BOOK LINK:
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The introduction starts with an anecdote about Stoney Portis, a West Point cadet who worked with the author to build his mental skills and confidence as a powerlifter. Portis later applied these skills in combat in Afghanistan.
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The author explains that confidence enables peak performance in any competitive arena by allowing you to fully access your abilities without hesitation or self-doubt.
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Confidence is critical for success in any field, not just sports. The author aims to provide insights and a process for building, protecting, and applying confidence in your own life.
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Key themes that will be explored include accepting what you can’t change, constructing positive thinking, envisioning your future, protecting confidence daily, deciding to be different, entering arenas with confidence, playing confidently start to finish, and reflecting on progress.
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The book draws on the author’s experience working with elite athletes and leaders to break down the specifics of building confidence in yourself.
In summary, the introduction establishes the importance of confidence for peak performance and provides an overview of the key ideas and themes that will be covered in the book. The aim is to provide practical insights and a process that anyone can use to build greater confidence in their own life and work.
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Stoney Portis demonstrated the importance of “finding your zone” and achieving “First Victory” even in extremely difficult situations. When his outpost came under Taliban attack, he used affirmations, controlled his breathing, and visualized his actions to stay confident and focused.
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There are misconceptions about confidence - that it makes you arrogant, complacent, or both. But you can have inner confidence while being outwardly humble. Drew Brees is given as an example.
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Typical definitions of confidence like “believing in yourself” are too vague. More useful is defining confidence as the “absolute belief that you can successfully perform a specific task or skill now.”
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Confidence comes from preparation. By diligently preparing, you build real ability, skill, and experience. This leads to justifiable, authentic confidence.
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Confidence is task-specific. You may be confident in one area but not another. General self-confidence or self-esteem is not the same as task confidence.
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Confidence requires focus on the task, not on yourself. It’s about what you can do, not how you feel.
The key is to build confidence through preparation for specific tasks, while maintaining humility and avoiding arrogance. This allows you to perform at your highest levels.
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Popular definitions of confidence focus on feeling good about yourself, but are not useful for performers. Real confidence comes from executing skills unconsciously, without thinking.
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Confidence is being certain of your abilities so you can perform skills automatically, without conscious thought or judgment.
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Confidence requires both competence (skills developed through practice) and certainty in those skills. Doubt undermines performance.
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Confidence is not an inherited trait - it is learned through experience. Jill Bakken exemplifies building confidence through training despite lacking obvious qualifications.
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Confidence comes from retaining positive experiences and learning from negative ones through constructive thinking. It is not bravado or arrogance.
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Confidence is situational - it depends on specific skills and circumstances. Overconfidence in the wrong situations leads to failure.
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Confidence requires balance - some self-doubt allows improvement, too much ruins performance. Appropriate confidence depends on the situation.
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To build real confidence, focus on preparation and competence. Constructive thinking retains positives and releases negatives. Confidence follows competence.
The key is that true confidence comes from preparation and constructive thinking, not bravado. It allows unconscious skill execution without self-doubt or judgment during performance. Confidence is built through experience and releasing negatives, not inherited.
Here are the key points:
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Confidence can be developed through practice, like any other skill. Jill Bakken built her confidence over 14 months of focused effort.
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Confidence is situation-specific. You can be confident in some areas but not others. You can develop confidence in any specific aspect of life.
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Maintaining confidence requires consistent effort. It’s an ongoing process, not something achieved once and for all.
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Success does not automatically build confidence. You have to consciously focus on the positives and let success experiences boost your confidence. Michael Strahan struggled with confidence despite his NFL success due to focusing on negatives.
In summary, confidence is built through deliberate effort over time, focusing on the positives, and not resting on one’s laurels. It takes continual nurturing as setbacks are inevitable. But the ability to develop confidence in any area through practice means that high levels of confidence are available to anyone willing to put in the work.
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Confidence is not necessarily destroyed by mistakes, failures, and negative feedback. How you respond to these setbacks determines their impact.
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You can choose to view mistakes as learning opportunities rather than confidence crushers. Failures can be seen as isolated incidents rather than definitive measures of your ability.
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Negative feedback can be taken as a challenge to improve rather than something that undermines your confidence.
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Your confidence is largely based on your thoughts and interpretation of events, not the events themselves. By selectively focusing on past successes and progress, you can maintain confidence even in the face of setbacks.
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Your confidence is like a psychological “bank account” that rises and falls based on what thoughts and memories you deposit or withdraw. Replaying past mistakes withdraws confidence, while envisioning future success deposits confidence.
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You have the power to take command of your thoughts and manage your confidence level. This involves being intentional about what experiences you mentally retain versus release.
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Maintaining confidence in challenging situations is an ongoing choice about your attitude and thought patterns. With the right mental approach, confidence can endure despite external circumstances.
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Frankl believed that one’s attitude is a constantly changing result of all of one’s thoughts. Every moment offers the chance to make a decision that determines whether you submit to or resist negative forces.
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The following chapters explore and provide guidance on exercising this “last human freedom” - the ability to choose our attitude regardless of circumstances.
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Chapter 1 explains how to build confidence by accepting 4 pillars or realities about human performance that we cannot change:
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The mind-body connection is real - thoughts influence feelings which influence physical state and performance.
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Human imperfection - we all make mistakes.
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The autonomic nervous system responds to stressors.
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Continued practice leads to delayed returns - persistency pays off eventually.
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Accepting these 4 pillars provides a serene mental foundation from which to build confidence and pursue excellence. The alternative is stagnation and mediocrity.
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The mind-body connection constantly enhances or degrades performance through a cycle of thoughts, feelings, physical state, execution, and further thoughts. Managing thoughts is key.
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Accepting these unchangeable realities is the First Victory that builds confidence and mental strength.
Here are the key points about dealing with inevitable human imperfection:
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Striving for perfection is good, but demanding perfection is destructive. Pursue excellence with a “let’s see how great I can do” attitude, but don’t beat yourself up when you fall short.
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Be curious about your imperfections rather than frustrated. Mistakes are valuable sources of information - ask yourself what they are telling you and what you can do differently next time.
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The highest achievers have moderate levels of perfectionism. Too much perfectionism leads to anxiety and reduced performance.
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Don’t let negative reactions to imperfection drain your confidence. Control those reactions, learn from mistakes, and move on.
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No one is perfect. Accept that you, your colleagues, and competitors will all make mistakes. It’s your response to imperfection that matters most.
