Self Help

The Rational Male - Positive Masculinity - Rollo Tomassi

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Matheus Puppe

· 127 min read
  • The Rational Male is a book series by Rollo Tomassi exploring masculinity, intergender dynamics, and the rational and pragmatic approach to intersexual relationships.

  • Volume 3, Positive Masculinity, builds on the previous volumes and focuses on the importance of positive masculinity and masculinity in the context of raising children, relationships, and social dynamics.

  • The forward is a tribute to Andrew Hansen, aka The Private Man, a fellow manosphere blogger who recently passed away. Rollo highlights Andrew’s positive and accessible attitude. Although they disagreed at times, Rollo admired Andrew’s willingness to engage with hard truths.

  • The book covers topics such as parenting from a red pill perspective, dealing with women’s solipsism and hypergamy, maintaining frame, and leading complementary relationships. It emphasizes self-improvement, accepting harsh truths with positivity, and serving as a guide for other men.

  • Overall the book argues for an informed, balanced, and constructive masculinity based on rational understanding of intergender dynamics, not passive aggression or hostility. The goal is to help men maximize their relationships, happiness and fulfillment.

  • The author wanted to write a memorial and eulogy for a man in the manosphere known as Private Man. Private Man had a major influence on intersexual dynamics and helped spread awareness of “the Red Pill.”

  • The author struggled with why he felt so passionate about spreading Red Pill awareness and helping men “unplug” from societal conditioning. He didn’t want to rely solely on personal experiences in his writing and tried to take a pragmatic, analytical approach. However, he shares some of his experiences here to provide context for his motivation.

  • The author’s “problem” is living in a world where conventional masculinity and positive masculinity are ridiculed and men lack good role models. He shares many examples of men suffering or causing suffering due to their Blue Pill conditioning and lack of guidance.

  • The author’s goal is to help educate men, especially younger men and boys, to avoid these pitfalls and traps. He believes it is literally a matter of “life or death” and that the decisions we make about relationships and gender dynamics have huge ripple effects.

  • The author sees a need for more “manosphere” authors and speakers to help kick men “in the ass” and provide the guidance their fathers did not. He felt privileged to meet many such men at a 2015 conference.

  • The author hopes this new volume, titled “Positive Masculinity,” serves as a tribute to Private Man and helps spread awareness of positive masculinity. The Red Pill is not just about “brutal truths” but also about positive masculinity.

The key themes are the need for masculine guidance, the dangers of Blue Pill conditioning, the ripple effects of intersexual dynamics, and promoting a balanced view of positive masculinity. The author aims to honor Private Man’s legacy and continue that work.

• The author has written about intersexual dynamics and the Red Pill for 14 years. Although some think he has covered everything, he believes there are still many areas left to explore.

• The Red Pill is a praxeology, the study of human action and purposeful behavior. The Red Pill is always evolving as new experiences and input are incorporated.

• The author’s purpose in writing is to help men become aware of the “feminine-primary” social conditioning that has defined their lives. With a Red Pill lens, men can see the manipulative tactics used by others and break free from their Blue Pill conditioning.

• The original working title of the book was “The Rational Male, The Red Pill.” However, the author shifted to focusing on expressing how Red Pill awareness can benefit men’s lives in many ways, including but not limited to intersexual dynamics. About a quarter of the book covers Red Pill parenting.

• The author believes there needs to be a reckoning of what constitutes positive masculinity for future generations of Red Pill aware men. He has always seen a need to correct the perception of “toxic” masculinity promoted by society with the reality of conventional masculinity.

• We live in a time where any expression of traditional masculinity is seen as bullying or hyper-masculine. Society either defines masculinity as something obscure and subjective or something dangerous and ridiculous. The author believes there is a war on conventional masculinity in progressive western societies that has been going on for generations.

• The author found it difficult to describe what Positive Masculinity means to Red Pill aware men. Blue Pill conditioning works to neuter masculinity by recruiting men to emasculate themselves, and this conditioning removes their ability to understand conventional masculinity.

  • This book provides actionable ideas for men to apply Red Pill awareness in their lives, but it is not a prescriptive program to magically change one’s mindset. Individual men will have individual solutions based on their circumstances.

  • The book offers tools and concepts to build a better life based on a new awareness that can help men avoid uninformed choices. It may help in relationships, work, family, parenting, education, career, etc. However, it may also reveal unhealthy relationships.

  • The guidelines are suggestions, not rules. The Red Pill should not be distorted to fit ideologies or justify the status quo. It is an open source of truth that can be interpreted differently.

  • Read The Rational Male first to understand the foundational principles, concepts, and acronyms. This book builds upon that foundation, though it can still provide value on its own. Read without distractions for the best understanding.

  • TL;DR (Too Long; Didn’t Read) limits understanding. Red Pill awareness requires effort and process, not just bullet points. Summarizing complex ideas often leads to criticism from under-informed readers. The process behind conclusions is as important as the conclusions themselves.

In summary, this book provides useful guidelines for applying Red Pill principles in life, but readers should understand it thoroughly rather than relying on shortcuts. The ideas build upon previous books, especially The Rational Male, and are meant as suggestions for individuals to interpret for their needs rather than prescriptive rules. Gaining understanding requires effort and patience, not just summaries. The process for reaching conclusions is as meaningful as the endpoints.

• The Rational Male is meant to be a “living text” that men can return to and discuss as their lives and circumstances change. It is meant to prompt discussion, not serve as some manifesto.

• This book focuses on men’s personal development, though the author is wary of much of the “personal development” genre. The aim is to give men tools to improve their lives by applying Red Pill awareness, not give a step-by-step plan for self-improvement.

• The book is divided into four sections:

  1. Red Pill Parenting - Advice for raising children with a Red Pill awareness. This will likely be controversial.

  2. The Feminine Nature - Essays exploring predictable aspects of female psychology and behavior.

  3. Social Imperatives - How female psychology manifests in society, culture, law, and politics. This explores how feminism and “women’s empowerment” have shaped society.

  4. Positive Masculinity - Essays outlining a conventional and rational masculinity that men can define for themselves. The aim is to reclaim masculinity from tropes like “toxic” masculinity.

• The hope is that readers will apply the “Red Pill Lens” to gain new perspectives, reclaim authentic masculinity, and make positive changes in their lives and society. Readers are encouraged to share and discuss the book to spark insight and change.

• Some parts may make readers angry, while others prompt “Aha!” moments. Both reactions can spark useful insight. Discussion and debate are encouraged.

• The printed book format is recommended as it makes sharing and discussing easier. The author makes the least royalties from print books but encourages them the most for this reason.

  • The role and importance of fathers is complex in today’s society. On the one hand, fathers are seen as irresponsible and absent. On the other, they are blamed for society’s problems when they are absent.

  • There are several archetypes of fathers portrayed in media and culture:

  1. The deadbeat dad - irresponsible, needs to “man up”

  2. The buffoon dad - bumbling, requires his wife to solve problems, confirms superiority of “Strong Independent Women”

  3. The abusive asshole dad - easy to hate, blamed for psychological issues

  • Father’s Day highlights the devaluation and disposability of masculinity. It’s seen as a “fuck you” to dads or a reminder to “try harder”.

  • The author felt pressure to outperform as a dad due to social conventions but realized it was a “game where the rules are fixed to make better slaves of disposable men”.

  • There is a masculine Catch-22: men are expected to “man up” and take responsibility when convenient for women but also denigrated for asserting masculinity. Any aspect of masculinity that serves women is a man’s responsibility; anything that does not is “patriarchy” or “misogyny”.

  • Fathers walk a fine line. They are viewed with contempt for being active parents but also blamed for social problems when absent. They are seen as vital but also superfluous, with a child’s success attributed to the mother or “village”. Their influence is only valued if it agrees with the “feminine-primary” plan. Otherwise it’s deemed “institutionalized misogyny”.

  • About a third of US children live without their biological father. Fathers play an important role in development but one that is complex and often contradictory in modern society.

• Fatherlessness is an epidemic in the U.S., especially in African-American families. Estimates show between half to three-quarters of black children grow up without their biological fathers.

• Fatherlessness has many negative consequences but is rarely discussed as a major social issue. It only comes up when tragic events happen, and the absent father is blamed.

• Fatherless children are more prone to behavioral problems, criminal behavior, and psychological issues. They are disempowered and often have poor self-esteem.

• The denial of the importance of fathers supports the idea that men are irrelevant. Single mothers by choice are praised, inferring that fathers don’t matter. Pets are seen as more crucial to a family than a man.

• The feminist movement has worked to minimize the role of the father in the family. Now that they have succeeded, the negative impacts are clear but ignored. Fathers provide authority, order, and stability in families and communities.

• “Beta” fathers who adopt feminist parenting styles are just as damaging as uninvolved fathers. They teach boys to be weak and girls to be entitled.

• Parenting today often puts children before the parents’ relationship and authority. This is damaging and effectively makes the children hostages. Mothers use the children against the father’s authority.

• Historically, children were raised by observing parents living happily together. They learned life skills by watching the parents, not by being the center of attention. Putting children first and spoiling them with attention hampers their development.

• The “children first” narrative is a tool to disempower men as fathers and husbands. But children need a stable family with authority figures to develop properly. Men should maintain their Mental Point of Origin and not waver in self-authority.

• A study found that American parenting styles are damaging marriages. Parents put too much focus on children and not enough on their spousal relationship. This leads to conflict, resentment, and damaged marriages. A strong marriage leads to happy, healthy children. Putting the marriage first results in the best outcome for the entire family.

  • In western culture, a good parent (especially a mother) is measured by how well she prioritizes her children’s needs over everything else, including her relationship with her spouse. This is known as the Feminine Imperative.

  • Mothers are expected to be self-sacrificing for their children in a way that fathers are not. Mothers are supposed to devote themselves entirely to their children and not express interest in anything else, like their sex lives or relationship with their spouse. This expectation boxes mothers in and prevents them from having a balanced, healthy life.

  • Elevating parenthood to the status of a religion has some benefits but also significant downsides. Parents who cannot be honest about their feelings and needs end up less able to handle issues in the home. Children who are taught that they are the center of the universe struggle when they grow up and realize that is not the case. Couples who live entirely child-centric lives often grow apart from each other and have marital troubles once the children leave home.

  • Women often default to using their children as a way to control their husbands or avoid intimacy and a real relationship with them. Children become a “buffer” to avoid dealing with the marriage or the husband’s opinions and needs. Men frequently buy into this and feel their needs should come second to their children’s.

  • It is important for men to establish a strong relational frame with their wives in order to have a healthy family dynamic. They should not cede control of the frame to their children, even though they aim to be good, involved fathers. Maintaining authority and frame is not the same as being a “typical asshole father”. Failing to lead the family often causes more problems than assuming authority.

  • The frame a man establishes at the beginning of a relationship becomes the template for the rest of that relationship. While it’s possible to strengthen or reestablish frame later on, it is easier to start from the beginning with a strong, healthy frame that includes both parents as the leaders of the family. Their relationship with each other should be the foundation, not the children.

The key points are that men should make their frame and relationship the priority to have the best chance of a good marriage and family life. Children are second to the marital relationship, not above it, in a healthy dynamic. Of course, good parents aim to raise children who feel loved and supported, but not at the complete expense of the spousal relationship. Balance is key.

• A man’s Frame, the rational and self-confident mindset from which he approaches the world, is imperative for healthy relationships and raising children.

• Many men were raised in families dominated by their mother’s Frame and their father’s submission to it. This can condition boys to accept a Beta role in life and see masculinity through a feminine-primary lens.

• In most marriages and long-term relationships, the woman’s Frame becomes the dominant Frame by default. The man gives up his authority and defers to his wife’s Frame. This is unhealthy and leads to problems.

• It is important for men to establish their Frame as the basis of the relationship before commitment. Otherwise, the woman’s Hypergamous doubt and insecurity become the primary influence on the health of the relationship and family.

• Women are typically most attracted to the top 5-20% of men. The top 1-2% of men naturally maintain their Frame which quiets the woman’s Hypergamous doubt. Women with these men will naturally “put him before the kids.” Lower-tier men will struggle to achieve this and mitigate Hypergamous doubt.

• For boys raised by single mothers or in families where the mother’s Frame dominates, the mother’s Hypergamous decisions and doubt become the motivating influence on their development. This perpetuates the cycle of weak or confused men and entitled women.

• The key to breaking this cycle is recognizing its influence in your own life. Then you can develop a strong, positive masculine Frame to prevent raising another generation with this cycle.

The major themes are establishing a strong male-dominant Frame, recognizing and mitigating the effects of Hypergamous doubt, and breaking the cycle of perpetuating unhealthy relationships and family dynamics. The ultimate goal is raising psychologically healthy families based on complementarian relationships between masculine men and feminine women.

The first step to overcoming Blue Pill conditioning and attitudes is acknowledging the truth of Red Pill ideas. Recognizing how the Feminine Imperative has influenced your development frees you to craft your own identity that rejects its dictates. However, wallowing in self-pity about your past only prolongs its effects on you.

Ectogenesis, or developing a child in an artificial womb, is technology that some argue could allow single men to become fathers without a woman’s involvement. While possible in theory, there are ethical concerns with using a surrogate and risks of the child lacking a maternal influence. Children benefit developmentally from having both male and female parents. Overall, deliberately choosing single parenthood reflects a belief that one gender is sufficient for parenting, which amounts to social engineering.

Feminism has promoted the idea that women can “have it all” through equal career achievement and relationships. However, this also encourages women to delay marriage and motherhood in favor of pursuing empowerment and Hypergamous optimization. By the time women wish to settle down, their fertility and options may have significantly declined. The “have it all” message is an unrealistic expectation that also limits women’s choices.

In summary, accepting Red Pill truths is the first step to growth beyond them. While technology may enable new possibilities like single fatherhood via ectogenesis, children greatly benefit from conventional two-parent households. The idea of women “having it all” is an unrealistic feminist ideal that actually limits their life fulfillment in practice. Overall, biology, ethics and developmental psychology suggest that traditional families serve children’s best interests.

  • Women today delay marriage and childbirth until their late 20s or early 30s as they spend their younger years pursuing education and career opportunities. This delays their ability to find a suitable long-term partner.

  • As women age, their sexual market value and fertility decline, making it more difficult to find an ideal partner. However, some believe advances like egg freezing provide more time.

  • Women often have an unrealistic vision of an idealized partner and relationship that they believe they deserve. But by the time they are ready to settle down, many of the men they would consider most suitable and desirable partners are unavailable.

  • Women frequently blame men for their inability to find a good long-term partner, rather than recognizing the consequences of their own choices and expectations. Men are told they need to “man up” and commit to a woman’s choice of timing around marriage and children.

  • For men considering becoming fathers or husbands, it’s important to go in with realistic expectations. Women’s choices are strongly influenced by hypergamy and social conventions that push men into a role of servitude to women’s needs and timelines. Single mothers also often see men as an afterthought or as an accessory to their role as mother, rather than a true partner.

  • The time when women are aged 27 to 31 is when they are most in need of a long-term partner due to declining fertility and sexual market value. However, it is also when men have the most power to be selective in finding a suitable partner. Men should avoid feelings of obligation and instead evaluate women realistically on their own timetable.

The overall point is that relationships, marriage, and parenting are all best entered into by both men and women with realistic understandings of each other’s motivations and biological drives. Choosing a long-term partner and the timing of children should not be dictated by social pressures to “man up” or misguided beliefs that advances have rendered biological realities obsolete. Both men and women must recognize these realities to build healthy relationships and families.

