Wise as Fu_k - Gary John Bishop

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Here is a summary of the key points from the dedication and introduction:

• The book is dedicated to anyone seeking more from life. It aims to provide wisdom and clarity to navigate life’s challenges.

• Life’s storms can leave people feeling ill-equipped and without guidance. Wisdom is what is needed to bring perspective and cut through difficulties.

• However, wisdom is rarely available when most needed. People are generally unprepared to handle life’s issues and are left flailing or making things up as they go.

• True wisdom is not just knowledge or experience, but a set of personal truths and perspectives that guide decision-making and next steps. It provides clarity.

• Wisdom comes from deep introspection and contemplation of ideas, not just surface level strategies. It involves discovery of insights and consciously adopting and applying them to life.

• Having information or knowledge does not make one wise. Wisdom means living according to insights gained from reflection on life and experiences. It empowers one to take charge of their life and future.

So in summary, the introduction establishes that wisdom is sorely needed to navigate life’s challenges, but is rarely available when most in need. It defines what true wisdom is and how it is developed through deep thought and application to life.

• Knowledge does not necessarily equal wisdom. Some very knowledgeable people lack wisdom.

• True learning and wisdom comes from experiences that genuinely change you and your perspective on life. It sticks with you and affects how you see yourself and others.

• The book will discuss distinguishing good wisdom from bad, and exploring fundamental life topics like love. This can challenge emotions but the goal is guidance beyond feelings.

• Slow reflection is important to truly understand and internalize the ideas. Wisdom becomes part of who you are rather than just knowledge you possess.

• Applying wisdom requires examining your whole life and making changes where needed, which can be uncomfortable but builds a strong foundation.

• Quotes and ideas may provoke disagreement in readers looking to quickly judge things as right or wrong. Deeper consideration beyond immediate reactions is encouraged to truly ponder new perspectives.

• The passage discusses the concept of “bad wisdom” - clichés and sayings that may make you feel better temporarily but do not spark real change or growth. Examples given include “What’s for you will come to you” and “Believe in yourself.”

• True wisdom demands introspection, questioning norms, and taking action instead of just feeling better. It helps guide decisions and actions to create lasting change.

• Well-intentioned advice from others is not actually wisdom - it’s seeking approval, not solutions. And much self-help content spreads “bad wisdom” through appealing presentations rather than meaningful insights.

• Real wisdom provides a new perspective that cannot be unseen once realized. It alters how one sees life and interacts with it, changing relationships, careers and more. But applying a new view can feel alien at first when stepping into one’s actual life.

• The key is adopting different angles to look at problems instead of always from the same perspective, which has not solved issues. True wisdom is shifting one’s angle to find new solutions. Thinking in new ways is the art that leads to wisdom and change.

• The passage describes imagining having to cross obstacles like a river, muddy field, or dense woods to get to a town in the distance. This builds a mental picture of all the challenges along the way.

• It discusses how our mindsets, strengths, skills, physical state, etc. factor into how difficult we perceive the journey to be. We may start doubting if it’s worth it at all.

• The author argues this is like how we view obstacles in our own lives - from a limited perspective that makes things seem harder than they are. Changing our perspective can reveal new solutions.

• The book will address “fundamentals of life” like loss, love, success/failure to help understand our situations better. Compartmentalizing life is unhelpful - we are the same person in all areas.

• Readers should immerse themselves in the concepts, not just skim. Uncomfortable ideas may challenge current beliefs but can provide new wisdom. Developing understanding takes openness to change.

• The goal is personal growth and transforming one’s life, not just knowledge. Readers should fully engage rather than adding it to an unactioned bookshelf. Change requires grappling with challenging ideas.

Here are the key points about love from the passage:

• Lasting, powerful love is choosing to love someone for who they are fully, including parts you may not fully approve of or find agreeable. It’s not conditional on their behavior meeting certain expectations.

• Love is a choice to continue loving someone through both good and challenging times. It’s about remaining committed to the relationship and the other person.

• True love is unconditional - it flows freely without expectations or conditions placed on it. Attempting to love “with conditions” is really a strategy for survival, not love.

• Love itself doesn’t hurt; disappointment hurts when expectations are not met. To truly love is to let go of expectations.

• Love exists in the present moment. While love may be unconditional within the relationship, that doesn’t mean staying in an actively harmful situation indefinitely.