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Imperfections viewed with detachment become friendly stepping stones to success. Curiosity and control, not frustration, are the keys.
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Greg Louganis won 5 Olympic medals in diving in the 1980s. He describes trying to hit the “sweet spot” on the diving board, but accepts that he won’t always hit it perfectly. He has to “let go of perfectionism” and stay relaxed to perform great dives even if his takeoff isn’t perfect.
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When you don’t hit the “sweet spot” in your work, do you get frustrated or do you relax and move on? Accepting imperfection helps.
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When preparing for a performance, physical signs of arousal like a racing heart and butterflies are not a sign something is wrong. They are your body’s natural way of energizing you to perform your best through adrenaline and neural activation.
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Many people misunderstand this arousal as nervousness. But it is your body being an ally, giving you energy and focus. Reframe it as excitement and your body helping you succeed.
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If you previously associated arousal with failure when learning a skill, you can change that narrative. The biology underlying both nervousness and excitement is the same - it’s your body mobilizing energy to deal with uncertainty.
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Our nervousness and arousal before an important event is an evolutionary survival mechanism, not something “abnormal” that should make us uncomfortable.
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How we interpret that arousal determines whether we feel anxious or excited. We can choose to reframe it as beneficial excitement rather than debilitating anxiety.
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Experienced performers still get nervous before important events - it’s a natural biological response. We should embrace this nervous energy rather than try to eliminate it.
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The returns from practice are uneven - long plateaus are interrupted by bursts of improvement. This requires patience. Improvement is happening beneath the surface even if we can’t yet see it.
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The longer we practice, the longer the plateaus and smaller the improvements. But change is still occurring in our nervous system, building up to a breakthrough.
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We must persist through the plateaus, trusting the process. Progress will come if we stay patient and keep working. The nervous system adapts gradually.
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Victory comes from accepting these realities - inconsistent returns, delayed gains - and persisting anyway. If we do this better than others, we create an advantage.
Here’s a summary of the key points from the two chapters:
Chapter One:
- Deliberate practice leads to improvements, but those improvements happen slowly and in unpredictable spurts. Progress is not linear.
- Being stuck on a “plateau” while practicing is actually a critical time when important neurological changes like myelin formation are happening to strengthen neural pathways, even if outward improvements are not yet visible.
- Accepting plateaus as part of the improvement process allows you to stay motivated and focused. Value the plateau rather than just seeking breakthroughs.
Chapter Two:
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Having an effective mental filter is crucial for building confidence and optimism.
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The filter allows you to focus on thoughts and memories that energize and motivate you, while screening out those that create self-doubt, worry, and negativity.
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Staying focused on even small chances of success, as Lloyd in Dumb and Dumber did, fuels optimism and persistence.
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Curating your mental bank account by selectively depositing positive memories builds confidence to pursue goals and handle challenges.
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Your mental filter determines which experiences and memories you focus on. By choosing to focus on past successes and future achievements, you can build confidence.
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Great athletes like Tony Gwynn watched video replays of their good at-bats and deleted footage of mistakes. Focusing only on the positives helped him succeed.
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Even in dire circumstances, you can choose to have a positive filter. John Fernandez, who lost his legs in combat, focused on having a great life rather than self-pity.
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You already have a filter operating. It’s screening in some thoughts and screening out others. Make sure it’s letting in the constructive thoughts that build you up.
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Your filter operates on the past, present, and future. The key is to think about performing well and succeeding whenever you think about your chosen field.
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You have the power to choose your thoughts and attitude. Use this to your advantage by filtering in confidence-building memories and visions of future success.
Here is a summary of the key points from the passage:
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The first section discusses mining your memories for positive experiences from your past in your chosen field. It suggests making a “Top Ten” list of your best moments and accomplishments to build confidence.
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The next section explains the importance of selective thinking and deliberately building up your mental “bank account” of positive memories over time through exercises like the Top Ten list.
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It uses an extended metaphor of transferring a strong, healthy fish to a bigger pond to illustrate how past accomplishments still matter even if you are now facing tougher competition.
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The last section introduces the idea of an “E-S-P” exercise - reflecting each day on positive Experiences, Successes, and Progress - to make daily deposits into your mental bank account of confidence-building memories.
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The key idea is that consistently identifying positives from your past and present builds the confidence needed to succeed in the future in your chosen field.
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Reflect daily on your efforts, accomplishments, and progress. Identify specific examples of when you gave good effort, achieved success, and made progress. Write these down in a journal.
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This daily reflection helps you construct positive memories and feelings of pride and accomplishment. These become mental deposits that build your confidence over time.
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Look at each activity in your day - practice, work, classes - as opportunities to reflect after completing. Do an “Immediate Progress Review” (IPR) to identify the highlight or best moment from that activity. Hold that positive memory as you transition to the next activity.
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Making many small reflections and positive memory deposits throughout your day is powerful. It builds your confidence much faster than just one reflection at the end.
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Don’t let opportunities for reflection and positive memory deposits slip by. Carefully review each activity to find examples of effort, success and progress, even small ones. This prevents stagnation and lost opportunities to build confidence.
The key is frequent, specific reflection on accomplishments, no matter how minor. This mindset of constructing positive memories steadily builds your mental confidence over time.
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Alessandra Ross was an Olympic hopeful training for the 800m race. Despite having a PR of only 2:02, she repeatedly told herself “I run a 1:56 800” to visualize and manifest her goal time.
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Our present thoughts and self-talk are crucially important in shaping our confidence and achievements. The beliefs we hold about our capabilities act as walls constraining us or doors opening us to new possibilities.
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The author illustrates this using the example of West Point cadets doing the grueling Indoor Obstacle Course Test. Their self-talk during the event has a big impact on their performance.
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We can extend the mental filtering process into present moments by routinely making positive self-statements consistent with our desired performance and goals. This is a key step in winning our “First Victory.”
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Alessandra used positive visualization and self-talk to improve her mindset and achieve her ambitious goal, making the Olympic team and running 1:56. Constructive thinking in the present is powerful.
The key ideas are the immense power of present thoughts/self-talk in shaping achievement, the need to filter these thoughts constructively, and Alessandra’s story illustrating how disciplined positive self-talk allowed her to achieve Olympic goals.
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The “self-fulfilling prophecy” concept refers to how one’s beliefs or expectations about a situation can lead to outcomes that confirm those beliefs, whether positive or negative.
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Cadets with prior experience in gymnastics, tumbling, etc. tended to view the military movement class positively as a “big playground” and fun challenge. This led them to put in more effort and get better grades.
