Self Help

The Male Advantage Why women cant resist the Outlier Male (Kris Sturmey) - Kris Sturmey

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Matheus Puppe

· 19 min read

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Here is a summary of the key points from “The Male Advantage”:

  • According to studies, only 1 in 4 men are happy currently due to modern men being physically and mentally weak. Society attacks men and takes away their independence and ability to think for themselves.

  • The author argues modern male life looks more like female priorities (marriage, kids, mortgage, monogamy), rather than truly empowering masculine goals. Men sacrifice major opportunities to please women.

  • For example, the expectation that men spend 3 months’ salary on an engagement ring puts financial pressure on men to satisfy women’s goals rather than their own.

  • This leads to 3 in 4 men being unhappy working jobs they hate just to maintain the lifestyle a woman pressured them into.

  • The book promotes developing a “male advantage” mindset focused on freedom, low bills, financial control, and living fully by one’s own terms rather than society’s expectations.

  • It argues men must sacrifice short-term pleasures in their younger years like partying and chasing women in order to build a strong foundation for long-term success and happiness later in life when it really matters. Developing masculinity, fitness, wealth and independence early on are emphasized.

So in summary, the book critiques modern society for weakening men and promotes an alternative path focused on truly empowering and masculine goals, values and priorities.

  • No matter your genetic starting point (e.g. height, looks), any man can improve himself significantly through hard work and self-improvement over time. This is done through “aggregation of marginal gains” - making many small improvements rather than focusing on one huge change.

  • Things like regular exercise, diet, grooming, style can take a man from a 1/10 to a 5/10 by developing an attractive physique and basic competence. Further improvements to facial structure, social skills, career, finances can boost a man to 7-9/10 status.

  • becoming financially successful through a high-paying career is a powerful way to increase social value and attractiveness significantly. Even average looks and height can be outweighed by wealth and status.

  • Factors like charisma, humor, confidence, passion also contribute greatly to how a man is perceived. With the right combination of traits, any man can reach 10/10 status.

  • Understanding the concept of “social value” is important - women date up or match their own level, so a man must find ways to raise his social position through self-improvement if he wants to attract higher value women. Success and competency are attractive to both men and women.

So in summary, the key message is that through consistent effort, any man can significantly improve his attractiveness, social standing, and life outcomes regardless of his starting genetic hand. Hard work and self-improvement over time can take a man’s prospects from limited to unlimited.

The post describes a hierarchy of social statuses for men. At the bottom are the “general public” who are unambitious and focus on marriage, family and mundane pursuits. Above them are good-looking men who can attract women locally but lack success.

Women ranked 6-7 on attractiveness usually end up with men who have some physical appeal or career success like a doctor or personal trainer, but are otherwise average. Physical attractiveness alone can elevate one’s status.

Being rich puts men in a higher bracket, but the very richest still focus on money over well-rounded development. Outlier males have mastered success, fitness and assets to attract high-quality women globally.

Famous people and billionaires have unmatched status, but pursuing that extreme isn’t necessary for a rewarding life. Having wealth, health, relationships and balance makes for an “outlier male” existence that is at the top of the hierarchy without fame or fortune. Money alone does not guarantee happiness if other areas are lacking.

Here is a summary of the key points from the passage:

  • Social hierarchies and standards of what makes a man successful are changing rapidly due to factors like technology, social media, and increased opportunities for women. Things that used to guarantee success, like a man’s job, income, or title, are no longer enough.

  • Men now have to compete not only with other men, but also with ambitious women for the same jobs and opportunities. They also have to compete with younger people, like teenagers making money online.

  • To adapt and succeed, men need to become “Darwinian Males” - continuously self-improving and versatile across many areas of life. This includes factors like fitness, health, intelligence, wealth/assets, social skills, mental toughness, habits, culture, appearance, etc.

  • One way to become a well-rounded “Darwinian Male” is by striving for a 7/10 level in as many areas of life as possible, using an accumulation strategy like the multi-event decathlon. Being exceptional in just one area is not enough for long-term success.