• Fantasizing about escape from a relationship while staying in it indicates love may have faded. True love involves fully being with and committing to the other person.

The passage advocates for choosing love as a commitment to fully accept and support another person, without conditions or expectations. This kind of unconditional love within a relationship can help it flourish even during difficult times.

This passage discusses when it’s time to end a relationship and do so with integrity. It says that sometimes a person’s behavior or choices lead the other person to no longer want to deal with their “stuff” - like cheating, stealing, or indulging in destructive behaviors for too long. Their lives may be heading in a direction the other didn’t agree to.

It’s important to take ownership of one’s unwillingness to continue dealing with the situation, without blaming or creating drama. If leaving the relationship, do so with the same care and honor with which one entered it, regardless of the other person’s response. This shows personal integrity.

The passage notes it’s important to love people wholly, both their good and bad qualities, with a whole and complete love. However, it also acknowledges that sometimes a situation gets in the way of that love and one is no longer willing to tackle it. In those cases, leaving honorably is important.

The overall message is that when ending a relationship, it’s best to do so cleanly and with integrity, rather than creating drama or blame, even if the other person’s actions contributed to the relationship ending. Focus on owning one’s own decision and feelings.

The passage discusses some fundamental principles about love. It argues that true love comes from within, not from seeking approval or validation from others. Some key points:

• Love is an expression, not something you can possess or receive from others. It is your own responsibility to cultivate love within yourself and share it outwardly.

• You cannot demand or expect love from others. Putting that burden on them will only lead to resentment. True love is freely given without conditions or expectations.

• The ultimate expression of love is loving others in the way they want and need to be loved, not just in the way you think love should be. People have different love languages and relationship needs.

• When someone says they don’t love you, it doesn’t reflect on your own worth or lovability. It’s about their own feelings and experience, not a judgment of you as a person. Don’t take it personally.

The overall message is that love is internal, not external. True love is expressed through understanding others and meeting their needs, not through seeking validation, approval or reciprocation from them. One must cultivate love from within to share it authentically with others.

• Loss is not just about losing a person through death, but also losing dreams, hopes, plans, etc. that didn’t come to fruition. These types of non-physical losses can still have a major impact if not properly acknowledged and processed.

• People often dwell in and are negatively impacted by non-physical losses for years by stuffing down their feelings rather than truly getting over it. Regret, disappointment, and resentment can fester.

• Loss of hope in particular is problematic, as hope is just a feeling rather than a tangible thing. Relying on hope to get through challenges is less effective than taking action.

• Looking back and comparing the present to a past lost love or idealized future can keep one stuck in fantasy rather than fully engaging with the present.

• Grieving loss is natural and appropriate up to a point. The key is to allow emotions to flow through without using unhelpful crutches like anger or resentment that prolong the grieving process.

• While grieving, one must also take responsibility for growing from the experience and choosing empowerment over feeling smothered by the loss long-term. The loss does not have to define one’s future.

The overall message is that all types of losses, not just death of a loved one, require acknowledgement and healthy processing to avoid lingering negative impacts on one’s life and future. Grieving is normal but so is choosing empowerment and growth over long-term dwelling in the loss.

• Experiencing loss, such as someone’s death, is like receiving a mortal wound that hurts deeply and plummets one’s emotions. Dealing with that level of pain and grief is incredibly difficult.

• Many people try to cope with loss through alcohol, drugs, staying positive, or waiting it out. However, that doesn’t truly address the grief. Others get stuck in constant cycles of lamenting the loss.

• Over time, if loss is not properly addressed, it can negatively impact one’s mental and emotional state by keeping them permanently tied to the past. However, grief can also empower and enliven if dealt with authentically.

• The author argues that when remembering loved ones who passed, one should experience warmth and be nurtured by their memory now, rather than feeling something is missing. This allows the relationship to transform rather than be seen as a loss.

• Proper grieving takes work and self-reflection. One must work through their experience of loss to ultimately reach a point of empowerment where it no longer cripples them, but instead reminds them of who they are and who they’ve been.

• There is a “sell by date” for grief where it stops being useful and starts taking over one’s life. At that point, one must do inner work to process and reposition the grief into a place of strength rather than weakness.