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Cadets without that experience tended to view the class negatively as something they weren’t suited for and would “suck at.” This led them to put in less effort and get poorer grades, confirming their initial belief.
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Our thoughts and beliefs act as self-fulfilling prophecies, shaping our behaviors and effort levels in situations, which then lead to outcomes that match those initial beliefs.
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This operates across many areas - school, sports, work, relationships. Believing you will succeed versus fail at something impacts the effort you give it and ultimate outcome.
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The concept has been recognized throughout history in philosophy, religion, literature, and psychology research. Affirming self-worth versus doubting it shapes motivation, perseverance, and performance.
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Being aware of our self-talk and ensuring it is positive and energizing rather than negative and limiting is key to avoiding self-fulfilling prophecies that inhibit us.
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Hotel room attendants who were taught to think of their work as good exercise lowered their systolic blood pressure by 10 points in a month, while a control group doing the same work did not. This demonstrates the power of mindset on health.
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The self-fulfilling prophecy can work for or against you based on the stories you tell yourself. Affirming desired outcomes and skills in the present tense makes deposits in your mental bank account and builds confidence.
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Effective affirmations are personal (using “I”), positive (stating what you want more of), and in the present tense. They affirm skills you have now and outcomes you want to achieve.
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Alessandra Ross, an Olympic hopeful, affirmed “I run a 1:56 800m” to reinforce her goal time, supporting it with affirmations of her current abilities. Affirming a big goal while building current skills gives the best chance of achievement.
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Make frequent mental deposits through affirmations to build confidence and make the self-fulfilling prophecy work for you. Affirm desired outcomes and the component abilities needed to achieve them.
Here are some sample affirmations for an athlete pursuing excellence:
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I am focused and determined during my training sessions. Each rep and set builds my strength and stamina.
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I fuel my body with nourishing foods that provide energy and aid my recovery.
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I am confident in my preparation. I walk onto the field/court ready to compete at my highest level.
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My technique and form are dialed in. I execute each motion with precision.
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I maintain composure under pressure. I thrive in intense game situations.
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I bounce back from mistakes quickly. I focus forward on the next play.
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I trust my abilities fully. My skills shine when it matters most.
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I envision victory and feel the joy of success. My hard work pays off.
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I am at peace on game day, trusting my preparation. I play loose, focused, and determined.
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I compete with passion and positivity. My love of the game drives me.
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I focus only on what I can control - my effort, attitude, and execution. The rest takes care of itself.
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Dan Jansen, an Olympic speed skater, used a “Notebook Nightcap” routine to make thousands of positive affirmations in his mental bank account leading up to the 1994 Olympics. This helped promote confidence instead of worry.
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The “Open Doorway” exercise involves repeating your key affirmations every time you walk through a doorway, making countless deposits in your mental account daily.
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Alessandra Ross used the Open Doorway technique to affirm “I run a 1:56 800m” leading up to the 2000 Olympics. Though she didn’t achieve that exact time, the practice built her confidence and helped her set personal bests and make the Olympic team.
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After retiring from track, Ross became an orthopedic surgeon in the Army, using affirmations to build the confidence needed in that male-dominated field. She was deployed to Afghanistan in 2011, drawing on the mental skills built up over her career.
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Though many suffer post-traumatic stress from war, Ross experienced post-traumatic growth, coming back with an enhanced appreciation of life. She continues to empower others with the mindset techniques she practiced as an athlete.
Here are the key points from the chapter on building your mental bank account through envisioning your ideal future:
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Visualizing your desired future in vivid detail can be a powerful way to motivate yourself and take action in the present moment. Seeing your future ideal self makes it feel more real and attainable.
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Create detailed mental pictures and movies of your envisioned future - how you look, feel, where you are, who you’re with, etc. Make it as vivid as possible.
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Practice this regularly, especially when you need an extra boost of motivation. Visualize the end result you’re working towards.
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Writing your vision down in words can further reinforce it. Describe your ideal scenarios across all areas of life.
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Share your vision with supportive others. Verbalizing it helps solidify it and makes it feel more concrete.
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Take inspired action after visualizing. Imagine you’re your future self already living the envisioned life. What would that person do next? Then go do it.
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Envisioning is not just wishful thinking - it’s a way to crystallize your goals and desires to motivate real progress. Combine it with planning and persistence.
The key is to make your vision of the future compelling enough that it pulls you forward into action. Vividly imagining your ideal self makes it begin to feel real.
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Envisioning is the deliberate use of imagination to create a multisensory experience of a desired future event.
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Imagination has real physical effects on the body - it activates neural pathways and can stimulate changes in systems, organs, muscles, etc.
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Athletes and other performers have long used visualization techniques to prepare mentally, though often without understanding the full benefits.
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Recent research with brain imaging has shown how powerful imagination can be in activating neural networks when used properly.
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Vividly imagining an experience engages many of the same neural pathways as actually doing it.
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Envisioning builds confidence by programming the neural networks involved in desired behaviors and performances.
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Examples are given of a military commander, athlete, and entrepreneur using envisioning to imagine achieving future goals.
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The proper use of imagination through envisioning is a mental skill that can help win the “First Victory” of building confidence to perform at peak levels.
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Mental imagery activates the same neural pathways and brain regions as actual movement and experience. Imagining a skill or scenario recruits the motor cortex and creates electrical patterns similar to those during real execution.
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Mental imagery has been shown to improve motor skills like playing the piano or boxing combinations. It also affects physiological processes like immune function, heart rate, etc.
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Vividly picturing yourself accomplishing a goal can alter your self-image and create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Positive imagery boosts confidence while negative imagery undermines it.
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Creating a detailed mental picture of succeeding at a new level of competition or responsibility builds certainty and prevents fear and doubt from interfering with your capabilities.
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Mental imagery produces a “déjà vu” feeling that allows you to approach a daunting new scenario with comfort and familiarity. It is a tool elite performers use to translate skills to higher levels of achievement.
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In summary, mental imagery is a powerful way to enhance skills, influence physiology, build confidence, and create breakthroughs by priming your mind and body as if you have already succeeded.
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The passage describes techniques for using vivid mental imagery and envisioning to prepare for and achieve breakthrough performances.
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It suggests imagining a desired future event in full sensory detail, as if you are the director of a movie scene. See the location, surroundings, equipment, people involved, etc. Hear the sounds, feel the environment and objects.
