Self Help

YOU'RE NOT A FAILURE_. YOUR MIND'S BEEN HACKED How To Reprogram Your Life To Become Successful And Happy - BERNHARD RICHTER

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Matheus Puppe

· 42 min read
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Here is a summary of key points about copyright:

  • Copyright gives the creator of an original work exclusive rights to it, usually for a limited time. This prevents others from copying, distributing, displaying or adapting the work without permission.

  • In this case, the book “YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE… YOUR MIND’S BEEN HACKED! How to Reprogram Your Life to Become Successful and Happy” is copyrighted in 2020 by the author Bernhard Richter.

  • The copyright notice asserts Bernhard Richter’s exclusive rights over the content of the book. This means no one can copy, distribute or adapt the content without his permission while the copyright is in effect.

  • Copyright protects original creative works like books, articles, music, films, photos and more. It allows the creator to benefit financially from their work and decide how it is used.

  • The main rights afforded under copyright are reproduction, distribution, public performance, public display, and derivative works (adaptations). Preventing infringement of these rights is the purpose of asserting copyright.

So in summary, the copyright notice establishes Bernhard Richter’s exclusive rights over the content in his book for the duration of the copyright term. This protects the work from unauthorized copying or distribution by others.

The passage describes several hardships and setbacks the author faced in life. As a child, he was humiliated for drawing on a classroom wall and received corporal punishment. Later, he suffered serious burns in a boat explosion accident that put him and his family through difficult times. He then lost his home and business when a builder he was working with stole project profits.

Further setbacks included being left with unpaid bills after a car accident caused by reckless police officers, and losing a substantial amount owed to him when a developer he worked for committed suicide. He was also falsely arrested and jailed along with a friend on fraud charges. In another frightening instance, he and a friend were kidnapped by men posing as detectives while on a business trip.

Throughout these trials, the author drew on his faith in God to get through difficult periods. He believes that by refusing to give up despite hardships, and applying lessons learned, one can achieve success and fulfillment in life. The passages aim to inspire readers who have also faced hardship not to lose hope in their dreams and goals.

  • The narrator’s friend was forced to follow a vehicle by men pretending to be detectives who accused people of dealing in diamonds.

  • When his friend realized trouble was looming, he made a U-turn and sped away towards the main town road. One of the fake detectives rolled out of the speeding vehicle.

  • The friend told the real police what happened. The police were already aware of a gang pretending to be detectives and stealing people and vehicles.

  • The police sent a van to look for the narrator. The fake detectives had an inside contact in the police force who kept them informed.

  • When the fake detectives got the message about the police van, they uncuffed the narrator and told him to run as they fled the house they were holding him in.

  • This reflects a situation where a gang was deceiving people and working with a corrupt police contact to steal from their victims. The narrator and his friend were targeted but ultimately escaped with help from the real police.

Here is a summary of the key points from the passages:

  • Henry Ford was fascinated by the potential of gas-powered engines and was passionate about developing an affordable horseless carriage to revolutionize transportation. This vision fueled his desire to pursue his goal.

  • He built a workshop in his home to work on engine designs and prototypes after his day job. He failed repeatedly in his initial attempts but kept learning and improving.

  • His persistence and willingness to learn from mistakes eventually led to success with the Model T, which revolutionized the automobile industry through affordable mass production using the assembly line.

  • Andrew Carnegie was knowledgeable about the steel industry from an early age and had a vision of low-cost steel production. He started small but was willing to take risks and reinvest profits.

  • His strategic acquisitions of other companies and use of the latest technologies allowed him to achieve massive economies of scale. This enabled low prices that drove the growth of his business into the largest in the world.

  • Both Carnegie and Ford exhibited persistence through failures, continuous learning and improvement, a visionary goal, willingness to take risks and reinvest profits, and leveraging of new technologies - all of which contributed to their revolutionary successes in their industries.

  • Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, and Walt Disney all experienced notable failures early in their careers but refused to give up on their dreams and ambitions.

  • Ford built his first car, the Quadricycle, in 1896 but it was not suitable for large-scale production. He took these lessons to improve his subsequent vehicles.

  • Edison conducted over 10,000 experiments trying to invent the practical lightbulb before succeeding. He said this taught him 9,000 ways that wouldn’t work.

  • Disney was fired from his first job for allegedly lacking imagination. His first animation studio also failed due to financial mismanagement.

  • Despite failures, all three believed in themselves and their visions. They analyzed mistakes to improve rather than seeing failures as the end.

  • Financial backing also proved challenging until Ford and Disney found partners who gave them independence and freedom to innovate.

  • Their persistence and refusal to give up, even in the face of failures and doubters, ultimately led to revolutionary innovations and huge commercial successes that shaped industries.

  • A key lesson is that failures should be learning experiences, not reasons to quit, if one’s goal and vision remain strong. Success requires perseverance through setbacks.

  • Internet business opportunities are often pitched as easy ways to make money, but in reality 95% or more of people who try them fail. It’s not as simple as the ads make it seem.

  • To truly succeed, one needs to learn the “secret recipes” and keys that unlock success. Things like perseverance, learning from failures, strong motivation, clear goals and taking action are more important than any particular business idea.