  • Feminine social conditioning pressures Beta men to forgive women’s short-term relationships with Alpha men during their youth. But as men become more aware of female sexual strategies through the Red Pill, this will be harder to maintain.

  • The main advantage of marriage for men is having a good environment to raise children. But women and society tell men that women can raise children just as well, even without a father. The “good father” is defined by the Feminine Imperative as one who gives up his masculinity to support the woman.

  • For men looking to have children, establishing a strong masculine frame and understanding female sexual strategies are important. Men face many obstacles in Western culture, where fatherhood is devalued but men are still expected to qualify themselves to the mother and society.

  • When vetting a woman for marriage and children, men should consider her sexual past and Hypergamous choices. An Alpha mindset means having many options and not being overly concerned with a woman’s past. But for marriage and children, a woman’s past is very relevant given the risks men take on. However, society shames men for considering a woman’s past.

  • Asking about a woman’s past is like considering whether to marry a former addict. We would not praise a woman for “following her heart” and marrying an addict without considering the risks and consequences. But society tells men they should not judge a woman for her sexual past, even though it directly impacts his interests.

  • Women understand that their past relationships threaten their ability to secure long-term commitment from Beta men as they reach the Epiphany Phase. Their past undermines their ability to bond with a man, and the more partners a woman has, the more likely she is to cheat or divorce. Women hide their past from Beta men and punish men who ask about it.

  • In summary, while society pressures Beta men to forgive a woman’s past, men must consider a woman’s history of Hypergamous choices when vetting her for marriage and children due to the many risks he incurs. Women hide their pasts to keep Betas in the dark, but an Alpha mindset means judging a woman’s suitability based on the consequences to him and his interests.

  • Women rationalize their past indiscretions by describing them as a “journey of self-discovery” to absolve themselves of responsibility. They claim they are “not that person anymore”. However, women also often leave their husbands later in life for a “journey of self-discovery” they missed out on when younger.

  • When dating, women should experience a range of men from “bad boys” to “good husbands” to learn what they want. However, women should eventually settle down with a man who sees them as an equal and shares responsibilities. These men are ultimately more attractive long-term partners.

  • It is important for men to understand women’s dualistic sexual strategy. Women openly embrace their sexuality when young and attractive but condemn male awareness of female sexuality as “insecure” when women are older and want commitment. Vetting a woman’s sexual history is important for men to do covertly to make the best choice in a life partner.

  • One highly impactful past lover (an “alpha widow”) is enough to disrupt a woman’s ability to pair bond monogamously with a man. The number of past sexual partners alone does not determine a woman’s ability to remain faithful. The intensity and memorability of past relationships is more significant.

  • Most men either vet women to an extreme and unrealistic degree or scarcely vet women at all due to social conventions that say it is “judgmental” to do so. The risks of marriage and child-rearing for men are so great that properly vetting a woman is imperative. Men must unlearn the idea that vetting a woman is wrong or judgmental. They must vet covertly to choose the best mother for their children.

  • Being a good father and masculine influence requires properly vetting women and understanding the substantial risks of marriage and family. Designing one’s relationships and parenting role is better than just “letting things happen”. Cold, rational vetting of women as potential mothers is a must.

In summary, the key points center around redefining unhealthy choices as learning experiences, embracing sexuality when convenient but condemning male awareness of it otherwise, the importance of vetting women for life partnership due to significant risks, and taking an active role in shaping one’s relationships rather than being passive. The overall perspective focuses on male self-interest in an era where marriage and family offer more downside than upside for men.

• Being a father is a thankless job in today’s society. Fathers are denigrated and not appreciated for the sacrifices they make to provide for their families. Children are primarily focused on their mothers and see their fathers as second-rate or superfluous.

• Cultural expectations are contradictory for fathers. They are expected to fulfill the traditional masculine role of provider but also embrace a more feminine role of being a second mother. This contradiction leads to unhappiness and resentment.

• A father’s presence and influence in his children’s lives is only as valuable as he makes it for himself. Fathers cannot expect external rewards or appreciation and must find intrinsic motivation and meaning in their role.

• The “village” of broader society and culture actively works against fathers and traditional masculinity. It will teach boys to loathe their gender and masculinity. It will teach girls to embrace hypergamy and view masculinity with disrespect. The village raises children to perpetuate a cycle that devalues men.

• Despite these cultural forces, basic biology and psychology still motivate children. Fathers can leverage children’s innate drives to complement traditional gender roles and teach them the value of traditional masculinity and gender roles. This is a father’s greatest advantage.

• It is best to start teaching boys Red Pill truths as early as possible, before the age of 10. By this age, Blue Pill conditioning has already set in and begun perpetuating itself. Early intervention is key to overcoming cultural conditioning.

• Teenage years may be too late to introduce boys to the Red Pill. By this time, boys have already internalized the unhealthy Blue Pill conditioning from the surrounding culture. Early education gives boys the best chance to develop into strong, independent, masculine men.

That covers the key highlights and arguments around parenting, fatherhood, and raising children from a Red Pill perspective. Please let me know if you would like me to explain or expand on any part of the summary.

  • It’s important for men to develop a strong, positive, and dominant frame of mind before having children. This frame becomes the foundation for parenting.

  • Ages 5-12 are the most impressionable. Kids learn through observing behavior, so fathers should demonstrate positive, conventional masculinity. Include sons in male-only spaces and activities. Institute rites of passage to mark the transition from boyhood to manhood.

  • Teach boys that masculinity is not an act. Reject the notion that masculinity is toxic. Teach boys to value and accept the responsibilities of manhood.

  • Do things with your sons. Men bond through shared activity and communication. Counter feminine-primary teaching by demonstrating male communication styles.

  • Don’t start formally teaching Red Pill awareness too late. Subtly demonstrate it from an early age through leading by example. Expand on those examples during the teen years. Teenage boys will be more receptive if they come to the ideas on their own. Continue demonstrating Red Pill principles as they become young men.

  • For daughters, demonstrate a Red Pill frame and insist on the mother’s acknowledgement of it. Model the type of man you want your daughter to marry. Recognize that hypergamy emerges at a young age. Counter influence of popular culture.

  • The same core principles—frame, masculinity, male-bonding, etc.—should guide parenting of both boys and girls, but the specifics will differ for each sex.

The overall idea is that parenting guided by Red Pill awareness from an early stage is key to raising children, especially sons, who grow into healthy, strong, independent adults. Lead by example through maintaining a strong frame and conventional masculinity.

The key lessons this father wants to impart to his son are:

  1. Don’t commit to or pursue just one girl. Date multiple women to gain experience and determine what you really want in a long-term partner.

  2. Develop an confident, assertive attitude and physique. Your looks and how you carry yourself matter.

  3. Don’t chase girls. Make them pursue you. Show a ambiguous and aloof attitude. Let them wonder about your options and interest level.

  4. Say less and be less available. Use a 3:1 ratio - for every 3 texts or calls she sends, send 1 short response. Have your own life and priorities outside of girls.

  5. Girls are meant to complement your life, not be the focus of it. Establish your own mission and pursuits first.

  6. Girls are always looking to “upgrade” to a better partner. Understand their tendency to cheat or branch swing to maintain their options.

  7. Don’t be overly nice. Tease girls and maintain a cocky attitude. Niceness will not attract them.

  8. It’s better to take a risk and face rejection than live with regret for not trying. Rejection is a part of life.

  9. Learn how to handle “shit tests” - girls testing you to determine your confidence and options. Pass them to maintain her attraction.

  10. Understand female sexuality and how to satisfy women sexually.

  11. Play the long game. A girl’s attractiveness peaks in her early 20s. A man’s usually peaks in his 30s. The power dynamics will shift.

  12. Men and women view love differently. Women’s love is opportunistic. It will fade if you show weakness or lower value.

  13. Do not show vulnerability. Remain stoic and self-reliant. Use any emotional display sparingly and as a reward.

  14. Pay attention to a woman’s actions and behaviors, not her words. They reveal her true motivations and level of interest.

  15. Smirk and remain cocky rather than smile generously or kindly. Show a degree of disagreeableness and lack of virtue to build attraction.

In summary, these lessons focus on maintaining an Alpha mindset, understanding the nature of women’s attraction cues, becoming outcome independent, and playing a long game by not over investing in women - especially at a young age. The father wants to prepare his son to have an abundance mentality, strong frame, and wisdom about the tendencies of the opposite sex.

  • Teach your son positive masculinity based on Red Pill principles from an early age. Otherwise, society will teach them a feminized and Blue Pill version of masculinity.

  • Boys are actively being conditioned from an early age to despise masculinity and to become more feminized. This is happening through the educational system and broader culture.

  • Statistics show that boys are struggling in today’s educational systems. They are diagnosed with ADHD and behavioral problems at higher rates. They are dropping out and underperforming relative to girls. The system and curriculum have become “anti-boy.”

  • Elementary schools are discouraging normal boyish behaviors and pathologizing them. They are teaching boys that masculinity is “defective.” Young boys are learning feminist terminology and how to appease girls at a very early age due to this conditioning.

  • Life has never been more advantageous for women in society. The social order is set up to benefit and entitle women at the expense of men. One way this manifests is through the active “deconstruction” of conventional masculinity.

  • The Feminine Imperative uses appeals to egalitarianism and gender neutrality to geld conventional masculinity. Anything defined as traditionally masculine is labeled as “toxic.” The true goal is to redefine masculinity to serve the interests of the Feminine Imperative.

  • Cultural messaging encourages boys and men to “get in touch with their feminine side.” Men are shamed for displays of conventionally masculine behaviors. Masculinity is redefined as a “facade” that hides male insecurity.

  • 90% of all transgender children are biological boys. This is the extreme result of boys internalizing the belief that masculinity is defective. Their parents and teachers encourage and affirm these transitions.

  • Future generations of men can exploit this feminized social order by embracing conventional masculinity as a form of “counter-culture.” They have the benefit of warnings from Red Pill men today. Raising “Red Pill aware” sons is one way to counteract the effects of feminized conditioning.

• Boys today are being raised to hate conventional masculinity and defer to the feminine. They are taught by mostly female teachers and feminized male teachers to despise masculinity.

• As a father, you must teach your sons the opposite - to value masculinity, emotional control, and having a mental “point of origin” that puts their own interests first. You must counter the cultural narrative that seeks to mold boys into feminine and potentially despotic men.

• Teach your sons emotional control and that expressing insecurity or weakness is not strength. Encourage real inner strength and withholding emotions when needed. Teach them that conventional masculinity comes from inner resolve.

• Stay aware of how boys and men are negatively portrayed in media and point it out to your sons. Teach them that men are responsible for most accomplishments and innovations. Engage them in discussions about the differences between boys/men and girls/women.

• Teach your sons to fight and defend themselves. Take a martial art with them. This shows masculinity and submitting to a master to become a master.

• Teach your sons to put their own interests and well-being first before deferring to others, especially women. Their world will try to convince them to put women first, but self-interest must come first. This does not mean encouraging sociopathy but self-care and interest as a starting point.

• Boys desire challenges, risk, and controlling surroundings. But schools praise weakness and cowardice. This leaves boys confused and either retreating from life or engaging in base self-indulgence. Conventional masculinity must be taught to guide their instincts.

• Fatherless and feminine-primary conditioning lead to the destruction of civilization. Fathers and male-centered organizations like the Boy Scouts are targeted, leaving boys with transgender camps and gender-neutral spaces instead of learning masculinity. The trade-offs are seen as worth it but really create an illusion of freedom and decline.

That covers the main points from the overview on teaching boys conventional masculinity in today’s feminine-primary culture. Please let me know if you would like me to explain or expand on any part of the summary.

  • Boys today are deliberately confused about masculinity and anxious to belong due to social conditioning. Despite this, there is a innate desire for a strong, masculine father figure.

  • The lack of a strong father figure causes psychological issues that manifest in various ways, including social anxiety, purposelessness, and emptiness. However, the root cause - the lack of a father - is rarely discussed openly.

  • The cultural attitudes toward fathers range from indifference to hostility. Fatherlessness is blamed for many social problems, but masculinity itself is seen as toxic.

  • For individuals, the lack of a father can be damaging. But in a culture that does not value fatherhood, the consequences are even more widespread. Surrogate father figures like mentors can help, but they are not a complete solution.

  • Although the damage cannot be completely undone, individuals can make a difference by being strong father figures, mentoring young men, and promoting the importance of fatherhood. Pockets of resistance can be formed.

  • An example shows how the lack of a father figure and the male desire to please women by not becoming like “typical men” - like their “asshole” fathers - leads to psychological conflict and problems in relationships. The men believe they will be appreciated for being different from other men, but women generally prefer traditionally masculine men.

  • The key point is that the feminine-centered culture deliberately miseducates and confuses boys about masculinity. But there remains a deep longing for a strong, positive male role model that the culture refuses to acknowledge. Individuals can resist this by mentoring boys and being that role model. But to truly change, the anti-masculine culture itself must be challenged.

The son grew up internalizing negative views of his father based on his mother’s opinions and societal stereotypes. He made an “adolescent declaration” to be a “better man” than his father by being someone worthy of love and respect. However, as he gets older, he realizes that he is just as human and flawed as his father.

It is challenging for the son to overcome this view of his father and the “promise” he made. Even with Red Pill awareness, these early schemas persist. They are compounded by:

  1. His mother portraying his father in a negative, vulnerable way

  2. Popular ideas of male archetypes that label his father as reprehensible

  3. His mother’s possible reinforcement of female victimhood

While difficult, it is possible to help “promise keepers” like the son become unplugged from this Blue Pill conditioning. Two things that can trigger this:

  1. Experiencing first-hand that women’s actual behavior does not match what he always believed

  2. An internal struggle to keep his “promise” in a way that aligns with his best interests

For the father, reconnecting with an estranged son in this situation is very difficult. The son’s views of him are colored by years of negative conditioning. The social order is aligned against the father. The son may see value in perpetuating the “victim of dad’s misogyny” narrative.

However, the father should evaluate the situation objectively. The son may be too far gone to reconnect with. But if possible, the father needs to understand how he is perceived through a “fem-centric” cultural lens. He must determine the root cause of the estrangement and address it. With time and consistency, the father may be able to overcome the son’s preconceptions, gain his respect, and rebuild their relationship. But this is an uphill battle that requires patience and perseverance.

• Assess your previous Blue Pill impression and conditioning that you and your son were subject to. Consider how that influences your current dynamic and how resistant your son may be to a Red Pill aware father now.

• Did you have a strong Frame when with his mother? If so, does your son still expect that from you? If not, you’ll have to reestablish that Frame and masculinity.

• Determine if your son would be open to you reestablishing a relationship from a Red Pill aware position. His own Blue Pill conditioning may make that difficult. Look for moments when he’s hurting from a woman’s rejection as opportunity.

• Be prepared and look for those opportunities to reconnect and unplug your son. Have your Red Pill aware wisdom ready, but be sensitive in how you deliver it. Don’t be an overt asshole, take a covert, gradual approach.

• Maintain your own Red Pill awareness and masculinity. Be the masculine example your son needs, not the weak, emasculated father the Feminine Imperative would have of you.

• Be there for your son during painful moments of trauma or rejection from women. Help open his eyes to the underlying Red Pill dynamics at work. Use your own experiences as examples.

• Have difficult conversations and share hard truths to steer your son away from the treachery of the Feminine Imperative. Give him the wisdom that will sustain him in a feminine-primary world.

• Accept that your son may hold some resentment for you and your choices. But work to make that resentment be based on Red Pill aware truths rather than the comfortable Blue Pill lies. Have moments of connection over typically masculine activities.