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Practice controlling the images, making them positive scenes of success. If any negative images occur, stop them and reset to the positive. The more senses engaged and details included, the more neural pathways activated.
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Do warm-up exercises imagining familiar objects, rotating and manipulating them. Then practice with objects from your field.
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Mentally rehearse and improve a specific skill you’ll need, seeing yourself execute it perfectly. Make it multisensory.
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Finally, envision the entire breakthrough performance, already having done it successfully. Feel the confidence and certainty. This primes you for the actual event.
The key is using vivid, controlled mental imagery to strengthen neural pathways for success and feel like you’ve already done it. This builds confidence and readiness to perform at your best when the opportunity comes.
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Envisioning a skill or task activates the neural pathways in your brain and body as if you were actually performing the action. This can lead to improved performance.
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Jerry Ingalls used regular envisioning to dramatically improve his hammer throw skills, getting hundreds of perfect mental reps. Consistency is key.
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Envision from an internal perspective (first person point of view) to maximize neural activation. This creates greater sensation of body movement and brings emotion into the experience.
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Envision with vivid sensory details - sights, sounds, physical feelings. Also dial up the emotional intensity, like you would experience in actual performance. This makes it more real to the nervous system.
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Take 15 minutes a day to get quality mental reps of an important skill or behavior. With consistency, this can lead to skill improvements without physical exertion.
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Visualization and mental imagery can help you prepare for and achieve your goals.
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Choose a specific skill or achievement you want to improve. Imagine the setting and your starting position in vivid sensory detail.
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Mentally rehearse executing the skill flawlessly, feeling the motions and sensations. Do several high-quality repetitions in your mind.
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Envision achieving a breakthrough performance. Pick a big dream or goal that excites you. Imagine the location in vivid detail.
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Mentally experience key moments of your performance in order. Control the imagery and feel genuine emotions as if you are really there.
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Tennis star Bianca Andreescu and cadet Dan Browne used visualization to prepare for upset victories in major events.
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Follow the step-by-step blueprint to visualize your own dream achievement. With practice, you can gain confidence and “pre-experience” your success.
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Imagine a private room that is your personal mental practice space where you can visualize skill improvement and breakthrough performances. Make it a safe, comfortable haven decorated however you want.
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Walk through this room in your mind and settle into a comfortable chair. This is where you will mentally rehearse your performance.
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Imagine arriving at the location where your performance will take place. Envision the sights, sounds, and feelings in detail.
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Mentally go through your pre-performance routine - warm up, review materials, get focused.
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Visualize starting strong and hitting key moments of your performance successfully. See, hear, and feel yourself performing flawlessly.
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Imagine finishing strong and then celebrating your breakthrough performance. Let yourself feel the validation and fulfillment.
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Repeat this visualization routine regularly so your nervous system learns the patterns and is primed for your actual performance.
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Also prepare mentally for opponents and challenges that may try to prevent your breakthrough. Visualize winning against those forces.
Here is a summary of the main points:
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The “Flat Tire” drill involves envisioning potential problems or setbacks that could occur during an important performance, and mentally rehearsing constructive responses to overcome them.
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The author provides the example of a driver encountering a flat tire on a dark, rainy night in an unfamiliar area. If the driver has changed a tire on that car before, the process will go more smoothly than if it’s their first time dealing with the situation.
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Athletes like hammer thrower Jerry Ingalls and wrestler Phil Simpson used Flat Tire drills to prepare for unexpected difficulties in major competitions. By envisioning responses to potential problems ahead of time, they were able to handle issues that came up with composure.
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To do the Flat Tire drill, make a list of 3 potential problems that could happen in an upcoming performance. Envision each scenario in detail, including the worry it might cause. Then envision yourself responding constructively, overcoming the problem, and continuing your successful performance. This mental rehearsal builds confidence to handle unexpected hurdles.
Here is a summary of the key points from Chapter 5:
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Your confidence and self-image as a performer face threats daily, from self-doubt, criticism, hecklers, rivals, etc. You need to actively defend against these threats.
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Use “locks” - pre-planned, memorized self-statements to reinforce your abilities and shut down self-doubt. Have 3-5 prepared to use when needed.
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Use “alarms” - act quickly when a threat emerges to prevent it from escalating. Verbally reject unjust criticism. Walk away from hecklers.
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Deploy “antitheft devices” - avoid situations/people likely to attack your confidence. Limit time on social media. Stay away from hostile competitors before a performance.
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When you face unfair criticism, remember: the critic’s opinion does not determine your self-worth. Their words say more about them than you.
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View rivals as partners who make you better, not enemies out to undermine you. Avoid envy and the zero-sum mentality.
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For extreme threats, temporarily retreat from the situation. Limit exposure. Surround yourself with positive people who build you up.
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The ability to insulate your self-confidence and not internalize attacks is a critical mental skill for any performer. Mastering it allows you to weather any storm.
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Mario used the techniques he learned, like writing affirmations and taking deep breaths, to regain confidence and resolve problems at work, earning praise from a senior colleague.
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When unexpectedly asked to lead a meeting with an ex-CEO, Mario again used his techniques like reviewing his affirmations and visualizing success. This allowed him to perform confidently instead of being anxious.
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Mario’s experience shows that even after building confidence, you’ll inevitably encounter setbacks. The key is to protect your mental state using “safeguards” so these setbacks don’t drain your confidence.
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The first safeguard is maintaining a constructive attitude about errors and setbacks using 3 techniques:
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View them as temporary, not a pattern.
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View them as limited to that situation, not infecting everything.
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View them as useful information on what to improve.
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This “rationalizing” of failures protects your confidence and prevents doubts while still allowing you to learn from mistakes.
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Treat your mistakes and imperfections as temporary - acknowledge them, but don’t let yourself think they will keep happening over and over.
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Treat your mistakes as limited in scope - a mistake in one situation does not mean your whole day or performance overall is ruined. Cordon off the mistake and keep your confidence up in other areas.
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Treat your mistakes as nonrepresentative of yourself - don’t let a mistake define who you are. Externalize it by thinking “that’s not me, that was just a fluke.” Maintain your sense of self-worth.
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These methods protect your confidence against the traps of “here I go again,” “my whole day is ruined,” and “I’m just not good enough.” They are supported by research on explanatory styles and optimism.
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Pessimists tend to explain negative events as permanent, pervasive, and personal. Optimists explain them as temporary, limited, and external. Studies show this explanatory style affects persistence and performance.