  • Successful people view failures as learning experiences rather than reasons to quit. They are determined to achieve their goals no matter what obstacles come up.

  • Acquiring knowledge is crucial for success. Successful innovators like Ford and Edison continually learned more about their fields through various means.

  • The “cycle of success” involves gaining knowledge, then applying that knowledge through action. Taking action leads to results, which build confidence and motivation to continue taking action. It’s an iterative process.

  • Certifications and degrees are meant to demonstrate one has gained sufficient knowledge to apply skills, not guarantees of success alone. Ongoing learning and action are still required to achieve goals.

So in summary, the passage emphasizes that true success comes from developing the right mindsets and continuously learning and improving through experience, not just from any single business or money-making idea. Perseverance and ongoing growth are key.

  • Self-confidence is created when you try something and succeed, like graduating or mastering a new skill. Achieving results provides proof that you can succeed.

  • Successful people understand the importance of taking action and applying knowledge to get results. Results boost self-confidence and allow you to overcome obstacles.

  • The story is told of a business executive who was given a fake check from “John D. Rockefeller”. Not cashing the check but believing it was real restored his confidence, allowing him to turn his business around through better deals.

  • Building on success through repeated accomplishments strengthens self-confidence, which is the foundation for great achievements. Taking daily actions without doubting builds confidence through familiarity and results.

  • Persistence is needed to face obstacles and failures, continuing until the problem is solved. Many give up too easily due to fear or difficulties. Repeating the success cycle is key to maximizing chances of success long-term.

  • Childhood experiences can influence beliefs and limiting behaviors. Overcoming early patterns requires persistence in acquiring knowledge and taking consistent action to achieve boosting results.

Here is a summary of key points from the provided text:

  • k and walk - Refers to Washington Roebling, the engineer overseeing construction of the Brooklyn Bridge. He was injured during construction and could not talk or walk afterwards.

  • Never discouraged - Despite his injuries, Washington was determined to complete the bridge. He developed a tapping code to communicate with his wife to relay instructions to engineers. This allowed the project to continue for 13 years until completion.

  • Persistence - Washington showed great persistence in chasing his goal of completing the bridge despite facing immense challenges with his injuries and doubters. His determination was a driving factor in the eventual success.

  • Communication method - Washington was only able to move one finger after his injury. He used tapping his finger on his wife’s arm as a means to slowly communicate and relay instructions to keep giving the engineers directions to build the bridge.

So in summary, k and walk refers to Washington Roebling’s inability to talk or walk after his injury, but he persisted through developing an innovative communication method to continue overseeing the bridge construction until completion. His determination was key to the eventual success of the project.

  • Most people are not aware of and don’t appreciate the small, everyday tasks they accomplish without thinking, like getting dressed or cooking. This means they miss out on a sense of fulfillment from achieving goals.

  • Every step taken toward a goal, no matter how small, is a successful act and victory in itself. One should see the entire process as success, not just the end result.

  • It’s important to recognize and praise oneself and others for things like getting dressed or doing chores, not just big accomplishments. Treating small tasks as successes builds confidence and positive mindset.

  • Around 95% of people have a mostly negative mindset, owning just 13% of the world’s wealth, while 5% with positive mindsets own 87% of wealth. Attitude impacts behavior and results.

  • Systems in the world like workplaces, banks, schools control people and encourage negative thinking to manipulate behavior and benefit the system more than the individual.

  • Understanding why most people think negatively is important for business owners to attract customers and help change mindsets.

  • Examining one’s own upbringing and how personality and attitudes were formed is key to understanding current mindset and making changes towards positivity and success.

  • Our personalities and mental attitudes are formed early in life, especially from birth to age 7, as our subconscious mind records experiences and messages we receive.

  • During this time, our attitudes are shaped by positive or negative thoughts and stimuli that reach our conscious mind. Our subconscious mind creates mental “blueprints” by recording and storing these experiences.

  • Later in life, when we encounter similar situations, our subconscious mind recalls these blueprints and dictates how we should behave or feel, influencing our actions and beliefs.

  • The five senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch) transmit external impulses and messages to our conscious mind. Our subconscious records and stores anything processed by the conscious mind.

  • Negative messages received early in life, such as criticism, rejection, or feelings of failure, become ingrained in our subconscious blueprints and can limit our potential if not addressed. Understanding how our subconscious was formed enables us to overcome negative influences and behaviors.

The key points are that our early life experiences shape our subconscious beliefs and attitudes, and recognizing this allows us to take control of influences from the past that may be hindering our present and future success. Understanding the role of our senses and subconscious gives us power over our thoughts and behaviors.

The senses of taste, smell, sight, sound and touch allow stimuli to enter our subconscious minds and form memories and associations. When we later encounter related stimuli, our subconscious can recall the original experiences and associated emotions.

For example, the smell of an old farm pigsty might remind someone of happy childhood memories caring for a pig, reawakening feelings of joy. But for someone with an unpleasant experience on a farm, the same smell could trigger unhappy memories.

Taste is another strong pathway, as flavors become linked to past experiences. Craving a childhood ice cream or pie years later can relate to happy feelings of love, warmth and security from sharing it with family.