• Be the asshole father who teaches his son the right way, even if it stings at first. That pain will avoid the greater pain of never knowing and a lifetime of Blue Pill servitude.

• Maintain your Red Pill frame and awareness, not for yourself, but for your son and any other men who would benefit from your wisdom. Be an example of the masculine that contradicts the narrative of the Feminine Imperative.

  • First, start by engaging your son in low-pressure, casual activities to rebuild your connection. Don’t talk about his mother or your relationship issues. Show him positive masculinity through your actions.

  • Don’t force the “red pill” ideology on him. Let him come to those realizations on his own by witnessing your positive example. Be patient through what will likely be a long process.

  • Understand that your ex-wife and any stepfathers may have practiced “parental alienation”, poisoning your son against you. Your son may have adopted the stepfather as a father figure. Be prepared to counter those influences through demonstrating strong, positive masculinity and leadership.

  • Live the “red pill” life and show your son the potential benefits through your own relationships and lifestyle. Let him see what is possible by emulating you. Don’t just tell him, show him.

  • Mentor other young men in addition to your son. You can be a positive role model and counter “blue pill” conditioning for more boys than just your own. Look for opportunities to guide boys and be a leader.

  • Be very cautious and calibrated in how you deal with a daughter. Recognize how societal influences and choices in her college years could negatively impact her. Consider limiting college options to allow greater oversight. But also be aware that too much control can backfire. Calibration and leadership are key.

  • There is a tendency for people, especially women, to fear the worst in college environments due to “rape hysteria” and moral panic. But also recognize that more freedom and less oversight in those environments can in fact lead to poor choices and outcomes. Careful guidance and leadership are needed to navigate this.

The overall themes are: lead by positive example, be patient but persistent, counter negative influences when needed, show the benefits of a strong masculine path, and exercise caution and calibration - especially with daughters. The process will be long, but reconnecting with and guiding your children is vital. But the approach must be careful, strategic and leadership-focused.

The host of a radio show asked callers to share stories of how they used to be more promiscuous in their youth but have now settled down. Many women called in and confessed to having adventurous sex lives in their 20s before getting married and having children. The host speculated that these women were now living vicariously through their daughters’ own sexual explorations.

According to studies, women now outnumber men in higher education. However, birth rates are declining and women are delaying marriage. The author argues that empowering women and girls is now the dominant narrative in society. As a result, young girls are conditioned from an early age to see themselves as naturally superior to boys. They are taught that they can have exciting and adventure-filled lives with few consequences or responsibilities.

The author warns “red pill” fathers to be aware of how their daughters are being influenced by this narrative. Society, media, schools, and even extracurricular activities like Girl Scouts preach messages of female empowerment and giving girls traditionally male opportunities and roles. While it may seem supportive to encourage daughters to pursue male-dominated hobbies and careers, it can interfere with their natural development and gender identities.

The desire to avoid seeming like a “bad father” can pressure men into enthusiastically endorsing and financing their daughters’ participation in activities like football, wrestling, and other rough sports that pit them against boys. However, there are real physical differences between boys and girls that put the latter at risk of injury. The belief that these differences are insignificant comes from an idealistic view of equality that ignores biology.

Red pill fathers may be tempted to relate to their daughters like sons, but they must be careful not to override their daughters’ feminine identities and natural interests. While their wives and society push narratives of female empowerment and independence, red pill fathers need to recognize their daughters’ needs and limitations as girls. Raising daughters requires supporting their healthy femininity, not encouraging them to imitate masculinity.

In summary, the author is advising fathers to be aware of societal pressures that can influence their daughters’ development and to make sure they raise their girls to become feminine, responsible women. While empowerment and opportunity are good, they need to balance with an appreciation for identity and biology. Red pill fathers in particular must maintain this perspective and not get caught up in competitive dynamics that treat their daughters like surrogate sons.

• We live in an age where women complain about lack of marriageable men due to unrealistic expectations of “equalist” relationships. Many women delay or forego motherhood due to inability to find compatible mates. They were taught that men should defer to them yet also be traditionally masculine.

• The ideal education for a girl is to see positive examples of masculinity from her father. Girls with weak or absent fathers often develop “daddy issues” and make poor relationship choices. The father is key to developing proper gender roles and Hypergamous understanding.

• In marriage, the man must maintain a dominant Frame and the woman should defer to him. How the wife responds and defers to the man’s Amused Mastery is key to modeling proper gender roles for children. A weak, submissive man is worse for children’s views of gender than an absent father.

• To have a successful LTR, the man must go Alpha, not remain Beta. This is difficult if the woman is used to the Beta partner, but generating genuine desire requires anxiety and sexual tension, not comfort and security. The ideal is for the woman to believe she mellowed the Alpha man.

• Relationship advice from divorced women and “pussy-whipped” men should be disregarded. The key issue in most relationships is lack of desire, not lack of sex.

• Additional principles for a good LTR include: the man should remain irrationally self-confident, the woman should be competing for the man’s attention, the man should avoid too much comfort/familiarity and never leave the relationship up to the woman.

• Though it can be “work”, a successful LTR can be maintained by applying Game principles. It is worth the effort for those seeking marriage and children. But men should only consider it if that is their deliberate choice, not because they feel obligated.

  • Desire, not interest levels or frequency of sex, is key to a healthy sex life in long-term relationships. Getting a wife/partner genuinely motivated to want sex requires effort and the right approach.

  • Making a partner uncomfortable in a controlled way can prompt desire by giving them anxiety that the relationship could be at risk. Subtly implying things have changed and withdrawing affection/attention can achieve this. Buying gifts will not inspire real desire.

  • Staying in shape and attractive maintains arousal and sparks competition for attention, stoking desire. Letting yourself go physically kills desire.

  • Alcohol reduces inhibitions but also reduces performance and desire. Sober sex is best. Having sex at the right point in a woman’s menstrual cycle and after exercise also maximizes desire.

  • Predictability and boredom reduce desire. Spontaneity and new experiences boost desire. “Date nights” and other predictable activities do not help in the long run.

  • Ultimately, maintaining desire requires implying the relationship is at some risk to create anxiety, withdrawing affection/attention as punishment and reward, staying attractive, and introducing spontaneity. The key is creating genuine desire, not obligatory sex.

The summary outlines some controversial tactics for manipulating a partner’s desire that some may consider unethical. The key argument seems to be that in long-term monogamous relationships, desire naturally declines over time through familiarity and boredom, so consciously applying certain techniques is required to counteract this and maintain a sex life, however, the ethics are questionable.

  • In any relationship, the person who cares less and needs the other person less has more power and control. In marriage, the wife typically has more power over her husband if he puts her in the position of being the gatekeeper of sex.

  • Women’s solipsism means a woman’s mind is the only one she is sure exists. Women perceive the world through a lens of how things affect and relate to them. This solipsism is inborn and helps with self-preservation but leads to a lack of consideration for men’s experiences.

  • An example is Hillary Clinton’s quote that women are the primary victims of war because they lose their male relatives and have to raise children alone. This view ignores the direct suffering and death of the actual male casualties of war. It is solipsistic.

  • Men often have trouble accepting women’s solipsistic nature due to egalitarian beliefs that men and women are fundamentally similar psychologically. But research shows they have different biological drives, imperatives, and strategies.

  • Women’s solipsistic nature was evolutionarily beneficial for protecting women and children in harsh, pre-modern times. But today, it often conflicts with and disadvantages men’s interests and imperatives in relationships. It contributes to female narcissism as women’s needs and interests are seen as primary.

  • While solipsism itself isn’t inherently bad and was necessary for female survival, we should not endorse the harmful behaviors and effects that arise from it today. We need to acknowledge women’s inborn solipsistic tendency but also hold them accountable as moral agents for the choices and behaviors it influences.

  • The cardinal rule of sexual strategies is that for one gender’s strategy to succeed, the other must compromise or abandon their own. There is a built-in conflict between male and female sexual strategies.

That covers the key highlights and arguments around female solipsism and its role in relationships between men and women. Please let me know if you would like me to clarify or expand on any part of the summary.

• Women’s mental point of origin is solipsism - a self-centeredness that prioritizes their own interests above all others. This is an evolutionary survival mechanism but comes at the cost of lack of empathy for men.

• Women are good at rationalizing to protect their self-perception. They don’t value objective truth as much as self-preservation. They can override their solipsism through learning and culture but it is their biological default.

• Examples of female solipsism include assuming the world revolves around their needs and priorities and that what benefits them will automatically benefit others. They have a hard time seeing other perspectives.

• Society reinforces female solipsism through its feminine-primary social order and by conditioning men to accept it and prioritize women’s needs. This becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.

• Female communication styles reflect their solipsism. They are covert, contextual, and self-focused, unlike male communication which is overt, blunt, and focused on information.

• The core of the feminine imperative is female solipsism. Society is built around it and ensures the sisterhood comes before all else.

• For men, accepting and reinforcing female solipsism only makes the cycle continue. They need to develop awareness of it in women and not feed into it in themselves or society.

The main takeaway is that female solipsism is a key part of the feminine psyche that must be understood. It has significant ramifications for male-female relationships and societal dynamics. Understanding it empowers men not to enable or amplify its effects. Recognizing its manifestations can help men better communicate with women and determine if a woman is capable of overcoming it enough for a long-term relationship. Overall, it highlights some of the fundamental challenges in creating a balanced relationship and society due to differences between the male and female nature.

  • The author is arguing that women tend to define their existence and self-worth based primarily on themselves and their own experiences. They believe they do not need external factors or relationships for their fulfillment and happiness. This self-centered view manifests in their communication styles and how they relate with others.

  • Women’s default communication style focuses on the feelings and personal contexts of the communication rather than the actual content and information being communicated. Their first instinct is to relate information back to themselves and their own experiences. They expect others to understand implicit backstories and details without needing to provide context. This self-centered style causes issues in communicating with men who prioritize content and objective information.

  • The self-centered tendencies of women stem from a solipsistic mindset, meaning they see themselves as the only or primary person of interest. Their experiences, feelings, and priorities are most important by default. They often have trouble understanding other perspectives or relating to experiences that differ from their own.

  • A woman’s solipsism causes problems in relationships as it conflicts with a man’s needs and priorities. For example, a woman may believe her children’s needs supersede her husband’s, even though a healthy marriage should prioritize the spousal relationship. A woman’s solipsism also makes it difficult for her to empathize with a man’s struggles or negative emotions, as his experiences differ from her own. She may lose attraction or seek to replace him.

  • In summary, the essay argues that women’s solipsistic tendencies and self-centered mindsets, which differ from typical male attitudes, cause issues within relationships and communication between men and women. A woman’s worldview revolves around herself by default, while men tend to be more outwardly focused. These differences need to be navigated for healthy relationships. Overall, the author takes a fairly critical stance on female solipsism.

The author broke a bone in his foot and was in immense pain. His wife and daughter dismissed his pain, saying men exaggerate and are babies about pain. The author argues this is because women fundamentally lack the ability to empathize with the male experience.

Women can sympathize with men’s pain but cannot truly empathize with and share the experience. Empathy requires a mutual understanding and sharing of emotions, which women’s solipsism prevents regarding the male experience.

Women’s solipsism and hypergamy mean they cannot accept a man could be incapacitated. Women see their role as nurturing children and the home, not protecting and providing for their man. A man’s pain is counter to the female imperative.

The female psyche has evolved defenses (“men are just big babies”) against even considering male incapacity and physical pain. They must believe men can always support and protect them.

Women confuse sympathy for empathy. They believe their nurturing character allows them to feel what a man feels, but they can’t share the actual experience. The “just get it” dynamic prevents real empathy.

Women determine what really hurts men and what doesn’t. If women control empathy, they control which men qualify for hypergamy. The myth of feminine intuition lets women feel they psychically experience others’ pain.

The beta male asking women why they rejected him is trying to apply deductive logic where it won’t work. Appealing to women’s reason is anti-seductive. Arousal depends on emotions, not logic. His follow up questions tried to convince women they should be attracted to him.

In summary, women fundamentally lack the ability to empathize with the male experience due to psychological adaptations against empathy for male incapacity and hypergamous solipsism. Apelas to women’s reason are pointless for attraction and dating.

• Women’s arousal and attraction operates at a subliminal level. It is not a logical or reasoning process. Asking a woman for advice on how to attract her is futile because she cannot rationally explain what she finds attractive. What she says and what she does are often contradictions.

• Women’s advice to men is more of a shit test than genuinely helpful. At some level, women know the advice they offer is not truly helpful. But it serves to filter out weak, overly compromising men. The men who “just get it” and see through the shit test are the attractive ones.

• The capacity to call a woman’s bluff with confidence is a trait of a desirable man. He does not take what women say at face value but reads her behaviors and sees her conflicting words as a challenge. He does not need to be told how to act dominantly and decisively. His dominance is authentic.

• Women want men to observe them, understand them and know what they really want without having to be told. A man who needs to be told how to be dominant or what women want is seen as weak and uncompelling. Dominance must be authentic.

• The article on “human estrus” suggests that women may have subtle fertility cues, like an estrus in other animals. Their mate preferences and behaviors may fluctuate subtly with their menstrual cycle. The most desirable males are those who can perceive and respond to these cues without needing to be told. This is evidence of their superior genetics and mating potential.

• The author faced resistance when applying behavioral psychology concepts to interpersonal relationships, especially for suggesting that women commonly employ the same behavior modification techniques on men to achieve their goals. This was seen as offensive, even though men using such techniques on women was expected and even encouraged. There is a gynocentric resistance to viewing women’s mating strategies with the same lens as men’s. But science is revealing more evidence that the underlying dynamics for both sexes are similar, even if the manifestations differ.

That covers the key highlights and arguments around women’s subliminal communication of desire and their dubious dating advice. The main thrust is that women say they want one thing but actually respond to something quite different. And the most desirable males are those who understand this intuitively without needing to be told. Their capacity to read between the lines is a display of superior mating potential.

  • The author discusses how his theories proposing that women have an evolved pre-knowledge of intersexual dynamics were met with resistance, especially from academic circles. He credits evolutionary psychologists like Martie Haselton for providing a theoretical framework that supports many of his observations.

  • The author discusses how the concept of hypergamy, or women’s dual mating strategy of finding both high-status (“alpha”) and high-investment (“beta”) males, was initially resisted but has now been embraced with the rise of “open hypergamy.” Women are now openly relishing this strategy.

  • The author quotes a woman saying that as women outearn and outeducate men, they will have their pick of attractive mates regardless of those males’ financial status. The author says this view is contradicted by research showing that women’s attraction cues shift over their menstrual cycle based on fertility. When fertile, women are most attracted to behaviors and features associated with dominance and masculinity. This suggests females have an “estrus” state that motivates their dualistic mating strategy.

  • The research on women’s attraction over the menstrual cycle shows that when fertile, women exhibit a stronger attraction to dominance, assertiveness, masculinity, and “sexy cad” behaviors in males. This indicates women have an evolved estrus-like state that drives hypergamy and maximizes the odds of passing on the best genetics. This estrus state also provides a biological basis for many core principles of pickup artistry and red pill philosophy that the author has proposed.

  • The author argues that with the embrace of openly revealed hypergamy in recent years, the reality of this estrus state in females becomes undeniable. Whereas before, when hypergamy was concealed, it could be attributed primarily to social constructs, now it’s clear it has a strong biological basis in women. This confirms much of what the author has proposed about intersexual dynamics over the years.