  • Aggression and masculinity are still important traits for men to utilize, despite social pressures discouraging certain behaviors. Nice guys who don’t assert themselves tend not to succeed or attract women as well.

That covers the key points discussed in the passage regarding changes to social hierarchies, the need for men to adapt through self-improvement, and strategies like the “Straight 7 System” and using masculinity appropriately.

The passage argues that trying to fit in with political correctness and societal norms can actually make one more of an outcast. It says successful people tend to be leaders, not followers, and suggests aggression and masculine traits like high testosterone are keys to success.

However, it acknowledges these traits have been abused and should not be used to harm others. It asserts men naturally tend to work harder and be more ambitious/relentless in their careers due to biology. But it is not claiming women are inferior.

The main point is that men have been conditioned to think traits like aggression are bad, when in reality they can enable bulldozing through life successfully if channeled properly. It criticizes waiting for ideal times (like January 1st) to start goals, saying life is a continuous timeline and any work done early provides more freedom later.

The passage recommends detaching from artificial constructs like calendars and clocks that limit productivity, and instead seeing every moment as an opportunity to work towards one’s dreams unimpeded by societal expectations of appropriate work hours.

  • People’s lives often fall short of their potential because they follow unnecessary social conventions and schedules, like spending excessive time/money on holidays, weekends, and leisure instead of focusing on important goals.

  • University degrees can be stretched out over 3 years when the material could be completed in 6 months with focused effort, wasting students’ time partying instead of learning.

  • People follow standardized life trajectories like getting married and having kids by 30 without considering if that’s best for their goals.

  • Working only 9-5 Monday to Friday and taking extensive holidays leaves little time to achieve ambitious goals compared to those willing to frontload effort and work relentlessly.

  • Frontloading work in one’s youth, forgoing social activities and family commitments, can give someone a 4-5 year or even 10 year head start on their goals compared to conventional schedules.

  • This extra time is pivotal for building a successful career and financial independence before other responsibilities kick in.

So in summary, the passage criticizes conventional work-life balances and schedules as limiting potential, advocating intense frontloading of work early in life for outsized long-term rewards. Following standard social expectations is portrayed as wasting significant amounts of valuable time.

  • Some men have large egos and believe they are entitled to have women sleep with them without any effort on their part. This is an example of a problematic ego.

  • Many incels suffer from a similar issue - their large egos prevent them from accepting that women are not obligated to be attracted to them and sleep with them.

  • When told they need to self-improve to attract women, these men complain that it is unfair they have to improve and that women should find them attractive as-is.

  • Self-improvement, such as getting in better shape, does lead to improved dating prospects over time. But the men should be improving themselves for their own sake, not just to impress women.

  • Often when a man improves himself after a rejection or breakup, he ends up rising above his previous level and the woman who rejected him no longer meets his standards. She may then try to pursue him but he is not interested.

  • Lifelong self-improvement is key to success and achievement. Men who dedicate decades to continuously bettering themselves will surpass those who do not. But they must be willing to drop their ego and put in the work.

  • Lifting heavy weights has significant physical and physiological benefits for men, including improved hormone balance, energy levels, mood, and overall health. It counteracts many modern lifestyle issues.

  • Building muscle through strength training increases self-esteem and confidence by looking and feeling stronger. It commands more respect from others.

  • Having a fit, muscular physique makes men more physically attractive and improves their chances of finding a partner. Physical attractiveness is an advantage.

  • Achieving wealth and success without also prioritizing health is missing out on fully experiencing the “male advantage.” Staying fit and healthy allows men to enjoy the benefits of wealth and status for longer.

  • The recommended approach for building an ideal “male” physique is to do bulk/cut cycles where periods of muscle gain are followed by periods of fat loss. This approach maximizes muscle growth while maintaining low body fat for a chiseled look. It involves heavy strength training and controlled calorie management.