Memories formed during times of lack or deprivation, like hunger, can also strongly influence later behaviors through subconscious associations. Someone who starved may struggle to diet due to anxiety about lack of food triggered by restricting intake.

Marketers leverage these principles to create ads that tap into consumers’ subconscious desires and problems in order to sell products as solutions. The senses shape our unconscious memories and associations, which can powerfully motivate thoughts and behaviors.

  • Children often form emotional attachments to comforting objects that remind them of the warmth, love and protection they felt when being held by their mother.

  • These attachments can continue into adulthood, where feelings of loneliness, fear or sadness may trigger memories of childhood comfort and a desire to hug or touch something.

  • The five senses play an important role in collecting and storing memories and feelings from early experiences. Stimuli entering through sight, sound, smell, taste or touch get recorded in the subconscious mind.

  • In times of similar emotions later in life, the subconscious mind can replay these early memories and influence behaviors and feelings in the present.

  • Parental figures like parents, grandparents or teachers have a huge influence on forming a child’s personality from birth to age 7 as their messages and examples get absorbed through the senses.

  • Children see parental figures as authorities whose words are truth and will influence how they see the world. These early lessons can shape behaviors and mindsets long-term.

  • Attitude refers to a person’s overall mindset, opinions, feelings and behaviors. It can be either positive or negative.

  • One’s attitude has a huge influence on outcomes and success. People with positive attitudes are more likely to achieve their goals.

  • Examples are given of how negative parental figures like Phil’s mother influenced him with degrading words and attitudes, setting him on a path towards criminal behavior.

  • Negative attitudes are reinforced through negative media, friends, environments. This keeps people trapped in suffering and mediocrity.

  • Success requires changing one’s inner mindset/attitudes which then changes one’s outer life and behaviors. Positive attitudes lead to positive outcomes.

  • Employers often value attitude over experience, as attitude determines outcomes more than anything else.

  • Upcoming chapters will identify specific behaviors typical of those with negative versus positive attitudes, and the different results those behaviors produce. This is meant to help the reader self-assess their own attitudes and drive improvement.

The overall message is that one’s attitude has immense power to either inhibit or enable success, so changing to a more positive attitude is vital for achieving goals and a better life. Knowing how attitudes influence behaviors and outcomes is an important step in that process.

  • The article discusses negative attitudes like inconsideration, pessimism, rudeness, coldness, and being sour. These attitudes are interrelated and stem from a negative mindset.

  • People with a negative mindset tend to be inconsiderate of others and not care how their words/actions affect others. They are pessimistic and always focus on the negatives.

  • They can also be rude, interrupting others and not showing proper manners. They have a cold demeanor and do not show warmth or commitment to relationships.

  • Additionally, negative people are often in a bad mood and sour about things, blaming external factors for problems and not taking responsibility.

  • Understanding these negative behaviors can help identify them in oneself and others. It gives insight into how a negative mindset shapes one’s interactions and outlook. The goal is to apply this knowledge to test one’s own behavior and attitudes.

  • In summary, the article analyzes various expressions of a negative mental attitude and how this impacts social interactions and relationships in a detrimental way.

Here are some key points about the negative consequences of worry and excessive negative thinking:

  • It causes physical stress reactions in the body like tension, fatigue, muscle aches, digestive issues, etc. as the mind and body are constantly activated by worrying thoughts.

  • Negative thinkers tend to magnify potential dangers or problems far beyond reality and see situations as hopeless with no solutions.

  • It distracts the mind from being productive and solving real problems. Energy is spent mentally rehashing worst-case scenarios that may not even occur.

  • It can spread anxiety and depression to others as the worrier constantly voices their negative predictions and fears. This was seen with the mother pestering her husband.

  • In severe cases it requires medical intervention like antidepressants to manage symptoms and retrain more balanced thinking.

  • The worrier misses out on enjoying present moments as the mind is always occupied with “what ifs” of the future. Quality of life suffers.

Have you ever experienced periods of excessive worry or known someone whose constant worrying negatively impacted you or others close to them? What was the situation and how did it make you feel?

  • The woman was feeling very anxious and stressed about her daughter being in distress. She was so tense and worried that she couldn’t do her usual daily tasks or concentrate on anything else. When her husband tried to soothe her, she became irritated and accused him of not understanding. These are signs of serious anxiety.

  • Parents often worry excessively about their children’s safety, like waiting up until they return home. Children see this as unnecessary checking up on them. However, constant worrying has negative health impacts by causing muscle tension, weaker blood flow, and potential issues like strokes or cancer.

  • Even trying to reassure parents that “everything will be fine” is reminiscent of how children try to soothe their parents’ worries, though the parents’ concern cannot always be eased.

  • In summary, the passage discusses the negative effects of excessive worry and anxiety, especially among parents concerned for their children’s well-being. While intended to show care, constant worrying takes a toll on physical and mental health.

  • The passage discusses how many people have a negative mindset in their jobs, experiencing stress, tiredness and health issues from long hours and pressure to perform. They dread Mondays and can’t wait for the weekends.

  • Their mood lifts on Fridays as they look forward to the weekend, thanking God it’s Friday. They go out to socialize and forget about work. But by Sunday they dread going back to work on Monday.

