest is not selfish.

  • Contributing to others and causes you care about in an intentional way provides fulfillment and purpose. Small daily acts of kindness can make a positive impact.

  • Living according to your priorities and values centered around what/who matter most leads to a fulfilling life. Revisiting your definition of “enough” helps maintain peace.

  • This is not the end, but a new beginning to keep protecting your peace going forward through maintaining healthy boundaries, focusing on self-care, and finding fulfillment in meaningful relationships and contributions.

  • The passages discuss protecting one’s mind, soul, and vision. Key principles discussed include trusting one’s vision, guarding one’s focus, shifting perspective, simplifying happiness, aligning internally, and living in fulfillment.

  • Letting go of goals and destinations and instead focusing on the journey/process is recommended. Using a daily routine and checklist can help with this.

  • Resistance and struggle are discussed as opportunities to build strength. Moments that tried to break a person instead become what built them up. Everyone is built to handle adversity and learn from difficult seasons.

  • Perfectionism brings unnecessary pressure, while purposeful pressure from challenges helps one grow. It’s important to separate self-imposed pressure from the natural pressures of growth and progress.

  • In facing obstacles, one should remember that they are built for challenges and trials. Difficult times in the past prove what one is capable of handling. With the right mindset, pressure can be seen as opportunities rather than burdens.

In summary, the key messages are about protecting one’s inner state through principles like vision, focus and perspective; focusing on growth through daily habits rather than destinations; and developing a strength-building mindset in the face of obstacles and struggle.

  • Have “humble confidence” - don’t be full of yourself but fully love yourself. This is what the world needs.

  • Let go of thinking your circumstances are unfavorable. Understand that you are highly favored and can’t lose.

  • You are built for what you are going through. You may have forgotten this, or who you are. It’s time to remind yourself once again.

  • Your next chapter will be your greatest yet. Everything you go through will soon turn into everything you made it through.

  • It all starts with you. Maintain your peace and remember the mantra: I am Peace, I am Love, I am Healing, I am Free, I am Me.

  • You are meant to have peace and protect it. Don’t forget that you are built for it. Keep practicing maintaining your peace. Share insights on social media to continue connecting and inspiring others.

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About Matheus Puppe