  • Following this bulk/cut cycle process over multiple years can result in transformational changes to body composition and appearance, allowing men to fully realize the advantages of enhanced physique, hormones, confidence and attractiveness.

Here are the key points regarding male body language:

  • Body language accounts for 70-90% of daily communication, more than words. It makes a strong first impression.

  • Eye contact is very important. Maintain eye contact in conversations, when someone catches your eye accidentally, and when talking to other men to assert dominance.

  • Move at a slow, deliberate pace rather than jerky movements. Walk, reach, turn slowly to appear calm and in control of your surroundings.

  • Speak slowly with a lower tone of voice. Talking slowly commands attention and respect. A lower voice sounds more masculine and confident.

  • Monitor your pitch when speaking to women - many men’s voices rise unintentionally, showing nerves. Keep your voice calm and lower-pitched.

  • Tonality, or how you speak, is very influential. Use emphasis and pauses strategically like a skilled salesperson to guide conversations.

The key is to remain composed in your movements and speech. Move and speak from a place of calm self-assurance rather than hurry or nerves. This body language conveys higher status and confidence.

The article provides tips for carrying oneself confidently as a man. It recommends speaking with an even, unchanging pitch and avoiding filler words like “um” and “ah.” Sentences should end with lowering intonation rather than rising like a question. When standing, adopt an upright posture with legs shoulder-width apart and arms at the sides. When seated, take up space by sitting back fully with legs apart and arms wide. Walk confidently with long strides, chin up, and don’t break stride or skirt around others. Overall, the advice emphasizes appearing relaxed, in control of space and resources, and avoiding submissive body language signals. The goal is to radiate confidence and dominance through one’s posture, tone and movements.

  • The passage provides tips for improving body language while standing, walking, and interacting with others.

  • When standing, it recommends having the chin parallel to the ground, shoulders back and down, and engaging the core muscles (abs) to appear taller and more confident.

  • When walking, it suggests taking longer strides at a slower pace, looking straight ahead into the distance rather than around, and moving with relaxed shoulders.

  • For interactions, it advises making strong eye contact, having a firm handshake, speaking assertively from the chest, and maintaining a planted stance.

  • It also gives tips for how to calmly acknowledge attractive women without changing facial expression too noticeably, and how to focus eye contact on just one woman in a group.

  • The passage emphasizes presenting yourself as confident, relaxed, and in control through your body language and behavior, noting how this can improve success in personal and professional interactions. Congruence between body language, tone of voice, and words is important.

  • It draws comparisons between how predators and prey animals carry themselves, recommending presenting more like a confident predator through posture, gaze, movement, and demeanor.

  • The passage discusses orthotropics, which is a method of facial development through proper oral posture and tongue positioning. It aims to encourage forward growth of the maxilla bone and proper bone structure through muscle development in the face.

  • Modern lifestyles like slouching posture, jaw muscle weakness from soft foods, and mouth breathing have negatively impacted facial development. Orthotropics provides a way to counteract these effects.

  • Proper oral posture involves keeping the mouth closed and placing the tip of the tongue on the palate behind the front teeth, with the back third of the tongue pressed up against the entire palate. This positions the maxilla bone properly.

  • Over time, the muscles of the tongue and masseter jaw muscles will remodel the bones through their force. This encourages forward growth of the maxilla bone, which lifts other facial bones like the cheekbones and jawline.

  • Palate expansion occurs as the tongue forces the upper teeth and palate to widen over years. This enhances breathing, smiles, and prevents teeth crowding.

  • Hollow cheeks can be developed by using the buccinator muscles through proper swallowing instead of mouth breathing or baby-like sucking motions. Muscle development hollows out the cheek area.

So in summary, it discusses how orthotropics and proper oral posture can be used to naturally enhance facial structure and attractiveness over time through muscle development and bone remodeling.

  • Using the buccinator muscles during swallowing can lead to fuller cheeks over time due to muscle use. Most people use a sucking motion when swallowing that engages the buccinator unnecessarily.