  • It says 95% of people have this mindset, experiencing job weariness from Monday to Thursday but looking forward to Fridays. The writer mentions they used to be like this but has changed.

  • It goes on to discuss how a negative mindset can lead to psychosomatic illnesses as negative thoughts cause physical symptoms. Many people enjoy talking about their ailments and trying to one-up others on who suffers more.

  • A negative mindset is correlated with stress, anxiety and other mental/emotional factors that prevent success. It can shorten lifespans compared to positive people.

  • The passage advises listening to what people say when greeting them to assess their mindset - positive or negative. It encourages adopting a positive mindset.

This discusses the mindset and behaviors of people who tend to remain in poverty or unsuccessful in life due to a negative attitude and thinking patterns. They are content with barely enough and don’t put in much effort to improve their situation.

While they seem content on the surface, deep down they likely desire more success. Their negative mindset was often influenced by parents who grew up in poverty and emphasized lack. They blame outside factors for their failures rather than taking responsibility.

This leads to an unfulfilled life, as they compare themselves to successful people but don’t take action. They are lonely due to their negative behaviors pushing others away. They also feel constant guilt over past mistakes and perceived failures.

The passage encourages readers to reflect on whether they display these negative patterns. It provides questions to understand if one’s mindset is mainly positive or negative. Recognizing negative traits is the first step to changing thought patterns and adopting a success mindset focused on achievement and abundance instead of lack.

  • The chapter discusses the mindset of successful people known as “achievers” - the 5% who accomplish their goals through a positive mental attitude.

  • It explores 5 attitudes that characterize achievers and help them achieve success:

  1. Success aspiring attitude - Having a strong desire to succeed and achieve goals against all odds, like Jim Carrey who visualized and worked towards his goal of being a Hollywood actor.

  2. Teachable attitude - Being willing to learn and acquire new knowledge and skills needed for success, like training on the job to learn a business from the ground up.

  3. Initiative attitude - Taking responsibility and action to turn goals and opportunities into reality through hard work and perseverance.

  4. Resourceful attitude - Finding creative solutions to problems and making the most of available resources through innovation and adaptation.

  5. Persistence attitude - Keeping a long-term vision and continuing to work towards goals even in the face of difficulties or setbacks.

  • Examining one’s own attitudes and behaviors can provide insights into why certain goals have or have not been achieved so far. Maintaining a positive mindset is key to success.

Here are the key points about having an excellent serving attitude:

  • Focus on providing excellent customer service, not just doing the minimum required. Go above and beyond to ensure customer satisfaction.

  • Greet customers with a smile and friendly demeanor. Make them feel welcome and cared for.

  • Be attentive to customers’ needs. Check on them regularly and anticipate what else you can do for them.

  • Have product knowledge so you can recommend options and answer questions helpfully.

  • Be polite, respectful and patient even during busy or frustrating times. Maintain a positive attitude.

  • Ensure food and drinks are delivered promptly. Apologize for any delays and keep customers updated.

  • Check that everything is to the customer’s liking and ask if they need anything else.

  • Thank customers sincerely and invite them to return. Make them feel valued.

The key is treating customer service as more than just a job - have real pride in satisfying customers and making their experience excellent. A positive can-do attitude is crucial for succeeding in any customer-facing role.

  • A man at a restaurant waved over a waitress for a glass of water. The first waitress took her time, chatting with other tables before finally bringing him the water.

  • A few hours later, when the man wanted more water before leaving, he waved over another waitress. She smiled, leaned in to take the order, and promptly went to get the water.

  • When she returned, she had not only a glass of water but also a jug of cold water, ice, and slices of lemon - exceeding his request.

  • This illustrates the difference between the two waitresses’ service attitudes. The first only did the minimum, while the second went above and beyond to provide excellent service.

  • As a result, the second waitress who exceeded expectations would likely receive a much bigger tip than the first waitress who only did the bare minimum requested. Having a positive, excellent serving attitude leads to better results than a neutral or negative one.

  • Robert had a goal to become the insurer for one of the largest companies in the city, which was his ultimate goal and dream.

  • For years, he tried everything to schedule a meeting with the CEO but was repeatedly denied and told the CEO was too busy. His friends tried too and gave up, telling him to quit.

  • Robert came up with a plan to get the CEO’s attention by sending a box that appeared to have disembodied limbs inside. When opened, it actually contained fake limbs with a note asking to meet.

  • His unusual stunt worked - the CEO was intrigued and had Robert scheduled for a meeting. As a result, Robert achieved his goal of meeting the CEO and is now doing ongoing business with the large company.

  • Robert’s determined attitude and refusal to quit despite obstacles is what allowed him to achieve his goal. His “why” or motivation was bigger than the problems and distractions trying to stop him. His story shows how persistence and creative problem-solving can help one succeed.

  • Most successful people are “self-made” and started with little knowledge or money, having to struggle and fail repeatedly before succeeding. They were initially not believed in or supported.

  • The key is having a strong motivation and determination to achieve your goals, along with a positive attitude. Successful people view challenges as opportunities rather than obstacles.