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In summary, protect your confidence after mistakes by putting them in a limited box - they were temporary, limited to one situation, and not representative of you. Maintain your sense of self-worth.
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In a study at West Point, cadets who explained bad events as temporary, limited, and non-representative (optimistic explanatory style) were more likely to make it through the challenging first year than cadets who viewed bad events as permanent, pervasive, and personal (pessimistic explanatory style).
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You can protect your mental confidence by viewing inevitable setbacks as temporary, limited, and not representative of you. Don’t let negative thoughts undermine you.
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To defeat negative thoughts, first acknowledge them, then silence them by firmly saying “stop,” and finally replace them with positive thoughts, memories, or affirmations. Getting in the last word against your negative thoughts will help you win small victories and maintain confidence.
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With practice, you can counterattack any self-doubts or worries using this three-step process of acknowledging, silencing, and replacing the negative thoughts. Stay vigilant against these “internal enemies” that can attack your confidence.
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The practice of “getting in the last word” with oneself by replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk has been shown to be highly effective for improving performance and managing stress. This technique from cognitive therapy was pioneered in the 1970s.
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Research has confirmed the benefits of positive self-talk for enhancing performance in sports, public speaking, and other skills. A 2011 meta-analysis confirmed it is an effective strategy.
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Journalist Alex Hutchinson initially dismissed this technique but after 20 years researching human performance, he realized it could have improved his running career by 18% if he had used it.
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A hockey player’s career floundered because he passively listened to his negative self-talk rather than talking back to it. Getting in the last word with constructive self-talk is a learnable mental skill.
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The author urges practicing this technique regularly as it can lead to significant improvements in performance, confidence, and managing stress or adversity. Replacing negative thoughts with empowering ones puts individuals more in charge of their mental state.
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Negative self-talk is a powerful confidence thief that many people struggle with.
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The myth that truly confident people never have negative thoughts is false - even champions like LeBron James and Michael Phelps have negative self-talk. The key is how they respond to it.
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To boost confidence, you need to acknowledge negative thoughts, silence them, and replace them with positive thoughts - this is called “Getting in the Last Word.”
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You’ll have to keep doing this over and over - negative thoughts will keep popping up. But small victories add up.
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Self-doubt often attacks our biggest insecurities. Recognize when this is happening and don’t listen to those voices.
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The “Shooter’s Mentality” means gaining confidence from setbacks. Use selective amnesia to forget mistakes, and selective expectations to keep confidence up despite imperfect performance. This helps you continually improve.
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The “Shooter’s Mentality” consists of two habits of thought that may seem contradictory but can combine to bring success:
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Seeing any mistake or setback as bringing you closer to success, not further from it.
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Seeing any achievement as the start of more achievements, not a fluke.
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In this mentality, misses are seen as signals of impending fortune, while successes are seen as permanent and opening the door to more successes.
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Examples of people with this mentality are Stephen Curry, Thomas Edison, and Tiger Woods.
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Stuart Anderson exemplified this mentality in basketball by becoming more confident with each missed shot, believing he was “due” to make the next one.
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This mentality creates a supportive “reality” that may not be logical but allows talents and skills to thrive.
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Having this sense of certainty, however illogical, gives the best chance of success by bringing out your best.
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It doesn’t guarantee success but helps perform well between inevitable imperfections.
In summary, the Shooter’s Mentality of seeing setbacks as precursors to success and achievements as open doors builds confidence and certainty needed for peak performance.
Here is a summary of the key points from Chapter 6:
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The previous chapters covered building confidence through managing memories, self-talk, envisioning the future, and coping with setbacks. This builds the mental bank account for winning the First Victory of decisiveness.
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However, mainstream society is ambivalent about high confidence. The socialization process encourages conformity rather than excelling.
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To go beyond this, the chapter examines the thinking of Deion Sanders through a case study. Despite social pressures, Sanders built an impressive mental bank account and separated himself from competitors.
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Five key statements by Sanders illustrate his mindset: 1) “I believe I’m better than you,” 2) “I will outplay you on that specific play,” 3) “It’s mine! It’s for me!” about catching the ball, 4) “I am the best,” and 5) “God gave me those skills.”
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This thinking is very different from mainstream beliefs about modesty and conformity. Sanders embraced constructive new beliefs to keep winning his First Victory.
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The chapter encourages examining our own assumptions and beliefs to see if they encourage overanalysis rather than decisiveness. We can choose new beliefs to build the mental bank account needed to consistently win the First Victory.
Here are the key points from the passage about Deion Sanders:
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Sanders believed he was better than any opponent he faced. This conviction allowed him to perform without hesitation.
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Sanders focused on winning each individual play rather than dwelling on past failures.
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Sanders viewed uncertain situations, like a pass in the air, as meant to turn out in his favor.
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Rather than feeling pressure to elevate his game, Sanders believed opponents had to raise their game to his level.
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Sanders projected confidence and modeled resilience, though his concern may have been more for his own success than that of his team.
Overall, the passage examines Sanders’s mentality and how his self-belief, selective memory, and shifting of pressure to opponents contributed to his success on the field. The key takeaways are about cultivating an attitude of confidence and certainty in one’s own abilities.
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Having genuine confidence and projecting an aura of optimism and mental resilience helps you and your teammates perform better. Look to role models like Deion Sanders.
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Unconventional, constructive thinking like “the ball was meant to come to me” can build confidence needed to succeed in pressure situations, as it did for NHL player Danny Brière.
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This type of thinking goes against what society and schools typically teach - to fit in comfortably rather than stand out.
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Common limiting beliefs taught in school can erode confidence, like dwelling on past failures, being your own harshest critic, and relying solely on logic.
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Resist those limiting beliefs privately in your mind to win victories. Save self-criticism for the right moments. Don’t let logic dictate you can’t succeed if you failed before.
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The takeaway: Decide to think differently than what you’ve been taught - with optimism, confidence in yourself, envisioning success. That unconventional thinking can lead to victories.
Here are 7 alternative beliefs to counter limiting beliefs and build confidence:
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Remember past successes - this activates positive emotions and motivation.
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Be your own best friend - give yourself unconditional support and compassion.
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Embrace creativity - don’t just be logical, use your imagination.
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Look inward, not just outward - reflect on your own thinking rather than seeking more information.
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Believe in yourself now - don’t put off confidence until you think you’re “good enough.”
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Don’t worship experts and winners - compare yourself only to your own potential.