• In summary, loss can be dealt with in a way that empowers rather than smothers if one takes responsibility for their experience and does the necessary introspection and emotional processing work over time.

The passage discusses how many people feel stuck in their lives or hold themselves back due to fear. When asked what they are afraid of, people often cite fears of failure, judgment, or rejection. However, the author argues this may not be the full picture.

At a deeper level, the author says all people, including the reader, have built their lives around their fears rather than their potential. People choose what feels safe over what is possible. For example, people don’t ask for a raise due to fear of not getting it, or don’t ask someone out due to fear of rejection.

The passage notes that when people do fail or face rejection, it confirms deep-seated fears and buttons get pushed, leading them to avoid such situations in the future. Overall, the author argues people’s lives are constrained by their fears and a prioritization of what feels safe, rather than focused on potential and possibility. Fear of failure, judgment, etc. are used to excuse inaction and a “flattened” existence lacking greatness or breakthrough.

• Fear is often used as an excuse to avoid taking action and facing uncomfortable truths about oneself. However, most fears are not actually life-threatening and are ultimately meaningless.

• True fear arises from a desire to avoid judgment and scrutiny from others as well as oneself. People are afraid of failing publicly and being seen as inadequate.

• To overcome fear, one must pay attention to the physical sensations that accompany it and realize it is a normal, human reaction that does not need to paralyze you. Fear alone is not a reason not to venture forth.

• While survival instincts dictate some level of fear is useful, most modern fears do not serve any purpose and are blown out of proportion by attaching negative meanings and perceptions of the self.

• One is the architect of their own fears - certain situations or tasks become frightening due to internal stories and judgments about what those things imply about one’s character or ability. These stories are often misleading.

• To move past fear, one must question the meanings and perceptions behind it rather than taking the fear itself at face value. Fear is a subjective, constructed experience rather than an objective threat.

• The story describes how a person’s life has become consumed by fear, taking over their prime time and sense of identity. Fear now drives their actions and choices rather than being a companion.

• Fear is subjective - different people experience and react to it in different ways. It’s not an intrinsic property but something we project or ascribe significance to based on our own thoughts.

• Much of the fear we experience is of our own making, through the weight or importance we unconsciously attach to certain things. We magnify threats beyond reality.

• Instead of fighting fear, we need to accept it as a natural human experience and not let it control us. We can choose to face things with fear as a companion rather than allowing it to be the driver.

• Compassion for ourselves can slide into self-pity if we overuse it as an excuse to avoid challenges. We need to find a balance and sometimes push through discomfort for growth rather than constantly taking breaks.

• Facing fear allows us to connect more fully with our humanity. While we instinctively avoid it, we are also drawn to controlled experiences of fear like rollercoasters. True growth involves facing fears alongside them rather than in avoidance.

So in summary, the person is using fear as their primary identity but is learning to see it as a natural part of the human experience, not something to fight but also not something that should drive their entire life and stop them from living fully. It’s a journey from fear-driven to fear-accompanied.

• The passage discusses fundamental beliefs about success and what it means to take responsibility for one’s own life.

• It argues that as long as someone believes they are a “victim” and that their quality of life is determined by outside factors rather than their own choices and actions, they will never truly succeed.

• People have a tendency to blame others or external circumstances when things go wrong rather than accepting responsibility. This removes one’s own power and agency to change their situation.

• Even subtle blaming and making excuses takes away power. As long as people see themselves as victims of outside forces rather than the drivers of their own destiny, they will continue to experience failure and dissatisfaction.

• True success comes from believing you alone are responsible for your life and its outcomes, and that past hardships or faults of others do not determine your future if you take control. This mindset is foundational to achieiving fulfillment and accomplishing goals according to the passage.

• Holding others accountable for legitimate mistakes is reasonable, but you need to take primary responsibility for your own situation and progress. Blaming others won’t fix anything and waiting for an apology likely won’t help either.

• You need to shift your perspective to place the responsibility fully on your own shoulders, instead of seeing yourself as a victim of circumstances outside your control.

• When problems arise, the question should be “What happened and what can I do now?” rather than looking for someone else to blame. Take ownership of both the good and bad in your life.

• To succeed, you have to be willing to take full responsibility for how things are going, find answers, and take actions to resolve issues - not fall back on excuses or helplessness.