That covers the main highlights and arguments around the estrus theory of female mating psychology proposed in the essays. Please let me know if you would like me to clarify or expand on any part of the summary.

  • Women’s sexuality is dualistic, encompassing both short-term (Alpha) and long-term (Beta) mating strategies. This is evident in women’s estrous cycle, during which women display different mating preferences and behaviors at different cycle stages.

  • During peak fertility in the estrous cycle (proceptivity phase), women tend to prefer and pursue short-term mating with desirable Alpha males. This maximizes the chances of high-quality offspring.

  • Outside of peak fertility, women tend to prefer and pursue long-term mating and parental investment from Beta males. This helps ensure resources and security for themselves and any potential offspring.

  • Women have evolved to subtly conceal cues of their fertility status and cycle stages. This may have helped women facilitate extra-pair mating with Alphas and secure commitment from Betas. Subtle fertility cues that “leak” during the estrous cycle may also help women filter for more perceptive and dominant Alphas.

  • The estrous cycle and women’s dualistic mating strategy operate on both the individual level (in romantic relationships) as well as the social level (in popular culture). On the social level, we see the embrace of “Open Hypergamy” and the Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks dynamic.

  • The estrous cycle creates a degree of sexual unpredictability from the perspective of men. This intermittent reinforcement of sex helps motivate both Alpha and Beta males to invest in women for the potential of future sexual access, even if paternity is uncertain.

  • An understanding of women’s estrus and dualistic mating strategy is important to develop a comprehensive perspective on intersexual dynamics, hypergamy, and contemporary social issues like feminism.

That covers the main highlights and arguments around women’s estrous sexuality and how it influences mating dynamics between men and women. Please let me know if you would like me to clarify or expand on any part of the summary.

  • Men are realizing that relating with women, especially in the current sociosexual climate, is not worth the effort and investment required. It is pragmatically preferable for men to turn to more readily available sexual outlets like pornography.

  • A woman’s estrus cycle and Hypergamy are not insurmountable and can be overcome by a high-value man who triggers her cues for Alpha attraction. Women will have sex with these men even when not in their fertile phase. They may even fake orgasms to secure these men. The takeaway is that men should understand female biological drives and utilize them rather than being subject to them.

  • The epiphany phase that usually occurs for women in their late 20s and early 30s, when the reality of their declining ability to attract high-value mates sets in, seems to also often correspond with women embracing more stringent rules around sex and intimacy. However, their willingness to break their own rules for an “alpha” man shows that their moral compass essentially follows whatever benefits their hypergamous drives.

  • Beta men and “quality women” are social conventions. In reality, women who have followed an unrestricted sociosexual strategy in their youth may enact more rules and qualifications for beta males even as they age and their attractiveness declines. However, they will readily break those rules for an alpha man. The notion of the epiphany phase leading to women “getting right with God” and settling down with a good man is usually a rationale to make beta men believe they have a chance at a woman who wouldn’t give them the time of day in her prime.

  • In summary, a woman’s sexual strategy and optimizing of hypergamy essentially dictate her moral compass rather than the other way around.

• Women love the fantasy of the “reformed slut” who realizes the error of her ways and saves her best sex for the nice guy she should have been with all along. This appeals to blue pill men who see it as a validation of their patience and perseverance. In reality, the woman is simply securing the man’s resources and commitment.

• Socially, a woman is reinforced for this epiphany by both men and women. However, bringing this to light is seen as “judgemental” by popular culture. The social support system will rationalize a woman’s choices to help her avoid confronting the wall and allow her to find security.

• A woman in her epiphany phase may hesitate to give herself fully to the beta provider despite him meeting all her stated requirements. This is because she is conflicted between what she knows will provide security, and her hindbrain’s urge for an exciting alpha lover. She is trying to convince herself to become sexual with a man she wouldn’t normally be aroused by.

• The beta man believes he deserves a “quality woman’s” sexuality and commitment due to his patience and virtue. However, her hesitation comes from a lack of genuine arousal and sexual urgency, not a need to test his worth. His participation in her epiphany only serves to reinforce the narrative that her past indifference to beta traits was “societies” fault.

• A woman must engage in an internal negotiation between her super ego and id. Her super ego knows the beta can provide security, but her id still craves alpha traits and sexuality. She is trying to reconcile her visceral needs with her long term interests. The beta male has been preparing to be a dependable provider but cannot satisfy her base urges.

• The “Plan B” relationship where the woman settles for a beta after enjoying her fill of alphas offers limited genuine desire and enthusiasm. The beta is expected to work to earn what the alphas enjoyed freely due to a presumption of abundance in her prime. However, this abundance mentality continues even into monogamy, fostered by popular culture and feminism. The beta will thus always be compared to the excitement of past alphas.

In summary, women’s epiphanies are not as sincere as they seem. They are a rationalization for securing beta resources and commitment when a woman can no longer attract her visceral alpha ideal. While portrayed as a moral awakening, it is really a result of necessity. The beta male is a consolation prize who will be judged based on presumptions of abundance that linger in a woman even after settling.

  • Women are able to convince themselves and others that they can perpetually remain in a state of abundance and attractiveness. This allows them to avoid accountability for the consequences of their hypergamous choices.

  • Most men have been conditioned to serve women’s sexual strategy. They are taught to wait for a woman to reach the epiphany phase when she shifts her priorities from attracting alpha males to finding a beta provider. These men believe their patience has finally paid off, unaware that they are fulfilling a feminine imperative.

  • Women develop failsafe plans to have a backup man in case their primary partner does not fulfill their needs. At least half of women in relationships have a “Plan B” man ready in case their current relationship ends. One in five women’s Plan B is a friend and one in ten have already tried to become intimate with their Plan B.

  • The Plan B dynamic shows that women need constant validation to quell their hypergamous doubts. It also shows how beta and cuckoldry have become normalized for men.

  • Men should be aware of the Plan B dynamic, know the signs that it is present in their own relationships, and determine if it is worth the effort to reestablish their alpha status. For married men, it may be better to leave rather than desperately trying to regain a woman’s respect.

  • Betas who find themselves with women in the epiphany phase often believe their patience and perseverance have finally paid off. However, they fail to realize they are just fulfilling the feminine imperative to be providers for women who can no longer attract alpha males. They have been conditioned to serve women’s sexual strategy.

  • In summary, the key ideas are: hypergamous choice, abundance validation, failsafe plans, feminine imperative, and the epiphany phase. Women seek to maximize their options and avoid accountability while the feminine imperative conditions most men to obediently serve women’s interests.

Here are the main points summarized:

  1. Prior to the Sexual Revolution, there were established social contracts between men and women that came with certain expectations. For men, provisioning and meeting a “burden of performance” was integral to their identity and appeal to women. Losing the ability to meet this performance burden was emasculating.

  2. There is nostalgia for the pre-Sexual Revolution era, especially as Manosphere men age. However, both men and women were still subject to human nature and adapted to the social environment to enact their sexual strategies. The era was not idealistic as portrayed today.

  3. Women adapted to the lack of men during World War II by relaxing morals and having more promiscuous sex, as well as a higher rate of illegitimate children and abortions. The absence of men led to women “enjoying themselves” more and considerations of fidelity decreased.

  4. The highest rates of illegitimate births and abortions were not among teenagers but actually women aged 20-30 during the war. So, the more mature women seemed to take more advantage of the relaxed morals than younger women.

  5. In conclusion, while there was a set of social contracts prior to the Sexual Revolution with certain expectations, men and women have always adapted to the environment to pursue their sexual strategies. The wartime era saw a relaxation of morals and more promiscuous sex as women adapted to the lack of men, even though today we tend to nostalgically romanticize that pre-Sexual Revolution time. But it was not idealistic and human nature persisted.

The main takeaway is that there is a tendency to view the past as more idealistic than the present, but human nature has persisted throughout different eras and moral climates. Both men and women adapt to the social environment of the time to enact their sexual strategies. So while we may look back fondly on the era prior to the Sexual Revolution, it was not perfect and men and women were still subject to hypergamy, promiscuity, and other aspects of human sexuality. The wartime era demonstrates how women adapted to scarcity of men by relaxing morals and restraints on their sexuality.

  • The post-WWII era of “Free Love” resulted in an egalitarian social contract between men and women based on presumptions of mutual trust that each sex would honor the other’s interests.

  • Under this contract, women’s hypergamy and men’s sexual strategy could theoretically flourish as women gained more control of their hypergamy via birth control and men had unlimited sexual access.

  • However, these presumptions contradicted human’s evolved biology and arousal functions. Biology trumps conviction, and while feminism blamed men for not cooperating, women also contradicted themselves with their own evolved natures.

  • As the “Free Love” landscape solidified in the 1970s, men adapted their sexual strategies to this new environment where quick, no-strings-attached sex was the expectation. Men began learning “Game” to adapt to women’s hypergamy and capitalize on their testosterone-driven sexuality.

  • The Supreme Court’s Roe v. Wade decision legalizing abortion accelerated women’s true hypergamy. Women now had the power to dictate the terms of both pre and post-conception sexual encounters and relationships.

  • Whereas early feminists believed “Free Love” meant less obligation to men, women instead embraced their opportunistic hypergamy and used their newfound power under “Free Love” to pursue their dualistic sexual strategy. Men adapted in turn, giving rise to “Players” and modern “Game.”

  • The sexual revolution’s attempt to normalize women’s Hypergamy and provide unlimited sexuality to men failed because it contradicted human biology. The realities of each sex’s sexuality and strategies remained an influence. All that changed was how they were expressed under the new socio-sexual environment.

Here’s a summary:

  • The widespread adoption of hormonal birth control and safe abortion in the mid-20th century gave women more control over their reproductive and hypergamous choices. However, most women didn’t fully grasp the implications of this unprecedented power.

  • The “Free Love” movement promoted socially acceptable premarital sex and uncommitted relationships, But the biological realities for both sexes were quite different. Women could delay commitment, but still had a strong desire for alpha males and long term provisioning. Macho men adapted by embracing both women’s sexual openness as well as their primal desires. They had a lot of casual sex but also used game and charisma to attract women.

  • The chart shows how dating has evolved over the past 70 years. All conventional forms of meeting partners (through family, friends, church, etc.) have declined sharply. Meanwhile, bars and online dating have skyrocketed. This suggests that intense male courtship displays and women’s focus on themselves as the center of attention have become more prominent.

  • Hypergamy creates constant doubt and insecurity in women. Social conventions and institutions arose in part to reassure women, silence their doubts, and convince men to comply with the hypergamous process. The notion that “ keeping your wife happy leads to a happy life” is one such example. These conventions facilitate and pacify hypergamy.

  • The Free Love movement is often associated with hippies and Woodstock. But earlier renditions existed long before that, as humans have always struggled with adapting sexual and social mores to technological and economic changes. Each incarnation of Free Love has been based on the same root reasoning: the desire for radical freedom of sexual expression unfettered from social contrivances. However, the unintended consequences are often unforeseen before the fallout. The most recent version resulted in today’s panorama of dysfunctions.

In summary, the events of the mid-20th century unleashed women’s hypergamy, but it took decades for the full implications to become apparent. Both men and women employed various strategies to navigate these changes, with some notable long term consequences for relationships and society.

• There have been several “Free Love” movements throughout history that challenged traditional sexual morality and marriage. These include the Essenes, early Christians called the Adamites, the followers of Mazdak in 6th-century Persia, and radical intellectuals allied with the French Revolution.

• These movements often shared ideals of vegetarianism, pacifism, communalism, and rejection of private property and marriage. They saw marriage and sexual fidelity as oppressive and believed free love would lead to emotional authenticity and personal freedom.

• The rise of Enlightenment ideals and feminism in the 19th century led to another resurgence of free love philosophy. Key figures included the poet William Blake, who advocated for free love, polygamy, and saw marriage and sexual jealousy as restrictive.

• The sexual revolution and counterculture movements of the 1960s and 70s were another period that emphasized free love, rejection of social norms around sexuality, and experimentation. This period shaped current Western ideals around sexuality, relationships and egalitarianism.

• The rise of “Fempowerment” and sensitive, supportive Beta males in the 1980s placed women’s imperatives, goals, and “high selves” at the center. Beta men adapted by supporting women’s endeavors, sacrificing their interests, and suppressing conventional masculinity. This furthered the rise of female entitlement.

• Although women have become more empowered and masculinized in some ways, female Hypergamy - the desire for security and optimization from the masculine - is more dominant now than ever. Feminism still cannot override women’s biological drives.

• The infiltration of traditionally male spaces and roles by women is less about women becoming men, and more about the expectation that men adapt their masculinity to accommodate women. The feminine imperative pushes for inclusion in male domains, but female attraction to masculinity persists.

• In summary, the rise of feminine empowerment and free love philosophies has led to a progressive loss of traditional gender roles, but women still crave masculine dominance and security in their relationships. The result is confusion, dissatisfaction, and a loss of meaning for both sexes.

The key points in the summary are:

  1. The push for women into traditionally male spaces is primarily driven by a desire to assert the Feminine Imperative for social control, not out of a genuine passion for the endeavor or activity. The goal is to be the “first woman” to break the gender barrier, not to achieve excellence or innovation in that space.

  2. Once women have access to male spaces, the dynamics change to shift the priorities and purpose of that group to adhere to the Feminine Imperative. The focus moves away from the endeavor itself to whether the group is acceptable and inclusive of feminine influence. Failure or mediocrity is blamed on the men in the group for not complying.

  3. The concept of “Bro Culture” is a social convention created by feminists to shame and exert control over traditionally masculine male bonding activities and spaces. The threat is that male cooperation and unity work against the interests of the Feminine Imperative.

  4. High-functioning Betas and feminized men are uncomfortable with conventional masculinity and male shit-talking due to a belief that it is aberrant behavior. However, it serves an evolutionary purpose to determine fitness and foster cooperation. Infighting amongst men in female-inserted spaces is the goal.

  5. Co-opting and controlling all-male communication and spaces makes it easier to promote a sense of responsibility to feminine-primary needs, facilitating the creation of Beta providers and supporters of the feminine agenda. Losing traditionally masculine forms of male interaction hinders men’s ability to hone and test each other.

The summary outlines how the feminine-primary social agenda uses access to male spaces and control of masculine communication as a means to limit male bonding activities that don’t adhere to their narrative. Social conventions like “Bro Culture” are used to shame masculinity while transformed dynamics in mixed groups promote compliance with feminine-defined expectations. The ultimate goal is to mold a supportive Beta base that suppresses conventional masculinity.

  • The desire to turn men against each other by pitting sexual rivals against one another is an effort by women to curb the power of men as a collective. This infighting limits men’s ability to unite in their own interests.

  • The manosphere, as a collective of male experiences and communication, is an example of men coming together despite the efforts of the Feminine Imperative to disrupt that. However, the Feminine Imperative still tries to control and contain the manosphere through criticism, inclusion of women, and by controlling the narrative.

  • The Feminine Imperative uses shaming tactics like “misogynist” and binaries (you’re either with us or against us) to silence dissent and criticism of feminist ideals or women’s imperatives. The true intent of feminism is women’s empowerment, not egalitarianism.

  • Men today are held accountable for perceived past wrongs to women simply due to being men. Masculinity and male interests are seen as impediments to the Feminine Imperative.

  • Concepts like “male privilege” and “mansplaining” are used to silence men’s inconvenient observations about women’s choices, priorities or nature. There is a default presumption of male guilt, for example regarding sexual assault.