  • Swallowing with the back of the throat instead of cheeks and reducing the amount of food in the mouth at a time can cause the buccinator muscles to atrophy and result in hollower cheeks.

  • Neck and submental (under chin) exercises are important for facial attractiveness but often neglected. Exercises from 1STMAN YouTube can help tone these areas.

  • Daily habits like good posture, mouth breathing, screen time can impact facial structure. Proper swallowing, chewing thoroughly, and mewing can help achieve a better structure.

  • Frequent ejaculation and porn addiction can negatively impact drive, motivation and mental health due to dopamine saturation effects. Directing sexual energy to productive outlets like exercise, hobbies, work can help. Excessive variety in porn can amplify these issues.

  • Porn addiction may be as dangerous as substance addiction but harder to recognize due to societal acceptance. It can lead to social isolation and incel behavior over time. Japan is experiencing societal issues from porn and escapism through media.

  • Porn and masturbation lead to dopamine desensitization, making other rewarding tasks seem less exciting. This saps motivation and energy levels.

  • Instant gratification from porn is an easier path than genuinely improving oneself and earning success/sex over time through hard work and experience.

  • Younger men under 35 are struggling due to the motivation-sapping effects of porn use. It provides easy gratification that pulls them away from goals and self-improvement.

  • Taking risks early in life when responsibilities are low is important for getting ahead financially. Young men should take calculated risks by investing, starting businesses, developing skills, etc. rather than playing it safe.

  • Defensive moves like paying off debts quickly or immediately buying property for investment are not the paths to wealth. Bigger risks with higher payoffs are needed.

  • Planting seeds over the long run, like 10 years, through continual self-improvement and strategic investments can lead to much greater success than focusing on short-term gains and validation. Patience is key.

The essay discusses various strategies and mindsets for getting ahead financially and professionally when starting from a disadvantaged position. It emphasizes the importance of long-term planning and investment, even if it means short-term sacrifices.

It talks about the marshmallow test and how children who can delay gratification tend to be more successful later in life. This relates to being willing to sacrifice some present desires for future rewards.

Working weekends is recommended as crucial for making significant progress. Specific rules are outlined, like getting enough sleep, avoiding distractions, and maintaining a consistent work schedule.

It also suggests focusing solely on career/goals and avoiding relationships/dating for 3-5 years, as these can be major distractions and money/time sinks early on.

The essay distinguishes an “outlier male” model from a simplistic “alpha male” definition. An outlier male excels through a multidimensional combination of traits like health, fitness, intelligence, success, culture, leadership rather than just one attribute like physical strength.

Overall it promotes strategic long-term thinking, discipline, single-minded focus, and being willing to sacrifice pleasures in service of important future goals.

  • The passage argues that “outlier males” will replace “alpha males” as the dominant archetype in modern society. Outlier males encourage success through helping others, whereas alpha males assert dominance through belittling others.

  • Reaching one’s late 20s, especially around age 27, is described as a dangerous time for men. Traditionally, men experience their most sexual/romantic opportunity at this age but also often settle down into long-term relationships/commitments.

  • Marrying and starting a family in one’s late 20s/early 30s according to traditional timelines (dating, cohabiting, marriage, mortgage, children) can cost a man financially and prevent him from fully achieving his own life goals independent of his partner’s.

  • The estimated total costs of following this relationship timeline from ages 27-36 are calculated to be over $345,000, requiring earnings of around $500,000 before taxes. This diverts money away from a man’s own goals and peak years.

  • In summary, the passage promotes the idea that outlier male traits will replace alpha male norms, and advises men to carefully consider relationship timelines and commitments to avoid missing out on their independent success and wealth potential in their peak late 20s to mid 30s years. Prioritizing one’s own goals is positioned as important.

  • Divorced men at age 40 often regret decisions they made earlier in life, like spending money and time in the wrong ways or rushing into commitments like marriage and children too soon.