• Responsibility is empowering and can be the greatest gift, as it puts you in control of your own path forward rather than waiting for others. Drive your own life forward instead of feeling like a victim.

• Having the right relationship with failure is important. You don’t need to love failure, but you shouldn’t be afraid or discouraged by it either - see it as an inevitable part of success and keep pursuing your goals.

• The passage encourages the reader to consider their “life’s work” or legacy - what they want to leave behind after they die. It stresses the importance of having a purpose or project that outlives the individual.

• When the author was a teenager, they had a discussion with a friend where they said they wanted to do something that “lives on after I die.” However, they let this inspiring idea drift away without pursuing it or giving it significance.

• The author acknowledges they spent the first 40 years of their life “wrestling” and “mostly losing” without a clear sense of purpose or legacy. They lived an “ordinary, unremarkable life.”

• Now the reader is being asked to ponder this question of their life’s work or legacy at a young age, rather than waiting and potentially wasting years without direction or impact. Having a defining purpose or masterpiece to work towards is presented as key to living a wise and meaningful life.

So in summary, the key message is about the importance of identifying one’s “life’s work” or lasting contribution early, and using that as guidance and motivation rather than drifting through life without impact or legacy.

The passage describes how the author used to live a typical “doing” life focused on basic goals like career, family, money and material possessions. However, this type of life led to emptiness and lack of purpose.

It talks about how the author didn’t truly wake up and change direction until age 40. The passage warns that continuing down the same path would have led to regret.

It encourages the reader to examine the trajectory of their own life - relationships, health, finances, passions etc. - and imagine where the current path may ultimately lead. The message is that change is needed to avoid an unsatisfying outcome.

A key theme is that life should be about “being” rather than just “doing”. The author realizes they needed a life that demanded rising to new challenges and using their abilities for something meaningful, not just going through routines.

The passage advocates for critically examining one’s life and having the courage to change course, even later in life, rather than continuing on an unfulfilling path due to inertia or stubbornness. It offers hope that positive change is possible at any age.

• The passage discusses how modern society has lost a sense of community and interconnectedness that existed 500 years ago. Back then, everyone played a specific role in their community and found purpose and identity through their relationships and contributions to the group.

• Now, people can more easily hide behind online personas and anonymously express their feelings and differences. Face-to-face conversation and eye contact are avoided. People no longer feel the demand to play a role and show up for others.

• This has led to a focus on individual consumption, fulfillment, and self-interest over contributing to the larger group or society. Many seek influence, connection, and purpose through online platforms rather than their real-world communities.

• The author argues we need to move past merely focusing on our own wants, needs, and strategies, and start genuinely contributing to and making a difference for others without hidden agendas. Living authentically and selflessly for others is what truly fulfills human beings and leads to a meaningful life. We need to reconnect with our role in the larger “we” or community.

• Successful people often turn to contribution and impacting others later in life, once individual goals are achieved. The author calls people to wake up to what really matters - making a difference for others through selfless contribution, not strategic manipulation or self-interest.

The passage criticizes the way many people live focused primarily on themselves, their own needs and desires, resigning themselves to feeling small and powerless to make a real difference in the world.

It argues that deep down, people relate to themselves as if they don’t matter. As a result, they spend their lives trying to prove otherwise through selfish pursuits like chasing status, success or pleasure, rather than focusing on how they can positively impact and influence others.

The alternative proposed is to start seeing yourself as someone who can make a contribution to life and influence others, by consciously focusing each day on how you can be kind, understanding, patient or bring value to the people in your life through your words and actions.

Rather than making excuses, the challenge is to live deliberately and take actions that demonstrate the kind of person you want to be for others. This approach of focusing outwardly on contribution, the passage says, is what truly leads to fulfillment and a meaningful life.

This excerpt is from the book “Wise as F*ck” by Gary John Bishop. It encourages the reader to stop making excuses and live an extraordinary life by becoming their best self. Bishop argues that problems are a normal part of life and shouldn’t prevent happiness. He tells readers they already have the power to influence others just by being intentional in how they act and speak. To unleash one’s full potential, one must stand up for what they believe in despite fear or criticism from others. Bishop urges readers to take action towards their commitments by doing something aligned with their values immediately. He says to focus on positively impacting others through service rather than worrying about what people think. In summary, it’s a call to stop wasting time complaining and instead fully embrace living an engaged and passionate life.