  • The spread of the Feminine Imperative, like a cancer, is global. Even in seemingly patriarchal societies, the Feminine Imperative slowly gains ground and control. Bit by bit, the Feminine Imperative encroaches on societies through Western culture and dominates the narrative. Every “liberation” of women is celebrated as a victory over the supposed tyranny of men.

  • In conclusion, despite beliefs that some societies are immune to the Feminine Imperative, its influence will likely spread there over time through gradual steps or in leaps and bounds. No society is truly free from the efforts of the Feminine Imperative to establish control. The spread of feminist ideals, like cancer, is a global phenomenon.

  • Feminism and egalitarianism are failed ideologies because they require men to abandon their own interests and natural instincts in order to support women’s imperatives.

  • For the past few generations, there have been efforts to socially re-engineer boys and men to become “better betas” - men who reinforce and support women’s interests. This effort has been primarily focused on western cultures.

  • There is a “fempowerment” agenda that promotes the empowerment of women in every area of society while discouraging any criticism of women or femininity. This agenda handicaps men and pushes an unrealistic vision of women’s triumph over men.

  • Simply opting out of relationships with women or society will not stop the spread of feminism. Men must find ways to actively confront and counter feminism and the fempowerment agenda. They must spread awareness of the “red pill” truths about gender dynamics and lead by example in their own lives.

  • Men must exercise whatever power they have left to spread the red pill message in a tactful yet firm way. They cannot acquiesce to a feminine-primary society that demands their surrender. Men did not evolve to give up their power and spirit.

  • Feminism and the fempowerment agenda have ultimately failed because men cannot be evolved or socially re-engineered to abandon their own interests and dominance. Life will always find a way to assert itself.

The summary argues that feminism fails fundamentally because it goes against human nature - men’s natural instincts to pursue their own interests and dominance. The only way to truly counter feminism is for men to actively and unapologetically assert themselves against the feminist narrative, spread red pill ideas, and lead by example in their own lives. Simply escaping or avoiding the issue will not make it go away. Men must work to gradually change culture and raise awareness from the ground up.

The key points in the passages are:

  1. Feminism and egalitarianism will ultimately fail because human nature favors conventional gender roles and male dominance. The male sexual strategy depends on dominance and feminine submission.

  2. In society and politics, the interests of women are given priority over men’s. Men have little power or choice in areas like fatherhood, family courts, and parental responsibilities. The system is designed to empower women at the expense of men.

  3. Feminine primacy shapes society and politics to optimize hypergamy, the female sexual strategy. This creates insecurity in women that is remedied by gaining power over men. Legislation and culture then reinforce this by promoting women’s interests.

  4. Laws around sexual consent, rape, harassment, and abortion primarily serve to give women control over the hypergamous process and optimize their sexual strategy. They create insecurity by making men responsible for women’s choices.

  5. The feminist movement, laws, cultural norms, and marriage/relationships subordinate men to women’s interests. Women feel entitled to men’s material support, provisioning, and deference with little reciprocal obligation.

  6. As more men become aware of these realities, the feminine-primary system will increasingly mandate men’s compliance through legislation and laws. Those who reject it will be punished by the “sisterhood uber alles.”

  7. The author argues politics should be avoided in the discussion of sexual strategies and dynamics between the sexes. However, the feminist movement has made the personal political, and it must be addressed to understand social trends.

The overall perspective is one of female dominance and male subservience in society, which the author sees as problematic and contrary to human nature. The key factor driving these changes is the female sexual strategy of hypergamy and women’s desire for control over it.

  • The Feminine Imperative has been broadly adopted across western cultures, secular and religious. It unites women of all backgrounds in prioritizing women’s interests.

  • The Feminine Imperative aims to rewrite social rules and norms to benefit women, even if it means altering foundational principles of institutions. Its power comes from the fact that it has been normalized across the political spectrum and social fabric.

  • The Manosphere and Red Pill awareness threaten the Feminine Imperative because they reject its narrative. The Imperative tries to vilify these ideas, but struggles because they cross political, social and religious lines. The ideas are bigger than any one ideology.

  • Open Hypergamy and acceptance of female sexuality are steps towards normalized cuckoldry - where women openly pursue the best genes and the best provider. Cuckoldry allows women to optimize Hypergamy. However, it will not be called “cuckoldry” due to the negative connotation. Instead, alternative terms will be used to make it more palatable, e.g. “open marriage”, “polyamory”.

  • At first, cuckoldry will be marketed as giving more choice and better sex and relationships. Eventually, men may be socially conditioned to accept cuckoldry as part of their role. Just as open Hypergamy has become more mainstream, cuckoldry may follow.

  • Examples show how cuckoldry is already being normalized, e.g. the Forevermark ad about the woman forgetting her past “Firemen, Sailors and Rockstars”. The Red Pill lens is needed to look beyond the surface humor and see the disturbing truth and dynamics at play.

  • The current state of affairs is one of increasing disengagement between men and women. However, a critical point may eventually be reached that triggers a reaction against the spread of cuckoldry and reassertion of conventional monogamy. But there is no way of knowing exactly what the trigger will be.

That covers the key points around how the Feminine Imperative has spread cuckoldry, the narrative it uses to sell it to the mainstream, examples showing its normalization, and possibilities of how things may unfold from here. Please let me know if you would like me to clarify or expand on any part of the summary.

Here are a few highlights from my writing on intersexual dynamics between men:


Historically, human males would form tribes with a mix of intrasexual (male-male) and intersexual (male-female) friendships based on mutual survival and cooperation. Men just being “nice guys” to each other because of women wasn’t a thing. Male tribes and alliances were bonded by interdependence and survival. Today’s feminized bromances or even close male friendships are based on the opposite – validating each other’s insecurities and relying on each other to help them achieve intimacy with women. These are not ‘tribes’ in the Darwinistic sense; they’re really just male support groups to help each other with their Game. The tribal dynamic is altogether different.

Male Space

In tribal societies men would collaborate and plan their common goals as a team, not as rivals or competitors. Men’s realms were also exclusively male spaces, places in their environment where women were not allowed except for necessity. The center hut, the communal fire, the defensive perimeter, etc. Some part of a masculinized portion of society or social institution was set aside for the exclusive company of men. And in fact, cultures evolved to organize male hierarchies and associations on the principle of space.

The inherent understanding that, as a man, you should want to spend less time with your mother and more time with you father – preferably away from the direction of your mother, and to one degree or another you accept that your mother should have primary parental authority while your father had a more peripheral role – these are vestiges of Male Space. Your desire to spread your own wings and egress into wider, independent exploration as a male was a result of your innate drive to disperse from the mother’s sphere of influence. This is why boys and young men have always organized themselves into close-knit packs or gangs, usually on the fringes of society. To disperse from maternal authority and gravitate towards male spheres of influence.

Many a mother has had to chastise her rambunctious teenage son to ‘stay out of trouble’ or ’get back home after dark‘. Little did she know the lifelong benefits that only those troubles and the learning from other men would influence on her son. The estrangement of boys from their male identity and the male tribe starts in infancy, and it starts with the first separation from his mother that a child experiences. Usually younger boys cling to their mother’s sphere of influence, but male instincts eventually drive them towards independence from their mother’s authority. This is the first step towards identifying with the masculine.

The importance of male relationships and support groups cannot be overstated for a man’s well-being and health today. Positive intersexual relationships begin with a positive understanding of oneself as a man. As Rollo and many others have described, today’s world is not set up to naturally provide space for male relationships. But making the effort to establish those relationships is worth it.

  • Men and women have fundamentally different ways of communicating due to evolutionary adaptations. Men communicate to exchange information and solve problems, while women communicate more for socio-emotional reasons and bonding.

  • The feminine imperative aims to condition men to communicate like women and see the feminine way as the normatively correct way. This is an effort to divide men and control them.

  • Men tend to form specific interest-based tribes, while women have a stronger in-group bias and tend to associate with other women across interests. The “sisterhood” represents a unitary tribe for women that trumps other subgroups. This gynocentric tribalism gives women social power.

  • A “brotherhood” of men is difficult to form and sustain because it is seen as threatening to the feminine imperative. Men organizing and aware of their own value reduces women’s control in intersexual dynamics, even if it’s appealing on other levels.

  • Anything that gives men more power and agency and reduces women’s control is seen as threatening to the feminine imperative. This includes things like the Red Pill, game, and men coming together in masculine spaces. These things must be vilified and discouraged.

  • In conclusion, the feminine imperative conditions men and undermines male tribalism in order to maximize women’s control of intersexual dynamics and optimize hypergamy. The narrative is that what benefits women should benefit men and that male power and self-interest are misogynistic and dangerous. In reality, gynocentrism only benefits women, often at the expense of men.

The key ideas are that men and women have intrinsically different ways of communicating and forming relationships, but feminism pushes a narrative that the feminine way is the correct and only acceptable way. This effort to control men serves to benefit women and the feminine sexual strategy while limiting men’s ability to pursue their interests and achieve self-determination. A difficult but necessary step for men is to understand these dynamics, resist internalizing this narrative, build self-awareness, and when possible form their own masculine spaces and “tribe.”

  • The feminine imperative or women’s interests seek to control male behavior and communication. Allowing men to define masculinity for themselves threatens female primacy and control.

  • There have been efforts to confuse and de-masculinize men by creating ambiguity around what constitutes authentic masculinity. This results in men feeling discomfort in traditionally male spaces and in interacting as men. Many men today identify more with the feminine. This suppresses male connection and group interaction.

  • However, men have an evolved drive for male tribalism and interaction with the world. Some ways to counter the feminine imperative and promote male tribalism include:

  1. Focus on action and purpose, not just talk. Men need a shared purpose and goals to unite them.

  2. Accept that male hierarchies will form and that they are natural, not necessarily toxic. Male authority is not inherently evil patriarchy.

  3. Recognize and build male sub-tribes but avoid labeling them as such. Do not discuss them openly as “male groups”. They should exist for a purpose other than just men coming together. Announcing groups as male groups leads to accommodation of female interests.

  4. Do not accommodate women in male spaces. Make no concessions to women. Fear of not accommodating women stifles male group interaction.

  5. Push back on women invading male spaces by being uncompromising in male interests. Do not fear female judgment or primacy.

In summary, the key is for men to unapologetically pursue their own interests, purposes and interactions with other men to counterbalance female control and promote male empowerment. Building better individual agency and group identity among men will enable them to overcome limitation and better self-determination.

• The Feminine Imperative seeks to destroy conventional masculinity and maleness from within male spaces by promoting feminine-primary mindsets. This is done through promoting anonymous White Knighting and casting doubts on passions and actions that exclude feminine interests. Tribes and organizations should reject these compromising attitudes.

• The strategies for resisting the Feminine Imperative apply at a social scale. They include maintaining a male-exclusive mental point of origin, objective Red Pill observations, and bottom-up unplugging of men from Blue Pill conditioning.

• Rites of passage that affirm masculinity have been lacking. This has stunted men’s identities and purpose. There is a universal, evolved conventional masculinity, though cultures express it differently. It should not be confused with “traditional masculinity,” a derogatory term.

• Feminine centrism teaches boys from an early age to loathe their maleness. This prevents them from internalizing that they should put their interests first. The Feminine Imperative then tells men their self-defined masculinity is correct and healthy.

• In an “equal” world, there is no default male authority, even in private spheres like the home. This contradicts evolution and serves the Feminine Imperative’s control over masculinity. Some push-back is coming through the spread of Hypergamy awareness and Red Pill ideas. The Feminine Imperative criminalizes conventional male attributes in response.

• Blue Pill conditioning makes men put the Feminine Imperative first, instead of themselves. Red Pill men see through this and put their interests first. But Blue Pill men are stuck seeking female approval and risking their reputations if they offend. Equalism keeps men from their own mental point of origin.

• “Pedestalization” refers to men idealizing women above themselves due to their equalist conditioning. This mindset makes whatever woman is the focus the center of a man’s headspace. It stems from childhood training to put female concerns above one’s own.

The summary covers the major points related to how the Feminine Imperative seeks to control masculinity covertly and overtly at a social scale. It elucidates the impacts of equalist Blue Pill conditioning on men and how it serves feminine primacy. The means of resisting these forces by way of Red Pill awareness and replacing the female mental point of origin with a male one are also highlighted.

The key points are:

  1. Men are conditioned from an early age to put the needs and interests of women above their own. This is portrayed as being “honorable” but in reality serves the interests of the feminine imperative.

  2. Once a man becomes “red pill aware”, he rejects this conditioning and puts his own interests first. He stops putting women on a pedestal. This is seen as threatening by the feminine imperative.

  3. Boys are conditioned to doubt their own masculinity and look to women to validate them as “real men”. This keeps women in a position of power and control over men.

  4. There is a push to remove any references to masculinity in culture and language. The goal is to prevent men from adopting their own masculine identity.

  5. In the past, there were rites of passage to mark a boy’s transition into manhood. Today, we lack a way to establish when a boy becomes a man, which contributes to men remaining in a perpetual boyhood.

  6. In popular culture, masculinity is frequently portrayed as something that needs to be “fixed” by women. Women have the wisdom and intuition to solve problems that are characterized as uniquely male. But these solutions still require traditional masculine traits.

  7. Even when men refer to themselves as “men”, it is often unconsciously ridiculed by women. This is another way to keep men in a boyish role and deny them the status of manhood.

In summary, there are coordinated social and cultural forces acting to suppress conventional masculinity and keep men in a subordinate position relative to women. But masculinity itself is still required to solve the problems of men and society. This creates a contradictory situation that is difficult for most men to untangle and understand without the guidance of mentorship or “red pill” communities.

• Men have been conditioned for years by societal ridicule to not refer to themselves as “men”. Calling yourself a man is seen as arrogant and flawed. This is a result of the Feminine Imperative.

• However, embracing and self-referencing as a “Man” is passing a meta-shit test. It shows you reject the self-doubt the Feminine Imperative wants you to have about your own masculinity. It shows you “get it”.

• The Feminine Imperative sees men’s manhood as a threat. Claiming to be a Man indicates you have some awareness of your value as a Man, which is both attractive and terrorizing to women. It is seen as inherently sexist by the Feminine Imperative.

• Masculine attributes like strength, confidence, and dominance provide security to women. But men can’t be trusted to provide that, so the Feminine Imperative seeks to remove men from masculinity. They redefine masculinity and push women into traditionally male roles.

• The Feminine Imperative can never trust men with masculinity. Their solution is to only give men authority over masculinity when it suits and benefits the Feminine Imperative. Masculinity is redefined to keep men in a catch 22 - they are responsible for being masculine but also shamed for “male privilege” if they embrace traditional masculinity.

• A key part of taking the red pill is changing your self-perception as a man. Men need a rite of passage to claim their manhood in the face of a fem-centric world trying to take it away. They need to give themselves permission to be men. With this comes the responsibilities of masculinity, even if the Feminine Imperative wants to exempt men from them.

• Most men have been conditioned by feminine primacy their whole lives. Even natural Alphas can be conditioned with blue pill beliefs. Men must come to terms with this conditioning, usually through some traumatic experience where the illusion of equalism is shattered. They must learn the “second set of books” - the real truth about male-female dynamics.

That covers the key highlights and arguments around how and why societal forces and feminine primacy have sought to remove men from a sense of their own masculinity. Let me know if you would like me to clarify or expand on any part of the summary.

• Men are conditioned from an early age to believe in a set of rules that govern social interactions and relationships (the first set of books). These rules are based on ideals of chivalry, honor, and monogamy that were prevalent before the Sexual Revolution.

• After the Sexual Revolution, a second set of rules emerged that are more aligned with feminine and feminist imperatives (the second set of books). These new rules prioritize women’s sexual strategy and Hypergamy. However, men are still expected to abide by and respect the first set of rules.