  • It’s important to have a clear vision or dream of what you want to achieve that will make you happy and fulfilled. Write this down in detail.

  • Rate your determination to reach this goal on a scale of 1-10. Identify the strongest real reasons that fuel your motivation. Money alone is not a good enough reason.

  • Repeat your goal and reasons for achieving it aloud daily to cultivate strong positive emotions and a “burning desire” that drives you towards success.

  • Take action towards your goal, no matter how small, as this sets powerful forces in motion. Success comes through continuing progress in the cycle of setting goals, taking action, learning from failures, and persisting.

  • Rely on your own empowerment and abilities rather than external factors. With determination and by accessing your inner power, you can accomplish more than you imagine.

  • People, opportunities, jobs, etc. are merely “pipelines” or “channels” through which you receive the means to achieve your goals, but they are not your source. Your inner self or power is your true source.

  • You can open up pipelines by applying principles like thinking positively, taking action, and developing your knowledge and skills.

  • Success starts from within through your thoughts and mindset. Positive thinking leads to positive speaking, actions, behaviors and ultimately achieving your goals.

  • Your thoughts shape your words, body language, and how you interact with others. Others will respond positively if they perceive your positive energy, or negatively if they perceive negativity.

  • Maintaining a positive attitude through knowledge, strong desire, confidence and positive behavior will help you perform better and influence others positively. It can open doors to opportunities and lead to success. Your mindset, words and repeated behaviors shape your character and results.

The chapter focuses on highlighting positive traits like knowledge, desire, confidence and behaviors that lead to success, and how to identify areas of improvement. The key message is that success begins from developing a positive mindset and taking empowered action.

Here is a summary of the future I want to create that fills me with passion:

I want to build a future where I am helping to improve people’s lives through technology. As a software engineer and entrepreneur, I aim to start a company that develops applications and tools to help solve real problems facing communities. Specifically, I want to focus on creating technologies that can help address issues related to healthcare, education, and sustainability.

Developing solutions that directly contribute to helping and empowering others is incredibly meaningful and fulfilling for me. I get excited thinking about the potential positive impact my work could have. Every day at my job or working on side projects, I will approach each task with enthusiasm and determination, knowing that my efforts are building towards that larger purpose and vision.

Small wins along the way will motivate me to keep going, as I continually learn and grow in my skills. Reaching milestones will strengthen my belief that I can achieve this goal. Even difficult periods will be endured with resilience, as I stay focused on how my work is in service of others. Ultimately, successfully starting and building this technology company is about more than financial success - it is about creating value for people and making a difference in the world through innovative solutions. That is what drives my passion and fuels my desire to turn this future into a reality.

The art of mastering a skill or ability is still a secret to negative people. Negative people tend to focus on tasks they dislike and work only for money. They hate their boss and circumstances at work, and gossip about coworkers. These thought patterns and behaviors drain their energy and prevent them from achieving goals objectively.

Enthusiasm is contagious and improves workplace morale and productivity. When one positive person is enthusiastic at work, it rubs off on others. Soon the entire workforce is more productive and positive because people start to enjoy their work. A story is told of a soldier named Jerry who approached tedious tasks with enthusiasm, which lifted the mood of others working alongside him. Enthusiasm enhances success.

The passage discusses goals and why many people fail to achieve them. It notes that while some people learn about goal-setting, many do not properly commit or apply what they learn. Failure and setbacks can cause people to give up entirely due to feelings of shame.

The passage defines goals as being specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound (SMART). It emphasizes the importance of clearly visualizing the goal through all senses to strengthen its mental impression. Examples are given of how to creatively envision a goal like owning a car.

The story is then told of a young boy named Jeff who grows up poor but ambitious. He earns money delivering newspapers and is ambitious to improve his situation. He saves diligently to buy a bicycle, which increases his earnings potential. Jeff’s example demonstrates how properly committing to goals through small, steady actions can lead to success over time despite challenges. Overall, the passage stresses the power of setting and visualizing SMART goals to achieve dreams.

  • The person promised to ask the newspaper’s distribution manager if his friends could deliver newspapers where they lived, on the condition that they pay him a percentage of their earnings, which would allow him to make extra money from their work.

  • As his friends earned money delivering papers, he was able to earn more too from the percentage. This was the start of his first small business venture.

  • Over time, he asked the manager for bigger delivery areas as his friends were completing tasks faster with their new bikes. This increased the amounts owed to him.

  • By contributing to his household, he was able to help his mother and create a better life, achieving his initial goal.

  • Later after school, he started his own small business with his savings and built it into a profitable enterprise, taking care of his parents as he had planned.

  • His success began with a clear goal, a strong motivation, taking action through a planned approach. He became wealthy through achieving and having a positive mindset.

  • In contrast, many of his peers did not see the potential and ended up working for him later through his businesses.

The passage discusses how people with positive attitudes and behaviors create a warm and caring atmosphere for others. It tells a story about a prince who was looking for a wife and chose the youngest, less beautiful sister because he saw her kindness and caring nature. Even though she was not the fairest at first, under his and her kind treatment of others, her beauty blossomed.

