SUMMARY - The Gap and the Gain - Dr. Benjamin Hardy

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Here is a summary of the key points:

  • Happiness is viewed as something always in the future, a never-ending chase, causing dissatisfaction. This "GAP thinking" stems from Thomas Jefferson.

  • Measuring yourself against an ideal standard you can never reach keeps you in the GAP, unhappy and unable to appreciate life. Dan Sullivan identified this as a toxic mindset.

  • The GAIN mindset focuses on progress made and accomplishments, creating happiness in the present moment. Appreciating gains gets you out of the GAP.

  • Hedonic adaptation causes constant striving for the next thing, never being satisfied. Goals are reachable, ideals by definition are not.

  • Positive emotions and confidence come from appreciating past successes, not projecting future ideals. Transform setbacks into GAINS.

  • The GAP causes dysfunction, the GAIN leads to growth and fulfillment. Wanting creates motivation, needing creates desperation.

  • Have harmonious passion fueled by want rather than need. Define your own success criteria instead of measuring against externals.

  • Become self-determined, focus on intrinsic motivation, and appreciate your existing gains. This creates freedom and happiness.

    Here are the key points I gathered about priming your subconscious before bed:

  • The hour before bed is prime time to feed your mind productive questions and problems. Your subconscious will chew on them as you sleep.

  • Thomas Edison would think through technical problems before dozing off so creative solutions would emerge upon waking.

  • Priming your mind with strategic questions and planning the night before utilizes sleep to unlock solutions, ideas and motivation needed the next day.

  • The author experimented with this as a PhD student by journaling key questions and mapping blog posts the night before bed.

  • After priming his mind, he would wake up early with clarity and motivation to write the posts. This grew his online platform substantially.

  • Ask yourself "What if I could only work on one thing tomorrow?" Then write about that focus area before bed. Your subconscious will align your next day.

  • Prime your mind nightly. In the morning, capture whatever clarity and creativity surfaces before getting distracted by the day.

The key is feeding your subconscious mind productive questions and problems before sleep, so you can wake up with solutions.

Here is a high-level summary of the key points from the referenced book chapters:

  • Grit involves persevering toward long-term goals with sustained effort and interest over time. Passion provides the intrinsic motivation and positive feelings that can fuel grit.

  • Grit has been linked to achievement across domains. Passion's outcomes depend on whether it is harmonious (adaptive, flexible) or obsessive (rigid, uncontrolled).

  • Deliberate practice over time is key for developing expertise. This involves focused repetition, feedback, and getting out of one's comfort zone.

  • A growth mindset, where ability is seen as malleable rather than fixed, enables the perseverance needed to engage in deliberate practice.

  • Purpose and meaning in activities facilitates passion, grit, and deliberate practice through providing motivation and direction.

  • Habits play an important role in achievement by automating routine behaviors related to skill development.

  • Overall, these concepts interact and build on each other. Passion provides the intrinsic motivation to persevere. A growth mindset enables sustained effort through challenges. Purpose supplies direction and meaning. And habits automate behaviors conducive to excellence.

In summary, the chapters highlight psychological factors that interact to promote high achievement, including grit, passion, mindsets, purpose, deliberate practice, and habits. Developing these traits facilitates success across domains.

Here are some key points summarizing the passage:

  • Progress comes from continual small improvements built up over time through persistence. Don't get discouraged by setbacks.

  • Focus on the process, not perfection. Progress requires patience, experimentation, and a growth mindset.

  • Measure backward to see your improvements. Reflect on past wins and gains to stay motivated.

  • Create daily wins through planning, habits, and self-care. Structure your days for success.

  • Envision your future potential. Use visualization and purpose to direct your subconscious mind.

  • Transform your mindset from passive to active. Don't just react - make intentional choices to shape your experiences.

  • Change your frame of reference. How you perceive challenges shapes your reality. Adopt an optimistic perspective.

  • Develop self-determination. Take control of your motivation and filter out distractions. Internalize your locus of control.

  • Find flow experiences that immerse you in challenge and strength use. Seek out intrinsically rewarding activities.

  • Build positive emotions like gratitude to broaden your mindset. Counterbalance negative feelings.

  • Progress compounds over time when built on stable foundations. Make consistent gains through daily wins.

In summary, the key to progress is persistence in small improvements, measuring growth, controlling your mental framing, and building positive habits over time. Small gains compound when consistently made.

Here is a summary of the key points from the Acknowledgments sections:

  • Dan Sullivan thanks his partner Babs Smith, the Strategic Coach team, coaches, and clients for helping develop and share the GAP/GAIN concepts. He acknowledges Tucker Max, Ben Hardy, and Reid Tracy for making the book possible.

  • Ben Hardy thanks Dan Sullivan for the life-changing ideas, Babs Smith for the opportunity, Tucker Max for establishing the book deal, and the Hay House team. He expresses gratitude for joining Strategic Coach's important work.

  • Both authors thank the people and organizations that contributed to bringing the GAP/GAIN concepts and book to fruition, including collaborators, the Strategic Coach community, and publishers.

  • The Acknowledgments highlight the collaborative nature of developing and spreading impactful ideas.

  • Dan Hardy thanks his family (wife, kids, mom, dad), God, and the Hay House team for their support, inspiration, feedback, and encouragement in creating the book.

  • He acknowledges the meaningful roles they played in helping him share his message with readers.

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