• When men discover that women are actually playing by the second set of rules, they feel betrayed and disillusioned. The life they built and the efforts they made under the first set of rules feel wasted. This can lead some men to become despondent or even suicidal.

• The anger that men feel is not directed at women, but rather at themselves for being blind to the second set of rules for so long. They realize they were living under false pretenses in a system that was rigged against them.

• Men have two options when faced with this realization: rebuild themselves or self-destruct. Rebuilding themselves requires developing a new understanding of masculinity that is aware of both rule sets. This is difficult but ultimately empowering. Self-destruction through violence, drugs, or suicide is the less constructive option.

• Coming to terms with the existence of these two competing rule sets and accepting the loss of investment in the first set is necessary for men to unplug themselves and become Red Pill aware. The nihilism that some men experience in the Red Pill community is a result of not fully making this transition. But by understanding both sets of rules, men can reach a higher level of wisdom and strength.

• In summary, the “two sets of books” refers to the covert social dynamics that men must navigate in our post-Sexual Revolution society. Becoming aware of this reality is difficult and disheartening, but ultimately a necessary step in a man’s development. By accepting this truth and redefining a healthy masculinity, men can build better lives for themselves.

  • Life involves constantly rebuilding oneself and one’s life in the face of loss and adversity. As one gets older, this rebuilding can seem more difficult and the losses more grave. While we value the things we have built in our lives, their value and meaning depend on the context in which we find ourselves.

  • The values and things we thought were important from a “blue pill” mindset are often taken for granted but may lose value in a new “red pill” context. Men must determine what aspects of traditional masculinity are truly valuable to them in this new context. Though the past and present can be referenced as “the old set of books” and “the new set of books,” they represent abstract concepts describing different states of thinking.

  • Rather than pining for the past, men should accept how the blue pill conditioned them, free themselves from it, and use the “new set of books” to their advantage. They can then build a new, positive masculinity that aligns with the new context.

  • The question of whether justice, goodness, and moral virtue are worthwhile for their own sake, even if they do not lead to social or sexual rewards, is an old one that remains relevant. If the traits of good men are not valued or rewarded sexually while “bad” traits are, why should men seek to be good? This is the predicament the red pill forces us to consider regarding the beta male traits we have been conditioned to value.

  • Men desire respite from the constant effort and performance demanded of them to attract and retain women. Some turn to MGTOW or herbivore lifestyles in Japan to opt out, while beta males believe they can stop performing if they meet “the one.” However, this is a mistake and heralds the end of a man’s ambitions and vitality. A woman’s love and loyalty ultimately depend on a man’s need for them—and his performance.

  • The movie Blue Valentine shows how a man gives up his performance and ambitions in the belief he has found a soulmate with whom he can share a blue pill ideal of love. But he learns this was a mistake as his wife becomes bored, unhappy, and leaves him. Men who drop out of the sexual marketplace and performance often end up divorced or in unfulfilling relationships.

In summary, as life progresses, men must continue performing, improving, and rebuilding themselves based on changing contexts and hard truths rather than blue pill ideals. They must determine what parts of masculinity remain valuable to them and strive for a balanced red pill life.

The author argues that most men sacrifice their ambitions and passions in life for routine and mediocrity, as long as they have some semblance of love and companionship from their wives or girlfriends. They are content as long as their women are reasonably satisfied. But this false contentment is temporary and leads to their ruin.

The author observes this happen to two of his friends. He says this is common and predictable. While cultivating beta traits in men can lead to a civilized society and relationships based on reciprocated trust and goodwill, this is unrealistic given women’s opportunistic nature unleashed by the sexual revolution. Women were never worthy of that kind of trust or goodwill.

The ugly truth is that women were never worthy of men’s idealism. Women’s sexuality does not reward goodness but strength, which can be good or bad. Some in the Red Pill community argue for a “scorched earth” policy - that women only want the most selfish and psychopathic men, so men should become that. But this is unsustainable and risky.

The author argues women lack the capacity for higher ideals, justice, and goodness. They mistake appearances for reality. Accepting this is difficult but confronting women’s moral inferiority is necessary. Past generations of men realized this.

The answer is unclear. Justice seems valuable for its own sake but is hard to argue for. Some men try to address the assumption that masculinity is a mask, but masculinity and stoicism are legitimate and necessary. Men’s occasional vulnerability is only valuable because it’s rare. Women hate having to tell men how to be masculine.

The Red Pill requires balancing expectations with idealism. Men’s idealism and concept of love balances women’s pragmatism and opportunism. Red Pill awareness means understanding both male and female nature, not just giving up on idealism. Justice must be balanced with reality.

In the end, the author argues men’s idealism is necessary and shouldn’t be abandoned, even after taking the Red Pill. But it must be balanced with the realities the Red Pill reveals about women’s innate behaviors and natures.

The key ideas in the summary are:

  1. Men have an inherent idealism when it comes to love and relationships. They believe in concepts like “the right girl will come along” and “love conquers all”. This idealism makes them susceptible to manipulation by women.

  2. This idealism stems from men’s desire to avoid having to continually “fake” certain behaviors or aspects of their personality just to attract or please women. They want to believe that they can find a woman who will love them for who they truly are.

  3. However, this idealism often runs counter to the realities of intersexual dynamics and hypergamy. It leads men to believe that women will share their idealistic concept of love, rather than women’s opportunistic and pragmatic concept of love.

  4. When expressed from a position of weakness or supplication (a “Beta” mindset), men’s idealism results in a debilitating need to please the woman at the expense of his own needs and imperatives. He hopes his idealistic gestures will be reciprocated, even when they are not.

  5. When expressed from a position of strength (an “Alpha” mindset), men’s idealism can be channeled to motivate greater ambition, achievement, and purpose. The man retains his idealism but makes himself the “mental point of origin” rather than the woman.

  6. Traditionally, men’s idealistic concept of love and romance was respected and even celebrated. Now, under a feminine-primary social order, men’s idealism is exploited to serve the needs of the Feminine Imperative. Men are conditioned to believe women share their idealism, when in reality women love opportunistically.

  7. The key is for men to understand that men and women operate based on different concepts of love. Men must avoid allowing their idealism to blind them to the realities of female hypergamy and opportunism if they want to avoid exploitation. They must put themselves first rather than seeking validation through women.

That covers the essence of the summarized points about men’s idealism and the problems that arise from a naive or feminized expression of it. Let me know if you need any clarification or have additional questions!

Here’s a summary:

  • The concepts of love are often viewed through an “equalist” lens where men’s and women’s experiences are assumed to be the same. But men and women actually have very different concepts and experiences of love.

  • This creates confusion for men when they try to reconcile the traditional view of love with the modern view that is based primarily on women’s experiences. Modern love is seen more through a feminine-primary lens.

  • There are two main models for understanding gender differences:

  1. Equalism - Assumes men and women are fundamentally the same. It’s based on a “blank slate” view of human development. But science shows there are significant neurological and biological differences between men and women.

  2. Complementarity - Acknowledges the innate differences between men and women but sees these differences as complementary strengths. This view aligns more with scientific research.

  • Studies show men and women’s brains are wired differently. Women’s brains are more connected across hemispheres, better for social and intuitive thinking. Men’s brains are more connected front to back, better for perception and coordinated action.

  • These brain differences support many stereotypical views of gender strengths, e.g. women are better at multitasking and emotional intelligence, men are better at logic and navigation.

  • An egalitarian view ignores these gender differences. But a complementary view embraces them as different but equally valuable strengths. Complementarity provides a better model for understanding gender dynamics and relationships.

  • Overall, the key argument is that we should move past an equalist view of gender and adopt a complementary view that recognizes innate differences between men and women instead of assuming they are the same. A complementary model provides a better understanding of concepts like love that differ significantly between genders.

  • The study found clear neurological differences between men and women in their brain connectivity and wiring. The differences show that men and women have complementary strengths and abilities.

  • Egalitarianism insists that men and women are functionally equal, but empirical evidence shows they are not. Men and women have evolved different neurological structures and connections that suit them for different tasks.

  • Complementarity between the sexes - where the strengths of one sex compensate for the weaknesses of the other - has been the norm for human history and evolution. Conventional gender roles reflected this complementarity.

  • Modern society has rejected complementarity in favor of an egalitarian model that sees men and women as independent and self-sustaining. This rejects millennia of evolution and intersexual dynamics.

  • Egalitarianism says any perceived differences in ability between the sexes are due to culture and environment, not biology. But evolutionary biology and psychology show clear differences in men’s and women’s proclivities, priorities, and abilities that are biologically rooted.

  • Egalitarianism allows the Feminine Imperative to redefine whatever benefits women in the moment as “equal” while dismissing anything that advantages men as “sexist.” It uses the idea of equality to create female dominance and superiority.

  • Egalitarianism is appealing because it suggests men can escape the burden of performance - they don’t need to achieve, succeed, or meet any standards to be seen as attractive mates. But abandoning complementarity erodes the foundations of intersexual dynamics.

  • The Red Pill recognizes the realities of intersexual dynamics, complementarity between the sexes, and the innate differences in male and female wiring. By seeing the influence of these factors, the Red Pill lens can identify how the Feminine Imperative warps society and intersexual relations.

  • In conclusion, egalitarianism is a fanciful ideal that denies hard biological and evolutionary realities. Complementarity and interdependence between the sexes has been the norm. The sexes have never been truly equal - but together, their strengths have made humanity strong.

  • The author has become highly sensitive to how much society promotes narratives and ideologies that favor women and feminism. He compares this sensitivity to having special glasses that allow you to see hidden propagandas, like in the movie They Live. This sensitivity becomes more pronounced during the holidays when connecting with friends and family who are immersed in these narratives.

  • He was surprised to find the movie It’s a Wonderful Life to be quite “Red Pill” in its depictions of gender dynamics. It shows what society was like before the sexual revolution and rise of feminism. Some examples:

  1. Men openly and unapologetically checking out an attractive woman in public. This would be considered harassment today but was normal and enjoyed by the woman in the movie.

  2. Traditional gender roles in the family, where the father is the head of the household and the sons show him deference. The mother is also shown deference.

  3. An example of “old-school” Game where George Bailey confidently and playfully flirts with Mary. There is no confusion of signals and she responds positively. This type of interaction seems unrealistic today.

  • The author argues that while “Alpha males” are often caricatured as cads and bad boys, it is possible for an Alpha to also be a good provider. The character of George Bailey is an example of this. However, such a character seems unrealistic in today’s world where women do not expect to find both traits in the same man.

  • The author asks readers what red pill observations they have made in society and if they point them out to others. He also asks if people notice examples of the “old order” in media and culture, even after becoming red pill aware. He questions whether the ideal of an Alpha provider is realistic or do men’s romantic natures set up unrealistic expectations.

The key ideas are: 1) Society has become highly feminized, perpetuating narratives and values that favor women, 2) Gender dynamics were very different in the past, as illustrated in the movie It’s a Wonderful Life, 3) The idea of an Alpha male who is also a good provider seems unrealistic today, though possible, and 4) Examples of the old, pre-feminist order can still be found in some media and culture.

• Hypergamy is a complex dynamic that is difficult to summarize in a simplistic manner. Many men seek “easy” answers to solve their dating problems but Hypergamy does not lend itself to quick fixes.

• Hypergamy influences individual women’s choices as well as society and gender relations. Many frustrations that men experience with women, dating, and gender dynamics stem from Hypergamy.

• Looks and arousal are very important to women’s Hypergamous evaluations of men. While women say they value character and personality, looks and physical arousal tend to dominate their short-term mating choices. Long-term considerations like provisioning and parental investment become more important for long-term relationships. But physical arousal is still crucial.

• Women’s stated preferences for what they find “attractive” in men often have little bearing on who they actually pursue for sex and relationships. The characteristics that women claim to be attracted to - like confidence, humor, intelligence, etc. - are meant to make them appear wholesome and like they value character. But they have little to do with actual physical arousal.

• Sex and relationships were much easier for younger men and women. There were fewer pretences about attraction and checklists of acceptable traits. Short-term mating and physicality dominated. Women did not consider long-term attraction prerequisites like they do today after their sexual market value and options decline.

• Women go through an “epiphany phase” around age 30 when their SMV starts to decrease. Only then do they start to seriously consider the Beta Bucks - i.e. long-term attractiveness - side of Hypergamy. But this consideration is not as sincere or idealistic as women claim. They are just adapting to their declining ability to pursue short-term relationships.

That covers the key highlights from the essay on Hypergamy, looks vs. character, arousal vs. attraction, and dating then vs. now. Let me know if you would like me to clarify or expand on any part of this summary.

To summarize:

  1. Women’s ideal is to secure both Alpha (arousing, dominant, sexy) and Beta (supportive, nurturing, stable) qualities in the same man. This aligns with their dualistic mating strategy to secure both the best genes and the best provisioning for their offspring.

  2. However, Alpha and Beta traits are rarely found in the same man, and at the same time in a man’s life. As a woman progresses through her peak SMV years, she primarily seeks Alpha traits. As she ages and approaches the Wall, she shifts to preferring Beta traits for long-term security.

  3. The fantasy is to tame an Alpha by instilling Beta traits to create an idealized mate. But this is challenging to execute in reality. Attempting to ‘fix’ a ‘Bad Boy’ Alpha rarely works out.

  4. As women age and their SMV decreases, their hypergamy becomes more balanced between arousal and attraction. They can’t command Alphas as easily, so they shift to Beta providership while still being attracted to Alphas (especially at peak fertility points in their cycle).

  5. The ultimate fantasy is that a Beta partner will “Man Up” and develop more Alpha traits to become the idealized mate who embodies the perfect mix of arousal and attraction. But this is unrealistic - Alpha and Beta are rooted traits that cannot be learned easily.

In summary, the notion of the ‘Good Guy’ - the ideal balance of Alpha and Beta - is an unsustainable myth. Alpha and Beta are divergent mating strategies, and although heterosexual women tend to be attracted to both, they are rarely optimized in the same male partner, especially over the course of a long-term relationship. The fantasy is idealistic but the reality is that it is challenging to execute.

  • Women believe the “perfect” man is one who exhibits both alpha and beta traits, a “greater beta with a side of alpha.” In reality, this is unrealistic and contradictory. A man’s traits are either predominantly alpha (dominant) or beta (submissive).

  • Beta traits make more practical sense for long-term relationships, but alpha traits are more sexually arousing to women. This contradiction causes confusion for both men and women in relationships.

  • The concept of balancing alpha and beta is rooted in the feminine notion of “equalism” between the sexes. But in relationships, one partner is always more dominant. Women want control and security from beta traits, but also arousal from alpha traits, which threatens their control. They want the benefits of both without the consequences.

  • For men, it is easier to cultivate an alpha mindset and make periodic beta concessions, rather than the reverse. Betas have more difficulty becoming truly “alpha” in a believable way. Changing from beta to alpha requires a radical “unplugging” from the feminine point of view.

  • Women’s attraction cues (what they say they want in a man) are not the same as what arouses them sexually (alpha traits). Their stated preferences reflect a desire for security and provision (beta), but their behaviors and arousal reveal a visceral attraction to dominance and masculinity (alpha). They believe they “should” want the former, even as they pursue the latter.

  • The ideal of balancing alpha and beta is an unrealistic “fool’s errand.” Men should focus on cultivating an alpha mindset, while making beta concessions only periodically and strategically. For relationships, pair an alpha dominant personality with a beta “loving” aspect, rather than the reverse.