The passage encourages the reader to reflect on how many people make them feel warm and cared for, and also to reflect on how many people they make feel that way through their own positive interactions. It stresses the importance of cultivating positive behaviors to enrich one’s own life and the lives of others.

The next section discusses some of the “sweet fruits” or positive results that come from consistently displaying positive behaviors, such as success, good health, abundance, fulfilling relationships and achievements. It encourages the reader to keep taking action through daily positive behaviors to achieve their dreams.

  • When you repeat positive behaviors long enough, they become habits and shape your character. Brian stayed positive despite setbacks in his business and difficult jobs.

  • Brian served customers well at his restaurant job, building positive relationships. This led to increased tips and job offers despite attempts to fire him unfairly.

  • He used undesirable jobs as opportunities to help others and exceed expectations, even when unappreciated. This opened new doors.

  • Staying positive opened Brian’s eyes to being exploited. He addressed issues directly and kept looking until finding a better position through a customer connection.

  • Brian’s habits of positivity, hard work, and teachability created repeated success enhancing opportunities, even from undesirable situations. His character transformed challenges into stepping stones.

Staying determined, habituating positive thought and action patterns, and using every situation to help others or learn are keys to overcoming obstacles and achieving goals, as Brian’s story demonstrates.

  • Listening well requires focusing on understanding what the other person is saying, rather than mentally rebutting or judging them. It means having a teachable attitude.

  • Common barriers to good listening include prejudging others, believing you already know everything, and being distracted by formulating your own response instead of listening.

  • People with positive mindsets listen to learn, find opportunities, and better themselves. They are open to new ideas from various sources.

  • Entrepreneurs who listen well can spot business ideas from casual conversations. Positive people take action on useful ideas they hear, while negative people do not.

  • Having a teachable attitude means acknowledging your own limitations and being open to learning from others. It involves actively listening with empathy and a willingness to change your views based on evidence.

  • Energy levels affect performance. People with high energy work productively and tackle obstacles, while low energy leads to weak performance like complaining or shirking duties.

The passage discusses the importance of having high energy levels and a positive attitude. People with these qualities stand out, get promoted faster, and are more successful. Employers prefer to hire people with enthusiasm even if they lack experience, as attitude is seen as more important than skills.

An anecdote is provided about hiring someone for marketing. The candidate with experience but low energy was passed over for someone less experienced but very positive and engaged. Studies show companies are many times more likely to hire someone with attitude over skills.

Having high energy is noticeable in how one carries themselves. Names of highly energetic people are given as examples of success they achieved through their positivity. Inner peace and stress management are also discussed as important for focusing one’s mind and achieving goals. Negativity is said to prevent optimal performance and success.

In summary, the passage advocates having a positive, energetic attitude and inner peace as keys to standing out, getting hired/promoted, and achieving success over those with skills but lacking in enthusiasm and outlook. Managing stress and focusing thoughts positively are seen as pathways to inner peace and high performance.

  • Fear comes in two forms - real fear which is our innate response to actual physical threats, and false/irrational fear which is created in our mind about imagined scenarios that may threaten our self-image or ego.

  • Irrational fear does not have evidence that the feared event will actually happen, but we imagine worst case scenarios and think of them as real possibilities. This can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

  • When faced with a challenge we have not tried before, fear, doubt and uncertainty may arise from thinking of possible negative outcomes. Positive people focus on their goal and do not let fears deter them.

  • Overcoming fear requires taking control of our thoughts and not allowing imagined scenarios to dictate our behavior. We must challenge our fears with evidence rather than believing the fears are real and manifesting them through worried thinking and physical responses.

  • Courage and fearlessness come from facing challenges head on without letting irrational fears paralyze us into inaction or prematurely giving up on goals and dreams. The unknown can only be conquered by venturing into it bravely.

  • Positive people take responsibility for their actions and the tasks assigned to them. They understand having responsibility means being accountable for getting things done properly.

  • By taking responsibility, they are given authority over their duties and how they will carry them out. This includes planning, managing others, and ensuring deadlines are met.

  • They don’t make excuses when mistakes happen but own up to errors and work to correct them. This creates a more positive work environment.

  • Being responsible makes positive people sought after by employers and others. They can be trusted and relied on to complete jobs successfully through diligent effort and use of resources.

  • In contrast, failing to take responsibility or becoming lax in one’s duties near retirement can compromise quality like in the story of the carpenter whose focus shifted from work to leisure.

The main idea is that positive people are valued for shouldering accountability in a reliable, solution-oriented way rather than avoiding it or becoming careless in their responsibilities.

  • The carpenter built a house but was not focused on quality since he didn’t know it was for himself. When he found out it was his house, he realized he should have done it differently.

  • Many people go through life distracted and not giving their best, not fully taking responsibility. Then they realize they are “living in the houses they built” and it’s too late to do it over.

  • Taking responsibility and authority over your actions is important. If you obey authorities in your life like parents and bosses, they will reward you. But you have to focus on the responsibilities given to you.

  • Your life is like a house you are building each day. Every action and choice determines the “kind of life or house you are building.” You need to take your behavior seriously and ensure your “work is solid from the ground up.”

  • It’s never too late to improve your life, but you have to take responsibility and give your best. Remember that “life is a DIY project” and you are responsible for the results.