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Mistakes are inevitable - don’t let fear of failure paralyze you. Stay assertive and flow naturally.
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Be your own best friend by practicing self-compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness instead of constant self-criticism. Treat yourself as you would a close friend.
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Use both logic and creative fantasy to envision the reality you want to create, not just what seems realistic based on current circumstances. Don’t limit yourself.
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Identify 1-2 key skills or strengths and focus on applying them consistently rather than trying to expand your skills endlessly. Consistent excellence in a few key areas can lead to success.
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Have confidence in yourself and your abilities first, then results will follow. Beliefs drive behaviors, so believe in yourself even when facing challenges.
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Recognize that you don’t have to be perfect, just good enough to accomplish your goals. Accept both strengths and weaknesses.
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Draw motivation from others who created the lives they wanted by refusing to accept limitations or “realistic” expectations.
The main message is to have self-compassion, envision possibilities without limits, focus on core strengths, and believe in yourself first and foremost. With the right mindset and consistency, you can achieve your definition of success.
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The discussion of whether competence or confidence comes first is an ancient one, dating back to Sun Tzu’s idea of a “First Victory” in the 5th century BC.
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The author argues that an initial spark of confidence has to come first. Without some confidence, there won’t be enough motivation and drive to develop competence.
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As an example, the author cites learning to ride a bike. You have to have some confidence you can do it before you develop the actual skill, despite falls and failures along the way.
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The author has seen very competent people paralyze themselves due to lack of confidence. They convince themselves their proven skills aren’t enough for the next level.
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You never know how competent you are until you act with full confidence. Winning the First Victory allows other successes to follow.
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The media provides too much hype about opponents. See them as human and beatable, not as the hype suggests.
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Eli Manning’s approach in the Super Bowl illustrates playing to win rather than worrying about failure. Recall past successes rather than past failures.
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The alternative beliefs discussed are different from social norms, but can help you fully realize your talents rather than remain part of the crowd.
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The “First Victory” refers to performers transitioning into a confident, focused state of mind before entering an important performance situation or “arena.”
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Having an effective pre-game routine with three key steps helps performers achieve this confident mindset:
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Conducting a personal inventory/assessment (reviewing progress, achievements, affirmations to build confidence)
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Analyzing the upcoming situation (what needs to be done, competing factors, location)
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Deciding one has the necessary skills and abilities to succeed
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The First Victory happens due to consistent practice and preparation over time, not just a pre-game routine. The routine provides a final boost.
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Examples are given of athletes like Billy Mills and Kara Goucher reviewing journals and affirmations before major races to remind themselves of their progress and abilities.
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The key is developing confidence through preparation over time, then tapping into that confidence right before performance with an effective routine.
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Step one in a pre-performance routine is taking an honest inventory of your abilities, skills, and past successes. Recalling past wins and achievements builds confidence.
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Step two is assessing the situation - the task, opposing factors, and environment.
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The real ‘task’ is staying focused moment-to-moment on the process during the performance, not worrying about the outcome.
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The ‘opposition’ includes not just external competitors, but also your own emotions that could derail you. Anticipate these and have a plan to get back on track.
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Become familiar with the performance arena itself ahead of time so you feel comfortable and minimize surprises. Walk through the space and visualize yourself performing well in it.
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Thorough preparation in these areas builds certainty and allows you to fully express your abilities during the actual performance.
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Visualize yourself performing in the arena where you will compete. Envision the sights, sounds, and feel of the environment. Make the space feel comfortable and familiar.
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Decide that you have enough skill, preparation, and capability to succeed. Switch from a mindset of carefully accumulating knowledge and ability to one of confidently releasing your talent.
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Make the transition from being a methodical workhorse to an energetic racehorse. At the moment of performance, focus on simply being your best rather than on trying to get better.
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Top athletes like Michael Phelps exemplify this shift. As competition nears, they transform from laid-back to intensely focused, exuding quiet confidence in their abilities.
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Use mental techniques like visualization, affirmations, and music to make the shift from saver to spender. Imagine previous successes, remind yourself you are prepared, and use songs to get in the ideal performance state.
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The key is to enter the competitive arena with a sense of informed instinctiveness. You know you have done the work to succeed and can now unleash your skills without overthinking.
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Successful performers in high-pressure situations like athletes, surgeons, and soldiers use pre-game routines to transition from preparation to performance.
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These routines help them achieve calm, focus, and certainty before delivering in the high-stakes arena.
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The routines often involve taking stock of oneself, visualizing the situation and plan, affirming confidence in abilities, and surrendering outcomes to a higher power.
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These routines can be adapted by anyone to boost confidence before an important work task or project.
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The key is deciding you are “enough” - you have the ability and knowledge needed to succeed, regardless of doubts.
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By following a personal ritual to achieve calm and belief in yourself, you can make the pivotal transition from preparation to high-level performance.
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Once you enter your “performance arena”, follow the Statements Only (SO) Rule - refrain from asking questions and make only positive, confident statements to yourself and teammates.
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Don’t allow seemingly innocent questions like “How are you feeling?” to open the door to self-doubt. Stay focused on what you can control and do.
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Bring 100% conviction even if you feel underprepared. You won’t know your true capabilities until you fully apply yourself. Declare “I’m ready, I’m as prepared as I can be, I’m enough!”
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Acknowledge the preparation you have done, then close the notebook and commit to performing with confidence. Focus on making the best use of your strengths.
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Entering your arena with certainty about your abilities allows you to minimize interference from your conscious, analytical mind - achieving “informed instinctiveness”.
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Imagine having enough in your mental bank account to afford anything reasonably wanted. With this attitude, you control the conversation and have the final say.
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The key is deciding you have done enough preparation to be “sufficiently certain” of your abilities. Then you can perform confidently without self-doubt or interference.
The chapter explains that winning First Victories throughout a performance can be challenging. Even if you’ve built up your confidence beforehand, it’s normal to face doubts or make mistakes during the actual performance. The techniques from Chapter 5 on protecting your confidence, like treating imperfections as temporary or limited occurrences, can help you overcome these challenges. You can also silence the “screaming ninnies” of self-doubt through affirmations and adopting a “shooter’s mentality” where you view setbacks as indications you’re due for success.
To keep winning First Victories, it’s important to “lose your mind and come to your senses” - move away from overthinking and engage your senses fully in the present moment. Neuroscience shows that a “quiet mind” leads to peak performance. While rare to sustain the ideal “flow state,” getting closer is possible through building confidence beforehand and then deliberately shifting focus right before each moment of performance. An example is given of an Army Ranger student who overcame exhaustion by getting out of his head and into his senses during a key exercise.