In summary, the notion of balancing alpha and beta traits tries in vain to reconcile the irreconcilable masculine-feminine polarity. Alpha and beta are opposing ends of the spectrum, so a balance is unrealistic. But cultivating a primarily alpha mindset, with occasional expressions of beta sensitivity, is the most coherent and effective sexual/relational strategy for men.

  • The majority of men today exhibit beta male traits due to social conditioning that told them these traits were attractive to women. In reality, beta traits are not sexually arousing to women.

  • Women find alpha male traits arousing but also want beta traits for long-term provisioning. This creates a conflict in women between attraction and arousal.

  • More beta traits do not equal more sexual success with women. Beta men struggle sexually and relationally. Simply put, beta is not a good sexual strategy for men.

  • Women may stay with beta males for practical reasons (finances, children, familiarity) but are not sexually aroused by them. Women would rather share an alpha male than settle for a faithful beta.

  • Attractive and wealthy men can also be very beta. Looks and money do not prevent internalizing a beta mindset. These men struggle despite their outward advantages.

  • The concept of a “perfect” man is unrealistic. Women acknowledge no man is perfect and a good partner will only meet some of a woman’s needs. Striving to be a ” Mr. Perfect” is futile and unattractive.

  • In summary, beta males lack the alpha traits that sexually arouse women. For both sexes to be satisfied, a balance of alpha and beta is needed - but more beta is not the key to success with women.

• Perfect is boring. Men who try to be perfect or meet all expectations of a woman are boring to her. A man who ignores expectations and is confident in himself is more attractive.

• Androgyny is unattractive. The differences between genders are what create attraction. As men and women become more alike, attraction fades.

• Alpha and beta traits are not masculine or feminine. Alpha and beta refer to behaviors and mindsets, not gender traits. A man can have alpha behaviors and also express feminine traits. Similarly, a beta man is not inherently feminine.

• Women are attracted to alpha traits, not a perfect balance of alpha and beta. The idea that an equal mix of alpha and beta is most attractive is a myth. Women are primarily attracted to alpha behaviors and mindsets in men.

• You can’t identify an alpha male just by his social status or dominance. How a man interacts with and responds to women is a better indicator of his alpha traits. High status is correlated with but not equivalent to being alpha.

• Women’s behavior reveals their view of a man’s alpha or beta traits. How women act around a man is a better indicator of how alpha or beta he is rather than what he or others claim about his traits. Women instinctively respond to alpha men differently than beta men.

• The debate around alpha and beta comes from men’s interpretations, not women’s instincts. Men endlessly debate and redefine alpha and beta to suit themselves. But women’s behaviors around high-value men reveal their true instincts about alpha traits.

That’s a high-level summary and analysis of the key points around why “Perfect is Boring” and the common misconceptions about alpha male traits. Let me know if you would like me to clarify or expand on any of the summaries.

  • Women’s sexual selection and arousal are instinctual and based on a man’s perceived alpha qualities. Their behavior and cues around alpha men reveal this, even if they claim that their selection is based on other traits.

  • There are certain behaviors and tells that indicate a woman sees a man as alpha. These include:

  • Deference and submission to the man

  • Efforts to gain his approval and please him

  • Initiating sex and physical affection

  • Strong arousal and passion during sex

  • Changes in behavior/ increased affection during fertile periods of her cycle

  • Lack of these behaviors can indicate a woman sees a man as more beta. This includes things like:

  • Lack of initiation or enthusiasm during sex

  • Lack of change in behavior/arousal during fertile periods

  • Making the man qualify for her affection or approval

  • Resistance to his displays of confidence or flirtation

  • The medium is the message - the way a woman behaves towards a man reveals a lot about how she perceives him, even if her words indicate otherwise. Men should pay attention to these cues rather than rationalizing or making excuses for them.

  • Maintaining an alpha frame and not investing in women who don’t clearly show interest and deference is key. Compromising or making concessions to “win” a woman’s affection/commitment when she isn’t demonstrating real desire or arousal is a sign of a beta mindset.

  • Knowing a woman’s cycle and observing changes in her behavior during fertile periods can provide information on whether she perceives a man as her ‘alpha fucks’. Clear increases in affection, initiation, passion during these times is a good sign, while lack of change may indicate she views him as more of a ‘beta bucks’ option.

That covers the key points around the alpha-beta tells in women’s behavior and how men can interpret them to determine a woman’s level of real arousal or interest in them. Let me know if you would like me to clarify or expand on any part of the summary.

The key points in the passages are:

  1. Without the formal study of psychology and behavior, men still understood the concept of Hypergamy and how to recognize and control for its effects. Men knew how Hypergamy worked and how to capitalize on it based on observations, intuition and education from other males.

  2. Hypergamy refers to a woman’s tendency to seek out a mate of higher status and provisioning capability. Women have an innate drive to secure resources and protection through their mates. They practiced Hypergamy openly until recent decades.

  3. There are behaviors or “tells” that indicate if a woman sees a man as Alpha (high status) or Beta (provisioning). Women show more affection, respect and deference to Alphas. With Betas, women are more indifferent or even repulsed. They may insist on girl’s nights out, prioritize other men as “orbiters,” or be less sexual.

  4. Beta behaviors in men stem from a lack of confidence and an overinvestment in a woman’s perception. Betas are eager to please and concede authority in a relationship. They rationalize poor treatment by their partner and willingly provide without reciprocation.

  5. Women experience phases, like the “Epiphany Phase,” where they become strongly attuned to Beta traits in a mate. During these periods, women convince themselves Beta partners are acceptable - even desirable. But as they achieve the goal that drove them to seek a Beta, like long-term security, their attraction fades.

  6. Men who mate guard are inherently Beta. Alphas have an abundance mentality and know they have other mating options. Betas mate guard due to scarcity and a need to control a woman, since they have limited options. Most Beta behaviors stem from a root insecurity and necessity to lock down whatever partner they have managed to secure.

In summary, the passages show that men have long been aware of the concept of Hypergamy and how it influences women’s mate choice. There are distinct behaviors in both men and women that demonstrate an Alpha-Beta dynamic in relationships and courting. Beta traits, especially mate guarding, are linked to insecurity and a perceived lack of choice. But by being aware of these dynamics, men can make better choices in how they respond to them.

This sounds like a common story for married men seeking to improve their relationships and sex lives through Red Pill awareness and a self-improvement directive. The husband does everything right, fixes himself, changes his outlook and becomes Game savvy, he improves his confidence, his status, he’s in the best shape of his life and in theory this should lead to his wife becoming far more interested in him sexually, right?

Well, as our author finds here, this isn’t always the case. Why is this?

For both men and women sexual arousal and genuine interest requires an organic element. It requires genuine passion and desire, not obligation or duty. This obligation-to-bang is a primary reason desire dies in marriage – women’s Hypergamy is aware that she has already secured the provisioning and parental investment the man is obligated to, so the sexual arousal cues adapt to that new normal. Men, especially Blue Pill men, believe that performance, duty and obligation equeal a woman’s interest level; and nothing kills a boner faster than a woman who’s fucking a guy out of obligation.

In the case here, the guy’s done everything expected of a modern Red Pill married man, but his wife’s sexual interest level is still not there. This is very common, but as per his initial story, he remained Blue Pill in thinking he could statistically satisfy her conditions for sex. The root of this is following her Frame and believing that his performance would prompt genuine desire. Performance, doing everything right, is not arousal for women. With a long history of this performance expectation and her settling for less-than-optimal sex with him the inertia is very difficult to overcome.

There’s a lot happening in our author’s long prologue, but fundamentally his ship has sailed. He has no ‘fucks left to give’. Only a man with no interest left in salvaging his relationship would report being ambivalent about the prospect of breaking up his family. While dread Dread Game works for women still susceptible to a sexually viable man’s Frame, once you get to the point where you have to ‘go nuclear’ the relationship is almost always unrecoverable. The takeaway here is that following the Red Pill self-improvement plan can work magic for a man as an individual, but revamping a Beta relationship with those Red Pill changes requires a broad landscape revamp.

Doing everything right only works if you hold the Frame from which you started, not if you’re trying to regain a Frame already lost.

That said, our author has a rather unique situation here in that his children are involved and he’s ‘punting’ on the final irrecoverable outcome of divorce. There may still be hope left if he can Steel himself, stick with his decision to move out and pursue an open, ‘non-exclusive’ relationship with his wife. Rather than betabucks negotiating for her sexual interests, make her come to him on his terms by killing his availability. His kids may be his top priority, so avoiding divorce may still be possible for the time being, but redefining a sustainable relationship with his wife from a new Red Pill aware Frame may be his best option if she’s still open to it.

The risk here is that he’s not entirely out of her Frame, but he must be willing to risk her wanting the comfort of herFrame in order to come into a sexual relationship in his. The other risk is that she’s already done with the relationship and any dreams he has to salvage it will be dead on arrival.

Every man’s situation is different so a tailored approach is important, but betting on her desire by redefining himself sexually – rather than appealing to performance or stoking obligation – is the best hope he has to turn this ship around.

Here’s a summary:

• The man made major improvements in his life over the last 2 years. He got in shape, grew his business, improved his style and became more attractive and confident.

• Despite the improvements, his wife still frequently rejects his sexual advances and the quality of their sex life has deteriorated. He’s grown distant from her and prefers living alone now.

• He decided to test his attractiveness on dating apps using a location spoofer. He was inundated with interest from many attractive women. He had countless hookup offers and could likely find a new relationship quickly if he pursued it.

• This experience killed any remaining oneitis he had for his wife. He now realizes he has options and no longer cares if his wife comes around or not. He’s built himself into a man that will have success with women either way.

• His story is a common one in the Red Pill community. Many men do everything right to improve their lives and attractiveness but their wives don’t follow suit. The Red Pill teaches men to focus on self-improvement but that’s not always enough to fix a broken relationship or arouse a now uninterested spouse.

• Some men become angry at the Red Pill community once they realize their wife may never come around. But the Red Pill simply opens men’s eyes to the truth. It gives men the awareness and tools to improve their lives, regardless of whether their marriage can be saved or not.

• Like many men of his generation, the man was conditioned to believe that self-improvement and “doing everything right” would make him attractive and arousing to his wife. But Hypergamy cannot be negotiated and a woman’s attraction is outside of a man’s control. His wife may or may not come around, and that’s something he has to accept. The only thing in his control is making himself the most attractive man he can be.

That’s the summary and main takeaways from the man’s story and the article. Let me know if you would like me to clarify or expand on any part of the summary.

  • Men are taught that if they fulfill certain responsibilities and accomplish certain things that should be appealing to women, their wives/girlfriends will find them sexy and desirable. This is known as “relational equity” - the idea that you can build up attraction and desire through doing the right things in a relationship and meeting your partner’s needs.

  • However, this idea is false according to the “red pill” philosophy. Genuine sexual desire and attraction cannot be negotiated - it arises naturally based on immutable traits like masculinity, confidence, physical attractiveness, etc. No amount of “doing the right thing” in a relationship will make a woman find a man sexy if she does not have that genuine attraction for other reasons.

  • For men who become aware of this “red pill” philosophy later in life or while already in a long-term relationship or marriage, this presents a dilemma. Their wives or girlfriends likely still see them as the predictable, equitable “beta” male they have always been, and have formed that impression of them over many years together. Changing that impression is very difficult.

  • Many men in this situation hope that by becoming red-pill aware and adjusting their behavior, their wives will rediscover a lost spark of attraction and desire for them. But often, a woman’s view of a man is “anchored” to that original beta impression, and the changes a man makes come too little, too late. The man is then left with difficult choices regarding the viability of the relationship.

  • The idea that attraction and arousal can be deliberately changed by society or influenced by equity and fairness is an incorrect assumption that stems from feminine primacy (the primacy of women’s interests and imperatives in society). While expectations around relationship equity have certainly changed, human arousal cues have not, and attraction is an innate and evolutionary mechanism. So attempts to promote the “sexy” as whatever women say they want are futile, as genuine desire arises from innate cues, not from social construction or relational equity.

The summary here is that becoming red-pill aware often places already-committed men in a difficult spot, as their wives have formed deep-seated impressions of them as predictable and equitable beta males over the years. Changing those impressions and generating real attraction is very difficult, as attraction arises from innate cues, not from being “socially constructed” to find whatever traits women say they want sexy. So many men are left with hard choices around whether to remain in a relationship where dead desire and attraction seems unlikely to be rekindled.

• Married men who become “awakened while married” face greater challenges in accepting Red Pill truths. They have invested years in their marriage and bought into the Blue Pill fantasy of achieving an ideal relationship. They cling to the hope that they can make their marriage work by using Red Pill knowledge to persuade their wife to change.

• These men had a strong Blue Pill conditioning that led them to believe being a good provider and “doing everything right” would lead to a successful marriage and appreciation from their wife. But their wife likely never truly wanted them that way. Their new Alpha behaviors may improve things superficially but the underlying dynamics remain unchanged.

• Some men were Alpha before their marriage but lost it over the years. The marriage was born from the wife’s desire to tame the Alpha. These men have an easier time reclaiming an Alpha frame, but their wife remains possessive, controlling, and minimizes his transformation to sustain the status quo.

• Accepting the darker truths about female nature - hypergamy, solipsism, etc. - is difficult for married men because it reflects the unflattering reality of their own wife’s behavior and mindset. Their significant time and emotional investment in the marriage makes the truth a bitter pill to swallow.

• Married men face more constraints in expressing their new dominant frame and Alpha behaviors. Their wife will limit them to avoid feeling threatened and losing control in the relationship. This prevents real change and often disqualifies the legitimacy of the man’s new persona.

• For married men, walking away from a marriage is far more difficult than dating women walking away from a casual relationship. Scarcity mentality and fear of the unknown keeps men trapped, even with the knowledge of Red Pill truths. They cling to the hope of obtaining their Blue Pill ideal or satisfying sex and intimacy with their wife.

• Overall, for married men it is a difficult road to achieving an ideal Red Pill relationship. Most marriages were not born from the proper dynamics to ever become one. Men must face hard truths, difficult choices, and wife’s resistance to change. Some marriages can be saved but require overcoming huge obstacles.

  • Men in marriages or long-term relationships often come to realize their low status and subservient role relative to their partner and the female sexual strategy. This is often due to discovering Red Pill ideas or due to a mid-life crisis epiphany.

  • The act of committing to a woman in marriage necessarily implies a predominantly Beta perception and Blue Pill conditioning for most men. The only way to truly change this is to break that commitment - either mentally or physically.

  • Any change a man seeks to make must be for himself and his own benefit, not for his wife or to save the relationship. He must establish his own mental point of origin and not act to please his wife or appease her interests. His reconstruction requires pursuing Red Pill truths for his own sake.

  • The hardest part of this for most men is that there is no guarantee his wife will accept his new persona or find him more attractive. He cannot base his transformation on a hope that she will change her perception of him. He must do it for himself alone.

  • It is better for a man reconstructing himself to approach it as if he is breaking up with his wife. Looking at the relationship from a Red Pill aware perspective, would he even want to be with her now, given what he knows about the female sexual strategy and experience with her? If not, then his reconstruction should proceed as if separation or divorce is imminent.

  • The change he seeks to make must be radical, at the root level. Half-measures will not do. He must replace Blue Pill ideals completely with a new Red Pill aware mindset, regardless of the state of his relationship. His transformation is for himself, not his marriage or wife.

  • Internalizing this new Red Pill self-work is intrinsically rewarding. A man must become Red Pill aware for the knowledge it provides him, not because it might improve his marriage. The marriage may or may not survive his transformation, but either way he will have gained a valuable understanding of male-female dynamics.