The key message is we should fully take responsibility for our lives and focus on building them well through our actions each day, instead of being distracted and not giving our best efforts. It’s important to learn from mistakes when we realize the results of our past behavior.

Our minds store information from experiences like a computer database. Repeated thoughts and actions form neural pathways that dictate future behavior without conscious thought - our habits become who we are.

Children in particular learn from watching parental figures. If a stressed mother reacts angrily in traffic, it could negatively impact her children by teaching them to handle stress the same way. But if she chooses to remain calm and thinks positively, it sets a good example and spares the children anxiety.

Negative thoughts from past experiences stored in our subconscious can influence our behavior in unhelpful ways. Signs this is happening include worrying excessively about things like job security, crime rates or business competition. This anxiety and pessimism can become a self-fulfilling prophecy through how it colors our actions.

However, understanding where our thought patterns come from - namely past influences and upbringing - is empowering. It shows we have the ability to change our habits and overcome negative mindsets by choosing different thoughts and actions going forward. This “Aha moment” can free us from unhelpful ways of thinking and open the door to greater success.

  • The habits, thoughts, emotions and behaviors that people developed as children were largely influenced by parental and authority figures through their words, actions and the emotional circumstances they experienced.

  • Many adult behaviors and patterns are simply replications of what was modeled for them as children by important people in their lives. This includes how they think, feel, communicate and behave.

  • Rather than blaming oneself, it’s important to recognize that much of one’s mindset was imposed on them from a young age by others. However, one does not need to remain constrained by those old patterns.

  • By asking oneself honest questions about whether the old ways of thinking still serve them well, one can choose to adopt new, more positive behaviors and habits that better support their goals and happiness.

  • Others’ influence, while formative, does not determine one’s destiny. With awareness and effort, one can take control of their thoughts and life direction to become the person they truly want to be. Changing harmful thought patterns is key to changing one’s experiences and outcomes.

  • Fears often arise from old, conditioned patterns of thinking. But one has power over their own mind and can consciously replace negative thoughts with empowering ones to overcome fears and limitations from the past.

  • Making a clear, decisive choice is the first step in the process of achieving goals. It is similar to Julius Caesar crossing the Rubicon river - a point of no return.

  • Your reason for pursuing a goal (‘why’) will provide motivation and drive you to take continuous action. It needs to create intense positive emotions and picture the desired outcome in vivid detail.

  • Negative emotions like fear, jealousy or revenge should not form the basis of your motivating reason, as this could lead to unhealthy obsession.

  • Regularly reviewing your written goal decision and reason for pursuing it will keep you focused on progressing through the necessary steps to achieve results.

  • While making a decision is important, it is not enough on its own. You must then take disciplined, planned actions to overcome obstacles on the path towards your desired outcome or risk failure. Your motivations should support healthy, determined effort over time.

  • The man became obsessed with owning the car. It went from being a source of joy to something he wanted to use to hurt those who mocked him.

  • He asked his “friends” to meet him at a bar to show off his new car. When they arrived, he drove by loudly to get their attention, then drove back and told them he doesn’t need them anymore and is too successful for them now. He sped off, flipping them off.

  • After this, he struggled to make new friends. He used the car to impress others instead of enjoying driving it. Later he got rid of the car and left town, never to be seen again.

  • His negative motives of wanting to hurt others and prove he was better than his friends backfired. It did not lead to long-term happiness or positive relationships. Relying on destroying others to achieve goals will not fulfill you in the end.

The key events were the man becoming obsessed with the car, using it to show off to and insult his former friends, which hurt his ability to form new relationships. His negative motives based on feeling superior to others ultimately did not satisfy him and he ended up alone.

Here is a realistic summary incorporating the key points provided:

My goal is to purchase my family’s dream home within the next 5 years. We currently rent a small apartment that does not meet our growing needs. Owning our own home is important for several reasons:

  • It will provide stability and space for our family as we look to start having children in the next year or two. I want to be able to give our kids a backyard to play in safely.

  • Financial stability is important for raising a family. Owning a home is an investment that will gain value over time as property values rise in our area. It also protects us from potential rent increases or the landlord deciding to sell.

  • I envision Sunday dinners with my parents and in-laws, watching our children play and grow up together in a home filled with family and memories. Providing that for my family is what drives me.

To reach this goal, I plan to utilize my current job as a vehicle to save money. I earn a steady income as an account manager that allows me to consistently put aside funds each month into a separate savings account dedicated for this purpose. Over the next 5 years, with modest increases to my savings each year, I estimate having enough for a 10% down payment on an average priced home in the area my family wants to settle down.

I will know I am on track to achieving this goal if I hit the following savings benchmarks: $10,000 saved after year 1, $25,000 after year 3, and $40,000 total after 5 years. Tracking my progress against these measurable milestones will help maintain motivation and ensure I am on pace to reach my ultimate goal.

  • The goal of setting goals is to make previously unreachable or fuzzy dreams more attainable and achievable by breaking them down into strategic short, medium and long term steps.

  • It’s important to obtain the necessary knowledge, skills and resources to succeed. This may involve learning, training, finding work or starting a business.