The keys are to build up your bank account, decide you have enough, then lean on your senses versus thoughts in each moment to keep advancing with First Victories. This allows you to perform with greater economy of effort and immediacy of action.
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The passage describes how Army Ranger candidate Randall used mental techniques he learned to stay focused and confident during a high-stakes nighttime raid exercise. Though exhausted and injured, he entered a state of “utter unconscious certainty” during the raid by telling himself to “lose your mind and come to your senses.”
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The author recommends using a “preshot routine” - a consistent mental routine to build confidence before each major moment of engagement. This establishes a feeling of control and blocks out intrusive thoughts.
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The recommended 3-step routine is:
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Cue your conviction - Use a short, powerful self-statement to prompt confidence, such as “This is what I do!”
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Breathe your body - Take a focused breath to control arousal.
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Attach your attention - Lock in total sensory focus on the task.
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The cue statement brings conviction to the surface, breathing controls arousal, and attaching attention blocks out distractions. This puts you fully in the present moment.
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The statement should be positive, in the present tense, focused on process not outcome, and effective at instilling confidence. This routine can help performers stay focused amid pressure.
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Perform a 3-step pre-engagement routine before any performance to get in the optimal mindset:
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Make a powerful, confident statement to yourself like “I’ve got this” to tap into your conviction.
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Take a few deep, purposeful breaths using your diaphragm and intercostal muscles to inhale and your abdominals to exhale. This brings you into the present moment.
- Breathing exercises provide many benefits like energy, focus, and accessing your unconscious competence.
- Attach your attention to the task at hand by becoming fascinated and absorbed in what you’re about to do. This completes the transition out of your mind and into full presence.
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Tiger Woods described getting “entrenched” and letting his subconscious take over when hitting shots at the peak of his career.
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The pre-engagement routine transitions you from conscious, analytical thinking to unconscious, trusting competence. It’s a simple way to access your best performance.
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Controlling your attention and focus is a natural human capability that you can improve with practice. Despite constant distractions, you can choose where to direct your attention moment to moment.
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Many activities involve a series of engagements separated by preparation time. You can use this downtime to follow a consistent routine that ends with winning “First Victory” by directing your senses and attaching your attention just before each engagement.
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The author provides examples of football players using a “Ready-Read-React” routine before each play to build conviction and focus on their assignment. Hockey players like Danny Brière use routings on the bench between shifts to mentally reset and finish with their personal “C-B-A” routine before jumping back on the ice.
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“Looking for your slightest break” means optimistically scanning for any small opportunity or change you can take advantage of. Rather than waiting for a big break, look for the smallest openings you can jump on.
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You can choose to take back control of your attention and focus no matter how distracted modern life may seem. Consistent routines closing with C-B-A allow you to repeatedly win “First Victory” by directing your senses and attaching your attention just before each moment of action.
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C-B-A (Conviction, Breathing, Attention) is a simple routine that can help you get into an optimal performance state when pressure is high.
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Conviction involves asserting confidence in your abilities. Breathing deeply and fully relaxes the body. Attention involves focusing your senses completely on the task at hand.
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C-B-A helps you enter a state of “informed instinctiveness”, where you rely on your preparation and training to execute without overthinking.
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It’s important not to overinflate the importance of a performance. Adding too much pressure can backfire by raising arousal and tension levels. Keep perspective - people all over the world likely don’t care about the outcome.
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When something really matters, it’s even more critical to minimize worry, fear and doubt, and just focus on delivering your best performance through routines like C-B-A.
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Save careful thought for preparation, so you can be carefree, decisive and “appropriately thoughtless” when executing under pressure. C-B-A opens up your mental bank account to find certainty.
Here is a summary of the key points from the excerpt:
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After a performance, it’s important to conduct an “After Action Review” (AAR) where you honestly evaluate what went well and what didn’t. This helps ensure success in your next performance.
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The AAR involves three steps:
- What happened? - Review the overall performance and specific highs and lows in a balanced, non-judgmental way.
- So what? - Draw conclusions about what the review tells you.
- Now what? - Decide what to keep doing or change for next time.
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In the “What happened?” step, review your execution, mindset, use of C-B-A routine, highlights, and low points. Be self-critical but also self-kind, focusing more on highlights than mistakes.
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In the “So what?” step, examine what the review tells you about your preparation, mindset, skills, etc.
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In the “Now what?” step, decide what specific actions to take moving forward based on your conclusions.
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Doing an honest AAR helps build your confidence by identifying successes and extracting lessons to implement next time. It’s an important part of the ongoing process of winning “First Victories.”
Here is a summary of the key points from the epilogue:
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The author recalls a memorable bus ride in New Orleans where the bus driver greeted every passenger cheerfully, telling them to “change their mind” and have a good day if they were having a bad one. This simple phrase stuck with the author as a powerful reminder that we can choose our mindset and outlook.
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The author realized the bus driver embodied an important truth about confidence and success that the author was studying to earn a PhD in psychology. First victories over one’s own thinking can create a success cycle.
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The author was initially embarrassed that a bus driver grasped this truth so well, but then changed his mind to appreciate the driver’s positive influence.
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Though the author never knew the driver’s name, his voice and message stuck with the author for over 30 years. The author imagines the driver likely helped people during Hurricane Katrina with the same cheerful resilience.
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The episode illustrates how we can all choose to change our thinking and mindset to be more confident, optimistic, and helpful to others. The bus driver embodied this ability in a simple but profound way.
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The story illustrates how a bus driver was able to encourage his fearful passengers to have hope and change their mindset from despair to optimism during a crisis. The moral is that you don’t need an advanced degree to help others win their “First Victories” - just a willingness to change your mindset.
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General Robert B. Brown exemplified winning First Victories through practicing faith and envisioning success one mission at a time, even during challenging times like the suicide bombing that killed 22 men under his command.
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The moral is that confidence comes from deliberate, constant effort over time, even during difficult moments. It’s a habit you cultivate through practice.
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The book argues that victorious warriors win first in their minds and then go to war, while defeated warriors do the opposite. The choice of which type of “warrior” to be is up to the reader.
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The key message is that readers must make the choice to change their mindset and commit to practicing confidence daily if they want to become more confident in all areas of life. The willingness and tools are there if they want them.
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The script consists of two parts: confidence-building imagery and event preparation/execution imagery. It was written for a track athlete to help her win at the Olympic Trials, but can be modified for any performer.