  • It is important for a man to make himself his “mental point of origin” in a relationship. This means adopting an independent frame of mind where you put your needs and desires first.

  • When reconstructing a relationship, a man should begin with the assumption that he will be breaking up with his partner. This helps reframe the relationship and adopts an independent mindset. Even if a breakup does not actually happen, this mentality shift is important.

  • You can never escape the history of past relationship issues. Any future relationship will be colored by those past experiences. Healthy relationships are based on mutual desire, not obligation or “negotiated terms.” Doubts will always remain.

  • It is better to invest in new prospective partners than try to reconstruct a failed relationship. Once a man becomes “Red Pill aware,” there is no going back to the previous state of ignorance. The relationship needs to be reassessed from this new perspective.

  • To reclaim power in the relationship, adopt the mindset that you are breaking up. This demonstrates higher value and helps reframe the relationship. Be prepared for negative reactions, but stay focused on your new self-respect. Going “half-way” will not work and the same issues will arise again. Stick to meaningful changes.

  • Some men are able to fully transform themselves and their marriages through this process. Others find that the existing impression of them as “beta” is too deep, and the relationship cannot be salvaged. But the self-improvement is worthwhile regardless of the outcome.

  • The “opposite of love is indifference,” not hate. The “three strikes” rule protects men from over-investing in a relationship with little return by setting a limit. It is not meant as punishment, just pragmatic self-protection. Lack of intimacy by the third date usually indicates low interest, so it’s best for both parties to move on.

  • Urgency and anxiety fuel sexual desire; familiarity and comfort do not. Sex that is delayed or comes out of obligation is never worth waiting for. It becomes mundane and passionless.

  • The power of “NEXT” is the ability to confidently move on when a relationship is not meeting your needs. It is one of the most difficult Game principles to internalize but also one of the most important.

• Men tend to take a deductive and pragmatic approach to solving problems by eliminating the source of the problem. However, simply telling a man to move on from the only woman currently in his life is not useful without understanding his mental schema and personal situation.

• Having multiple romantic options, or “spinning plates,” makes it easier for a man to shift his attention away from any one woman. However, many men develop “oneitis,” or an unhealthy obsession with one woman, especially if they lack other options or are prone to believing in a “soul mate.”

• Learning indifference and the willingness to “next” a woman is key to overcoming oneitis and maintaining an abundance mentality. Dumping or rejecting a woman demonstrates high value and shakes up her routine, often causing her to desperately seek to regain a man’s attention and affection. However, nexting a woman should be done tactically and not out of punishment or spite.

• In some cases, completely removing a toxic woman from one’s life through “going dark” and cutting off all contact is necessary for self-preservation. Although difficult, cultivating indifference is important for successfully nexting a woman in this permanent way. The intent should be preserving one’s own well-being rather than teaching the woman a lesson.

• The tendency toward monogamy and the belief in “the one” is a deep-seated reproductive strategy for both sexes. For women, it is rooted in hypergamy, or seeking optimal mating opportunities, and for men, it is rooted in ensuring paternity. The fulfillment of our sexuality is deeply linked with reproduction. For the religious, this is attributed to fate and faith, and for the secular, it is attributed to the concept of a “soul mate.”

• “Oneitis” refers to an unhealthy obsession and over-attachment to one romantic or sexual partner. It is rooted in the belief that there is one perfect mate for everyone. Oneitis makes a man blind to a woman’s faults and gives her control over him. The cure for oneitis is developing an abundance mentality by gaining more life and romantic experiences.

The summary covers the key highlights around oneitis, indifference, nexting women, abundance mentality, and reproductive instincts. Let me know if you would like me to clarify or expand on any part of the summary.

  • The notion of monogamy as natural for humans is a popular belief that is not supported by evidence. Monogamy likely arose as a social adaptation to curb consequences of people’s natural predisposition towards polyamory and polygamy.

  • There is a conflict between women’s innate Hypergamy, their desire for the best mate possible, and the necessity of long-term monogamy for security. They must resolve this by finding a man who is alpha enough but will commit to monogamy.

  • Women are invested in the idea of natural monogamy since they face more reproductive costs. Even the suggestion that men desire multiple partners elicits indignation, despite women’s acceptance of openly hypergamous strategies.

  • There are efforts to make women seem like victims and blameless, absolving them of consequences of hypergamy. Yet they are also portrayed as independent and empowered. This conflict requires rationalization.

  • Humans are predisposed to pair bonding as it has benefits, but the feminine imperative for open hypergamy conflicts with pair bonding. The compromise usually requires men to abase their sexual strategies.

  • The meaning of commitment has changed. It used to satisfy sexual and economic needs, giving men incentive. Now sex is more freely available, and women’s roles have changed. The main reason for men to commit is love, while for women it remains security/resources.

  • The “hopping” from one woman to another that some men do is not necessarily objectifying. Men seek good communication, shared values, good chemistry. Only a minority of men have enough SMV to actually “hop”.

  • The old order has shifted to accommodate feminine-primary open hypergamy. This is evident in changes in marriage, paternity/commitment, high rates of male compromise. The new order is based around female primacy, equalism, individualism.

The summary explains how views on monogamy and commitment have evolved to reflect the feminine imperative, how this conflicts with human’s predispositions, the rationalizations required to resolve this, and how the notion of commitment has changed to benefit female sexual strategies but requires male compromise.

• There are prerequisites for women’s intimacy that were not adequately addressed in Warren Farrell’s writings in the 1980s. He failed to grasp the dual nature of women’s sexual strategy and how it drives their behaviors over time. His presumption of equalism led him to believe men and women share the same concept of love and end goals.

• In the decades since, the legal and social mandates that ensure men comply with the sexual strategy compromise have become normalized or even converted into supposed sources of female strength. This has removed potential downsides and stigmas for women in their hypergamous decision making.

• Responses to this like MGTOW, PUA, and TRP challenge the presumption that men must compromise their own sexual strategy. However, some form of monogamy or pair bonding is still needed for healthy child rearing. Complete independence and hypergamy defeat this.

• True equality between the sexes is a myth. The sexes have evolved differently and have complementary strengths and weaknesses. One sex is not absolutely superior, but may be better suited for certain challenges. Presuming complete self-sufficiency and homogeneity is false.

• SMV and attachment dynamics show how individuals’ sexual market value rises and falls over their lifetimes. Women’s SMV peaks earlier, so they establish social conventions to secure male commitment before their own SMV declines. Men’s SMV starts lower but lasts longer.

• “Ennobled Betas” believe that repressing their masculinity and accepting prescribed egalitarian roles will make their partner happy and keep the relationship equitable. However, their partner may lose attraction and interest in them as a result. The belief in absolute gender neutrality leads to a dead end. Sexual dimorphism will always reassert itself.

• My friend’s wife lost interest in initiating sex because his beta behaviors and belief in true equality made him unattractive to her. His investment in “equality” did not translate into her reciprocal sexual interest. He wrongly expected equity to generate her desire.

That covers the main points around intimacy, sexual strategies, SMV, attachment styles, and the issues with egalitarianism between the sexes. Let me know if you would like me to clarify or expand on any part of this summary.

  • A 1:1 SMV ratio between partners is an unrealistic ideal. There are too many variables that influence each person’s SMV for it to stay perfectly balanced.

  • A stable and successful relationship is more likely to have a 2:1 SMV ratio, where the man has a higher SMV. This provides a good balance of a dominant male and an adoring female partner. Betas can also achieve this ratio, even if they don’t recognize the SMV imbalance.

  • A 3:1 SMV ratio is possible but tends to be unhealthy or short-lived. The man has a vastly higher SMV, leaving the woman anxious about losing the relationship. The pairing often only lasts as long as it takes the man to find a better partner or the woman’s SMV drops significantly.

  • A 4:1 SMV ratio or higher is very unlikely to be sustainable or healthy. These extreme pairings usually only occur due to extreme circumstances and don’t last long.

  • In general, the greater the SMV imbalance in a relationship, the more likely it is to be impermanent or unhealthy. But a moderate SMV difference, around 2:1 with a higher male SMV, provides the most stable and successful relationship dynamic.

The key insight is that SMV imbalances are inevitable in relationships, but the degree of the imbalance determines the health and longevity of the relationship. An SMV ratio that provides the man with dominance but still gives the woman value and security is the most tenable situation. Extreme imbalances usually only occur temporarily or in unhealthy relationships. Overall, SMV ratios are always fluid, but awareness of this dynamics allows people to find the “sweet spot” for the best relationship.

  • Many bloggers argue that it is increasingly common for women to have access to many more dating and sexual options than most men. This abundance of choice allows them to be very selective.

  • Women who have many more options than most men are often the most reliant on social conventions that restrict men’s ability to select partners based on their preferences. For example, the fat acceptance movement and the shaming of men who prefer certain body types are meant to prevent men from acting on their true preferences.

  • It is very difficult for most women to maintain a sustainable imbalance where they have many more options than their partner. Only the most manipulative women can pull this off for long.

  • Understanding intersexual dynamics often requires accepting amoral or “immoral” motivations and behaviors. This can be difficult for those with a strong sense of ethics or morality to accept. However, recognizing these motivations does not require endorsing them. They are simply facts of human behavioral psychology.

  • A humanistic perspective tends to view human progress and achievement in an idealistic way, as humans overcoming their primitive nature through reason and moral enlightenment. A behaviorist perspective recognizes that all human achievement and motivation arises from more basic evolutionary drives and needs, even if it is expressed in complex cultural forms. Both perspectives offer insight.

  • It is tempting to make moral judgments about complex behaviors and social dynamics. However, this often obscures a real understanding of the underlying motivations and reasons why people act as they do. The manosphere should aim to understand intersexual and social dynamics from an amoral, pragmatic perspective, even if it remains tempting to moralize.

  • In short, the key point is that recognizing the evolutionary and behavioral motivations behind human actions and achievements does not require endorsing them morally. But moralizing about these complex topics tends to obscure the real issues rather than clarify them. An pragmatic, amoral analysis is most useful for gaining insight.

To summarize:

The author proposes analytical perspectives without considering morality or ethics. This can offend some readers and be interpreted as cynical or nihilistic. However, the intent is not to offend but to examine the underlying dynamics of situations.

For example, when examining women’s ability to move on from relationships more easily than men, the author focused on the reasons why this happens from a pragmatic perspective rather than a moral one. The dynamics themselves are not morally right or wrong, they just are.

The author acknowledges that his proposals can be raw and offend ego-investments in certain beliefs. However, he argues it is healthier to accept our innate natures and carnal drives rather than get caught up in notions of what “should” be. There is a balance between repression and indulgence.

For a long time, the author did not have a concrete plan to achieve his goals and just went along with what society and social conditioning dictated. However, he came to realize the importance of forming one’s own plan to avoid being subject to the plans and agendas of others. Failing to plan is essentially planning to fail and be subject to the influence of other forces.

The key to developing confidence is having options and knowing you can repeat past successes. Confidence does not come from some nebulous, internal quality but from concrete experiences of competence and mastery. With more options and successes, confidence is a natural byproduct.

In summary, the key points in this piece are:

  1. Consider underlying dynamics rather than moral interpretations

  2. Accept innate drives and find balance rather repression or indulgence

  3. Develop your own concrete plans to avoid being subject to the plans of others

  4. Confidence comes from having options and past successes, not some abstract quality.

  • The author argues that male confidence and indifference that attracts women also threatens the feminine imperative, which is why it is seen as “conceit.” The feminine imperative is the unconscious female strategy of optimizing hypergamy.

  • Having an abundance mindset and “not giving a fuck” attitude makes it easier to have confidence with women. By dating multiple women, a man can filter for those with genuine desire and interest in him. This contrasts with the feminine imperative.

  • Confidence itself is not what attracts women. Rather, it is a man’s plan and direction in life that builds confidence and attracts women. Confidence comes from success and predictability. Alphas plan and act with purpose. A man’s vision and direction should supersede his desire for sex, though sex can also be used to achieve his aims.

  • The biggest test of a man is replacing the feminine imperative’s plan with his own. This is why “frame” is the first Iron Rule of Tomassi. The woman enters the man’s reality, not the reverse.

  • The author predicted that the meaning of “the Red Pill” would be bastardized over time by commercial and ideological interests. People are appropriating the term to sell products or promote ideologies that align with parts of the feminine imperative. They dismiss the parts of the praxeology that would make women accountable or challenge blue pill ideals. This is a “purple pill.”

  • The author will continue to use “the Red Pill” to refer to the praxeology of understanding intersexual dynamics. But he realizes the term has taken on other meanings as various groups have appropriated it for their own agendas.

The key arguments are that a man should have his own vision and direction in life that supersedes women’s interests or the feminine imperative. Confidence stems from this purpose and vision, not the interest of women themselves. By having an abundance mindset and filtering women for those with genuine desire, a man can avoid being trapped by the feminine imperative. However, the meaning of terms like “the Red Pill” have been diluted and appropriated over time. The author aims to clarify them and warn against “purple pill” obfuscation of intersexual dynamics.

The Red Pill refers to the unpleasant but necessary realization that societal conventions are false and that sexual strategies have been hidden from men. The Red Pill is the theory, and Game is the practice - both inform each other. The core insights of The Red Pill include:

• Honest and unfiltered assessments of male-female sexual dynamics, which often contradict mainstream beliefs. These insights can be upsetting, but are appealing due to their truth.

• There is no going back to “blue pill” idealism after understanding these realities. However, some men want to achieve blue pill goals using red pill knowledge. This is unrealistic.

• The mainstream wants an enemy to hate, so it misconstrues the red pill as misogyny or other ideologies. The red pill is apolitical and areligious, focusing on natural realities. Associating it with ideologies undermines its validity.

• Profiteers may appropriate the red pill label to gain celebrity and money. But the red pill aims to provide practical knowledge to help men live better lives, not sell ideologies. Men should be wary of those distorting red pill ideas.

• The red pill can be hard to accept, but is life-changing. This book aims to give men tools and knowledge to build better lives, though accepting hard truths.

The summaries point to several resources for learning about the red pill and related topics:

• The Rational Male blog, which aims for objective discourse and open debate. It covers red pill topics like hypergamy, social conventions, game, and positive masculinity.

• The Family Alpha blog, which focuses on red pill marriage and fatherhood. It encourages men to accept the burden of performance in relationships and family.

• Chateau Heartiste, one of the earliest red pill/game blogs, which established many original theories and concepts.

• The Red Pill subreddit, a large forum for discussing red pill concepts, game, self-improvement, culture, and gender dynamics.

• Dalrock blog, which analyzes red pill topics from a Christian perspective. It aims to reconcile red pill realities with religious faith.

So in summary, the red pill refers to the hard truths about society and gender dynamics. Though the knowledge can be hard to accept, it provides life-changing insight. However, the concepts are often distorted or misapplied for profiteering or ideology. Men should focus on using the red pill for self-improvement through practical knowledge and actionable advice.

  • The Married Red Pill subreddit is a forum for married men who subscribe to Red Pill philosophy.
  • It focuses on helping men become stronger leaders in their marriages and relationships.
  • The SoSuave forum was an early incubator of Red Pill ideas. The author participated there and developed many of his early Red Pill concepts through discussions on the forum.
  • The author thanks several other bloggers and writers in the “manosphere” and Red Pill community who have influenced and promoted his work.
  • He thanks his readers for contributing to the greater understanding of intersexual dynamics and says they can use this knowledge to improve their lives.
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About Matheus Puppe