  • Taking actionable steps each day brings the goal closer into view and builds confidence that it can be achieved. This improves self-image and motivation.

  • Negative behaviors and limiting beliefs need to be identified and replaced. One must understand what is keeping them stuck and change those patterns.

  • Having a timeframe for achieving various milestones keeps the goal urgent and on track. Goals should fulfill deeper needs and fit with other responsibilities.

  • Creating a detailed plan maps out the commitment and strategy. The plan should be adapted as needed but the overall goal remains the guiding light.

  • Attitude, habits and mindset must shift to a positive, solution-oriented belief that the goal is possible and within one’s abilities to achieve. Overcoming obstacles keeps one on course.

So in summary, setting clear, strategic goals and systematically working to achieve them through knowledge, skills, actions and positive mindset shifts can make previously unreachable dreams attainable.

The passage describes how negative thoughts and behaviors, like stressing about failure or inability to pay bills, can cause anxiety and unhealthy coping mechanisms. This includes eating to cope with emotions, using alcohol to numb problems, or lashing out at others unfairly.

It recommends identifying specific negative behaviors or habits you want to change, and consciously working to replace them with positive alternatives. This involves writing down an action plan, continually implementing it until new habits form.

It’s important to stay aware of your thoughts, words and actions, and how they make you and others feel. Seek objective feedback from trusted others. When negative thoughts come up, consciously reject them and replace them with affirming self-talk based on your core beliefs.

To change habits, keep consciously stopping old behaviors and visualizing new, positive ones until new neural pathways form. Completely avoid people, places or things that could trigger relapses for the first 30 days as new habits solidify.

Be aware of who you spend time with and their influence - make sure to prioritize supportive people who enhance your goals rather than holding you back. Carefully choose to limit time with negative influences for your own progress and well-being. Guard your mind from taking on negative thoughts of others.

In summary, the passage provides guidance on identifying and replacing unhelpful behaviors with an action plan, through self-awareness, self-talk, avoiding triggers, and choosing influences that support positive change and growth.

  • Changing your posture from a negative or slumped posture to an upright, confident “Superman” posture can immediately change your emotions and thinking in a positive way.

  • Standing up straight, lifting your head, smiling, breathing deeply and focusing on positive thoughts while in that posture activates the mind-body connection to shift your physiology and emotions.

  • Failures along the way are normal and expected as you work to change habits and achieve goals. View failures as learning experiences, not personal flaws.

  • Giving back to others in need, through sharing knowledge, skills, resources or time, is important once you achieve success and goals. Helping others achieve their potential and goals brings the greatest joy.

  • Those struggling with hardship often focus only on their own needs due to pain and negativity. But sharing what you have learned and attained with others in similar situations can positively impact lives and be extremely valuable.

  • Giving should be done without expectation of repayment or reward. It is a universal principle found in many religious texts that spreading benefits reaps further blessings.

The passage discusses the importance of faith and overcoming fear in achieving one’s goals. It argues that no matter how much or little someone has, they can still offer help to others through kind words or a smile.

Faith is described as certain knowledge and trust that gives one the motivation to succeed even in the face of fear. Personal examples are given of how faith despite obstacles has led to success. Fear, the opposite of faith, keeps many people stuck due to negative beliefs developed over time.

Two types of fear are outlined - real fear which protects from threats, and “false fear” which stems from ego and prevents growth. Common false fears like the fear of failure are discussed. Symptoms of these fears like procrastination, excuses, and perfectionism are provided to help identify if one struggles with them.

Overall, the passage encourages developing faith over fear through understanding what fears really are and empowering oneself to overcome obstacles in order to help others and find fulfillment in life. Even small acts of kindness can make a big difference for those in need.

The passage discusses overcoming fears through identifying them, gaining knowledge about them, and taking action to replace fears with faith and confidence.

It mentions common fears people have like failure, criticism from others, and even success. These fears develop from negative messaging learned in childhood from parents or friends.

Fears can manifest in behaviors like lacking initiative, ambition, and feeling inferior. Recognizing fears in one’s own behavior is the first step.

Overcoming fears requires research, accepting you have a fear, getting help from professionals, and applying tools like changing negative thoughts. It’s not easy but necessary to master fears and exchange them for a positive mindset.

The chapter concludes with a story about potatoes, eggs, and coffee representing how people react differently to adversity - some become weak, while others gain strength. The lesson is we must seize opportunities each day and handle challenges in a way that makes us stronger. Facing fears with knowledge and willpower can do this.

The story uses the metaphors of a potato, egg, and coffee bean to represent how people respond to adversity. Potatoes become deformed and hard when exposed to heat or stress, while the inside of an egg becomes hard. Coffee beans, however, take on a new flavor and aroma when exposed to boiling water.

It then compares people to these objects. Some let difficulties change them for the worse, like potatoes, while others harden up on the inside like eggs. But some, like coffee beans, take on a new positive character through hardship.

The main message is that regardless of what negative things happen to you, you have power over how they affect you. You don’t need to let challenges ruin your life but can grow from them instead. Your inherent value and potential for success don’t depend on outward circumstances. How you allow experiences to shape you from within is what really matters.

#book-summary
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About Matheus Puppe