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The confidence-building section focuses on instilling a champion mindset, strong work ethic, positive attitude, mental toughness, and eliminating self-doubt.
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The event preparation section covers arriving at the venue, feeling excited, evaluating the competition, and easy stretching/warm-up.
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The event execution section focuses on racing with abandon, trusting training, staying focused on the present moment, handling mistakes well, and keeping a winning mindset throughout.
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The script aims to get the athlete in the optimal mental state to perform at her highest level by combining visualization of past successes, confidence building, tactical preparation, and motivation to give 100% effort.
Here is a summary of the key points regarding accepting what you cannot change:
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Trying to control things outside of your control leads to frustration and poor performance. Instead, focus your energy on what you can control - your thoughts, emotions, and actions.
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Accept that you cannot control or change other people, external events, the past, or the inevitable. Don’t waste energy wishing things were different.
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Let go of the quest for perfection. Striving for unrealistic standards inevitably leads to disappointment. Aim for excellence within your capabilities.
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Reframe setbacks positively - they are learning experiences, not failures. Adopt a growth mindset that views abilities as developing through effort.
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Be willing to be vulnerable and risk failure in order to grow. Don’t let fear of failure paralyze you. Failure is the price of entry for success.
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Focus on the process, not the outcome. Outcomes are often out of your control, but you can control your preparation and effort. Process goals keep you present.
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Accept that anxiety is normal and embrace it rather than resist it. Anxiety provides energy if accepted rather than avoided.
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Release regrets about the past. Reflect on past mistakes objectively but don’t ruminate. Apply lessons learned going forward.
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Let go of anger about things you cannot change. Anger distracts from the present moment. Channel that energy into positive change.
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Practice mindfulness to reduce anxiety about the future. Stay grounded in the present moment.
The key is to direct your energy toward what you can control and accept what you cannot. This focus allows you to perform at your best.
Here is a summary of the key points from the article and quotes:
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The article discusses how perfectionism can be harmful and lead to anxiety and depression. Research shows perfectionists tend to be more neurotic and prone to depression and anxiety disorders.
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Perfectionism involves setting extremely high standards and being overly critical of oneself when those standards aren’t met. This can lead to perpetual disappointment.
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Quoting athlete Joe Flower: “But that’s the irony: Their desperate attempt to remove the risks and vagaries of topflight competition only increases the likelihood of this failure.” Perfectionism can paradoxically increase the chance of poor performance.
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Anxiety and nerves before a competition are normal and can be reframed positively. As Simon Sinek says, it’s about seeing the symptoms of anxiety as excitement rather than something negative.
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Athlete Steve Ward said his heart was pounding before an MVP season: “Definitely, my heart was pounding…It’s supposed to happen. It gets your adrenaline going.”
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Michael Johnson discusses how nerves and anxiety are natural: “You want to go out there and perform. That’s what you get nervous about.”
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Bill Belichick says he gets nervous every week before a game. Nerves are a natural part of competition.
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As George Leonard writes, anxiety and nerves are common even among elite performers at the highest levels. The key is learning to work with the anxiety rather than fighting it.
Here are a few key points about maintaining a constructive attitude and treating failures as limited:
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Failures and setbacks are a normal part of any endeavor. View them as learning opportunities rather than judgments on your worth.
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Focus on what you can control - your effort, preparation, and attitude. Don’t dwell on uncontrollable factors.
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Isolate each failure to the specific situation. Don’t let one failure snowball into doubts about your overall abilities.
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Remember your past successes and abilities. One setback doesn’t erase your accomplishments.
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Reframe the situation positively. Look for any benefits or lessons.
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Be patient and persistent. Overcoming challenges takes time and continued effort.
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Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in you. Their confidence can bolster yours.
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Keep your eyes on your goals. Dwelling on failures detracts energy from moving forward.
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Don’t beat yourself up. Self-criticism often backfires by undermining confidence. Speak to yourself with kindness.
In summary, treat failures as limited situations to learn from rather than broad indictments of your worth and abilities. Maintain perspective and stay focused on continued progress.
Here is a summary of the key points about confidence:
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Confidence is fragile and requires consistent maintenance through effort and practice. It is not an inherited, fixed trait (15-17, 47-52).
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Recognizing that all humans are imperfect allows for self-compassion and forgiveness of mistakes (34-39).
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The mind and body are connected, so your thoughts and mental imagery can influence physical responses related to confidence (28-34, 112-18).
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Envisioning your ideal future performance in vivid detail trains your brain and body to succeed (108-52). Use all your senses and imagine it from both internal and external perspectives (124-31).
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Constructive thinking and self-talk build confidence. Focus on progress, write affirmations, review successes, and reframe failures as temporary (60-107).
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Silence your inner critic and self-limiting beliefs. Replace negatives with empowering messages (165-208).
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Know yourself, including strengths, weaknesses, and optimal performance states. Confidence comes from within (218-19, 225-29).
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Before performances, use routines to focus on the present moment and cue your confidence (255-82).
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Have faith in the process, even when results aren’t immediate. Confidence takes diligent practice (47-52, 298).
The key is constructing your most empowering reality through deliberate thoughts, visualization, and action. Confidence grows from sustained effort to see yourself succeeding.
Here is a summary of the key points about building confidence:
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Human imperfection is normal - everyone makes mistakes. Focus on learning and growth rather than perfection.
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The mind-body connection is powerful - your thoughts and self-talk impact your physiology and performance. Monitor inner dialogue.
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Mental filters shape your reality - identify and revise filters that undermine confidence. Focus on constructive thinking.
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Envision and rehearse your ideal future performance - make vivid mental deposits to build self-belief.
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Safeguard confidence with techniques like constructive attitude lockdown, affirmations, the Shooter’s Mentality.
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Have a preshot routine to cue conviction, calm nerves, focus attention before performing.
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Adopt a “mind without thinking” state to trust preparation and act freely.
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Build enduring confidence through consistent training and positive habits. Confidence strengthens over time.
The key is managing your inner world skilfully to build and maintain robust self-belief.
Thank you for summarizing the key points from the book. The summary highlights Dr. Zinsser’s advice on using mental confidence techniques like visualization, self-talk, and focusing on process over outcome to enhance performance and achieve goals across different domains like sports, business, and military service. His mix of research, anecdotes, and practical exercises aims to give readers tools to build an unshakable confident mindset.
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About Matheus Puppe