  • Men should focus on career and financial success from ages 30-35, investing their higher earnings instead of spending on “female life goals.” This can set them up financially for life.

  • There is no reset button - timing major life decisions like marriage, kids and home ownership is important for men to avoid regret. Rushing into commitments solely for sex or out of fear of being alone can backfire long-term.

  • Women pursue their natural life goals like family relentlessly, but men should communicate their own goals and take charge instead of just going along with what women want.

  • The idea of “the one” soulmate is a myth - people settle for good enough partners based on availability and preferences meet by chance. True love and soulmates are rationalizations, not destiny.

  • Men should remain unmarried and focus on career/goals until their 30s to avoid making compromises that lead to regret or drain their resources supporting a family prematurely. Dating casually for 3 months at a time allows enjoyment without distraction from goals.

So in summary, it argues men should avoid rushing into commitments for emotional reasons, communicate their own goals clearly, and focus on career success in their 30s before taking on major responsibilities like marriage and children to avoid future regret.

Here is a brief summary of the key points made in the passage:

  • If your partner is pregnant, do not move in together right away. Living together too soon can strain the relationship and lead to loss of sexual attraction/desire over time as you see each other’s daily habits.

  • Once living together, the “honeymoon phase” wears off and daily chores/responsibilities become routine rather than special date nights. You lose privacy and personal time.

  • Seeing each other every day, flaws are more apparent which can damage sexual attraction. Other women may seem more appealing since you don’t live with them.

  • Living apart preserves excitement and mystery in the relationship. You each maintain your own interests and independence rather than everything merging together.

  • Marriage comes with high financial risks of divorce but few actual benefits compared to just being in a long-term relationship without legal marriage. Prenups don’t fully protect assets either.

  • Men’s lives and careers peak later than women’s prime beauty/fertility years, so large age gaps between partners were historically better aligned.

  • The safest approach for men is to avoid legal marriage, focus on career and financial stability first before having children, and be the best co-parent/partner without needing a wedding ceremony.

  • The author argues that men’s lives typically peak later than women’s lives. For women, their peak attractiveness and fertility is earlier, in their late teens and 20s.

  • For men, their physical and mental peaks occur later, in their 30s and even 40s. Things like strength, muscle/bone mass, earnings potential, attractiveness to women, and focus/memory typically peak during this time period.

  • The author cites data and statistics showing that various male attributes peak anywhere from age 18 to age 71, with the overall average male peak being around age 37.

  • According to the author, a man’s late 30s (ages 35-37) represent the optimal time for male attractiveness, success, and partnering/having children. At this stage of life, a man has accumulated years of experience and self-improvement.

  • The argument is made that men in their teens and 20s should focus on working hard, building skills/experience, staying in shape, and accumulating assets so they can maximize their advantages in their 30s and beyond. Taking advantage of short-term pleasures early on can undermine long-term success.

  • Hollywood examples are given of male celebrities who achieve their greatest success and attractiveness starting in their late 30s and 40s, after years of building experience and physiques.

Here is a summary of the provided text:

The passage discusses the male peak years between ages 29-40 and argues that men should look better at age 40 than 29 with proper lifestyle habits. It notes that physical abilities like muscle mass, strength and endurance peak in late 20s/early 30s and don’t significantly decline with exercise.

It criticizes men who claim their declining looks after 30 are inevitable, saying only poor lifestyle choices or laziness would cause a noticeable downgrade over just an 11 year period. Maintaining good habits over decades allows men to remain in their peak longer versus dropping off prematurely.

The author says by 40, he can no longer hold men’s hands with advice and it’s up to them to make their own decisions. His job was to guide them to a point of self-sufficiency where they can freely choose how to spend their empowered years.

Finally, it stresses the importance of maintaining testosterone levels for retaining youthful energy, motivation, appearance and overall health across one’s peak decades. High T allows some men to enjoy the advantages of their peak well into their 60s versus dropping off earlier.

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About Matheus Puppe